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Parshall: ‘Gentleman’ God Sent Ebola

Wingnut extraordinaire Janet Parshall says that the Ebola virus and many violent events are all part of God’s judgment on us. And he “gives us a warning, another warning, another warning, another warning because he is a gentleman God.” Because that’s exactly what a gentleman would do, murder innocent people to send a warning to other people. That’s apparently his definition of being “loving.”

Comments

  1. Alverant says

    Malaria is going to kill more people today than the ebola will this year. What does Parshall have to say about that?

  2. Mike Morris says

    @Alverant
    She has nothing to say about either as she is not really threatened. Yet.

    However, since ebola is a new boogeyman which can be used to frighten and raise money, she spreads this new FUD with joy and an open hand.

  3. matty1 says

    Well a gentleman is one who acts like a medieaval noble right? So the attitude is right, though I think they would have struggled with the numbers.

  4. dingojack says

    Since Ebola fist appeared in 1976 there have been 2298 cases and 1590 deaths (69.19% mortality}. That’s 60.474 cases and 41.842 deaths per annum. SOURCE.

    In contrast: Non-communicable diseases caused 36 Million deaths, Cardio-vascular disease 17 Million deaths, Cancers 6.7 Million deaths, Chronic Respiratory Disease 4.2 Million deaths, Diabetes 1.7 Million deaths — in 2013 alone….
    SOURCE
    Ever think the Christian god is just phoning it in?

    :s Dingo

  5. says

    To be fair, being omnipresent is like being a bull in a china shop and also being the china shop. No matter what you do, something is going to get smashed. That’s why His name in Hebrew also translates as “Wups!”

  6. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Nothing says gentleman quite like the considerate gift of a relatively rare filovirus eh?

  7. anubisprime says

    dingojack @ 4

    Ever think the Christian god is just phoning it in?

    It would seem so…or more likely the average Christian fundy are fuckin’ barkin’ mad liars, cheats and charlatans…

    I would have to go with the latter…seeing as the former requires a supernatural incompetent loser, besides rationally how likely is that?

  8. says

    “Terribly sorry to bother you, old chap, but here is some ebola. Good afternoon, sir, please accept this AIDS. Pardon me, madam, but allow me to present you with this cancer.”

  9. raven says

    Ebola is a warning all right. We need to put more money into drugs and vaccines for New Emerging Diseases. There is some which is why we have animal tested drugs and vaccines for Ebola. Not ready for prime time but creeping along.

    1. A researcher wrote a book about the Coming Plague a few decades ago. If you look at the ecology, humans are almost half the large animal biomass on the planet with 7 billion. (Much of the rest is…cow.)

    This is a huge evolutionary opportunity for pathogens. Which they are attempting to take advantage of.

    2. There is a New Emerging Disease outbreak about every 18 months.

    3. We’ve so far stopped them all except one. HIV, which got away from us. It isn’t an accident. It takes money, technology, trained personnel, commitment, and luck.

    4. This researcher predicted that sooner or later, there was going to be a plague like the 1918 flu epidemic, that might kill 20 or 50 million people. He thought it might be HIV but that virus doesn’t have the right characteristics.

    He is still waiting.

    5. I’m not so sure about that. While human conditions are favorable for a disease fueled mass die off, our science and technology is getting better and better. It’s a race, and so far, we are winning.

    PS It isn’t going to be Ebola either. Not the right characteristics. There is a nagging fear among scientists that Ebola, which isn’t all that capable of spreading, might start evolving and adapting to humans.

  10. raven says

    Ever think the Christian god is just phoning it in?

    Sure.

    The fundie xians are just phoning it in too. There is always a natural disaster somewhere, always has been, always will be.

    They are all phoning it in, all the way down past the angels, humans, satan, and demons.

  11. dingojack says

    Raven – perhaps it’s — the motor vehicle!
    (Or not, at 1.24 Million deaths worldwide in 2013 it trails other causes of death considerably (#9 on the ‘leader board of death’ [see below]). But out-numbers all total known Ebola deaths by nearly 780 to 1 for 2013 alone).
    Dingo
    ———
    See here for ‘the leader board’ of deaths 2002 & 2012.
    Weirdly, the couple of hundred Ebola deaths don’t make the cut.

  12. arakasi says

    Because that’s exactly what a gentleman would do, murder innocent people to send a warning to other people.

    There’s a reason why the senior Mafia boss is called the Godfather

  13. Larry says

    So if his god is sending a warning to us, presumably us refers to those of us in the United States where we’re infested with lunatics like Parshall, why, oh, why has it made the poor people of Africa, where Ebola is, you know, actually found, suffer for our short comings?

    Once again proving that their god has the eyesight of Mr Magoo.

  14. johnwoodford says

    Larry@15: No, that’s because the poor people of Africa are NPCs (or, at least, nowhere near as real as those of us in the United States). Their misfortune is only significant insofar as it provides opportunities for the Worthy to have teachable moments.

  15. stever says

    Central Africa, which has generally crappy medical services, gets Ebola. The United States is much better able to resist outbreaks of communicable diseases, so we get droughts, tornados, drunken drivers and fundiewhackazoid Christians. The Sadist in the Sky has lousy aim, but His strategy makes sense. He’s even trying to counter our resistance to infectious disease by spreading the antivax lunacy. Who knows, in twenty years, we could have a good old-fashioned polio epidemic.

  16. lorn says

    Hmmm … Ebola contemplated as a mechanism to winnow the chaff from the wheat. Kind of a trial-by-ordeal mechanism where those seeking renewed faith expose themselves and the righteous come through with their faith fortified. In some ways I kind of like that picture. Mega-churches leasing jumbo-jets, loading up thousands of congregants, flying into Liberia, and drinking infected blood.

    Then they wait for the hand of God to make the selection where, under ideal conditions, somewhat more than half of them die. But the blessing is that the survivors live on with renewed faith and a deep feeling that God loves them even as they deal with long term problems like: inflammation of the testicles, joint pains, muscle pains, skin peeling, or hair loss, light sensitivity, excess tearing, iritis, iridocyclitis, choroiditis, and blindness.

    Details from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebola_virus_disease#Prognosis

  17. Ichthyic says

    Ebola contemplated as a mechanism to winnow the chaff from the wheat. Kind of a trial-by-ordeal mechanism where those seeking renewed faith expose themselves and the righteous come through with their faith fortified.

    Well, we already have Pentecostal snake handlers, so I suppose the next iteration would be Pentecostal Ebola lickers?

    Baptist Ebola Touchers?

  18. Ichthyic says

    The Sadist in the Sky has lousy aim, but His strategy makes sense. He’s even trying to counter our resistance to infectious disease by spreading the antivax lunacy. Who knows, in twenty years, we could have a good old-fashioned polio epidemic.

    I get it now! God isn’t trying to winnow the righteous from the not, he’s trying to winnow the sensible from the gullible.

    good one, God.

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