In the proud tradition of Jerry Falwell claiming that the Teletubbies were a gay plot to destroy America, Larry Tomczak of Charisma magazine complains that “Archie Comics Embraces Homosexuality, Witchcraft Demons and Occult Practices.”
Remember as a youngster snuggling up under the covers or laying across the bed after pulling out a stack of your favorite comics? Superman. Batman. Wonder Woman. Casper the Friendly Ghost. And almost everyone’s favorite from Riverdale High—Archie!
The adventures of redheaded Archie and his friends Veronica, Betty and Jughead were wholesome, kid-friendly family fun. It all began in 1941. Seventy-three years—what a wonderful legacy.
On Wednesday, everything changed. In the words of progressive Archie comic publisher and co-CEO John Goldwater, “A new Riverdale is born!”
Suffice it to say, our freckled-face friend is fatally shot saving the life of his homosexual buddy, Kevin, who is now part of the gang. Kev enjoys his gay marriage and serves as a senator solidly pushing gun-control and modeling diversity for all the young readers.
Wait, a comic has characters that do things you disagree with? You should totally not read that comic. And then you should shut the fuck up.