Wingnut: Warren Presidency Would Be ‘Communist Coup’


Matt Barber’s site BarbWire published a column by someone named Luke Hamilton claiming that Obama is trying to get Elizabeth Warren elected president instead of Hillary (good luck with that one) to complete the “communist coup” he allegedly has begun. Because as we all know, the hallmark of every communist coup is a booming stark market and record corporate profits.

But hold the phone! There appears to be a new snout in the pigpen. The whisper campaign is gaining a full head of steam to draft Senator Elizabeth “Fauxcohontas” Warren into the race for President. According to Edward Klein, the author of Blood Feud: The Clintons vs. The Obamas, the President has tasked Valerie Jarrett with the job of convincing Elizabeth Warren to run in 2016. It is hard to know if Klein’s sources are accurate, but it is logical to think that Obama is involved in this effort. Primarily because Obama is incessantly distracted from doing his actual job by anything and everything. This project would allow him to avoid geopolitical crises like the Islamification of Iraq, unknown numbers of people (with unknown identities!) pouring over our borders, ongoing attacks faced by our allies Ukraine & Israel, and an American economy more fragile than the sanity of Ed Schultz. Also, it’s logical to think that Obama would be interested in convincing Warren to run for President because playing Kingmaker to the next progressive socialist in the White House would scratch his egomaniacal itch and cement his name as the first of a new generation of Marxist “forefathers” who fundamentally transformed the United States into poverty-stricken irrelevancy. A Chicago Machine Marxist is an unfortunate accident, a Chicago Machine Marxist followed by an East Coast Socialist Egghead is a contiguous communist coup with long-ranging repercussions.

One of the well-documented psychological distinctions between liberals and conservatives is that liberals are much more comfortable with nuance and ambiguity, while conservatives want everything to be absolutely black and white. For the Christian right, this is hardly surprising; their entire religion is based upon the eternal battle between a perfect and holy God and an irredeemably evil Satan. The entire world is one giant fallacy of the excluded middle for them.

I suspect this is why they find themselves incapable of imagining anything between pure capitalism and pure socialism or communism (they tend to use those terms interchangeably, though they are different things). Never mind that virtually the entire developed world has long settled on a mixed economy, with private ownership of the means of production along with a welfare system and government regulation. But for these halfwits, anything less than pure laissez faire capitalism is identical to Marxism.

No wonder they object to the rainbow being used as a symbol of LGBT equality — they don’t believe in gay people, they don’t believe in equality and, for that matter, they don’t believe that the world needs anything but black and white.

Comments

  1. matty1 says

    Well, one of the hallmarks of a coup is the peaceful transfer of power from one elected leader to another.

    Words, how do they work?

  2. brucemartin says

    It’s about time we had a President from the Senate Banking committee. Sign me up!

  3. says

    I’m waiting for the version of this with Clinton. It’ll be the same, but with a mention of her husband’s wandering penis.
     

    But for these halfwits, anything less than pure laissez faire capitalism is identical to Marxism.

    [exempt Social Security], [exempt Medicare] (both while being pro-Ryan Budget, ironically). [exempt any other government program I use, but only for me, because I earned it].
    Also, [exempt ladyparts, but for different reasons than the above].

  4. alanb says

    It is hard to know if Klein’s sources are accurate…

    Given how inaccurate both Klein and his sources have been in the past, I think that the probability that I could accurately answer that are pretty high.

  5. samgardner says

    Is it really a well-documented difference that conservatives are less comfortable with nuance? It sounds likely to me, but I’ve just never seen anything specific on it.

  6. garnetstar says

    I was wondering, was there ever a completely capitalist society? There must have been, I suppose, but I’ve read about King Henry II of England (1133 – 1189 AD) establishing trade regulations, and that was a long time ago. They seem to have needed some government regulation even back then.

    (Henry and kings before him also borrowed money at interest and ran up substantial national debts, too. That’s not a modern invention either.)

  7. Chiroptera says

    Chicago Machine Marxist? I really want to see that movie: the trailers were awesome!

  8. fmitchell says

    “Islamification of Iraq”? Sorry, I just blew a tire running over that phrase.

    Despite Saddam’s vaunted “secularization”, Iraq was pretty solidly Muslim. What’s happening, for no apparent reason (*cough*U.S. invasion*cough*) is that well-armed religious fanatics are taking over. Funny how armed occupation or revolution leaves a power vacuum that people with guns are more than happy to fill, no matter how inspiringly named the preceding military action may be.

    Funny, too, how hard it is to concentrate on one’s “job” when the majority of at least one major branch of government refuses to let one do it.

  9. dingojack says

    Could it be the American Proconsul of Iraq* Paul Bremner, fired virtually the whole Iraqi army and police forces, who, because they were unpaid and now redundant, grabbed the local caches of weapons in police stations and military bases (unguarded of course) and joined the resistance to their increasing hated occupiers?
    Nah that surely couldn’t possibly be the case.
    Dingo
    ——-
    * And Lord High-Poobah of the American Mesopotamian Possessions

  10. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    they don’t believe that the world needs anything but black and white.

    What a drab if slightly arty world they must live in.

    Very monochrome and polarised.

    Gimme lotsa colours and the natural spectroscope in the sky – and bridge to mythical Valhalla anyday!

    Communist coup? Really? That is so last century paranoia.

  11. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    Because as we all know, the hallmark of every communist coup is a booming stark market and record corporate profits.

    Stark Enterprises bought the naming rights to the entire stock market? How did I miss that?

  12. Abdul Alhazred says

    Wait a minute. I thought Obama was a Communist coup?

    They don’t even remember their own shtick.

  13. dugglebogey says

    It’s entirely possible that Elizabeth Warren is wayyy too smart to run for President.

  14. marcus says

    @ 12 Exactly, Obama is obviously going to declare martial law and appoint himslf dictator president-for-life! He has no need for the likes of Warren!

  15. Michael Heath says

    Ed writes:

    For the Christian right, this is hardly surprising; their entire religion is based upon the eternal battle between a perfect and holy God [sic] . . .

    Which their own holy dogma asserts, but also refutes. These people are seriously deluded.

  16. wscott says

    @ samgardner #5: There has been some research on this, yes. There was in fact a big study that came out just last month. I can’t remember if Ed posted about it or not, but it got a fair amount of press.

  17. Pierce R. Butler says

    But if the junior Senator from Massachusetts gets elected to the White House, all the True Christian Patriots™ will be able to go up into the attic, and (with a little white paint and Sharpie work) re-use their classic “Impeach E*** Warren!!!” signs.

  18. says

    @5:

    Yes, psychological studies have consistently found this pattern:

    http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2003/07/22_politics.shtml

    I couldn’t say how strong the associations are off-hand; people sometimes have a bad tendency to over-interpret weak associations as being causal. But it sure explains a lot.

    I also assume that you need something far more severe than intolerance of ambiguity to believe (or be willing to pretend to believe) the ridiculous shit that wingnuts routinely shower us with. There must be multiple layers of cognitive dysfunction going on, not simply a desire for easy answers (after all, they assiduously avoid the simplest answer of all in favor of convoluted and logically inconsistent explanations).

  19. EnlightenmentLiberal says

    election

    coup

    They keep using the word, but I do not think that they know what it means.

    And no, I don’t think they’re referring to the second meaning of “coup” which is a mere successful move.

  20. colnago80 says

    As I recall, back in 2006, the punditry in Washington and New York was anointing Hillary Clinton as the 2008 Democratic nominee for president. How did that work out. Elizabeth Warren has a higher DC profile now then Obama did then.

    The reality is that Warren’s chances, if she chose to run, don’t look good as we sit here today but Obama’s chances didn’t look good in 2007 either. Of course, Hillary might decide not to run after all in which case all bets are off.

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