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Jul 14 2014

Fischer Thinks God Draws Maps

Bryan Fischer makes one of the dumber arguments he’s ever made (yes, imagine the competition for that designation) in a column for BarbWire in which he says that the reason we must turn back those children coming to our border is because God put the border there, as he does all borders, and we must respect it.

What we learn from the Bible is that borders are God’s idea, and that such borders are to be respected. They are not to be crossed without permission.

Crossing a border without permission is like breaking in the back door of a house to help yourself to goodies instead of being invited in by the host through the front door. You might get to eat either way, in the same house and from the same cupboard, but in one case you would be doing something respectful and civil and in the other doing something that rightly should land you in jail.

The Scriptures make it clear that national sovereignty, including clearly defined borders, is God’s idea. In Acts 17:26, we read, “And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place…”

Two things, we are told, are under God’s sovereign control: how long a nation lasts, and where its borders are. The verb translated “having determined” is the Greek verb “horizo,” from which we get the word “horizon.” It means “to mark out, to define.” So God has marked out and defined the borders of each country.

Our southern border is there by God’s design. To disregard it, to treat it as if were not there, to regard it as something not worth respecting and defending, is an insult to the God who put it there for our benefit.

Okay, so when thousands of American immigrants flooded what was first part of Mexico and then an independent Republic of Texas in the 1820s and 1830s, leading eventually to it becoming the 28th state, was that also a violation of the God-designed boundaries? Or was that God acting to make the boundaries where it was? And how can we tell? Borders are redrawn all the time by wars and secession all the time, so how do we know when we’re violating the boundaries that God designated and when we’re doing God’s will by creating the new boundaries? I’d love to hear Fischer try to answer that question. It would be hilarious.

And of course, this would also make all invasions a violation of God’s will, including the Korean, Vietnam and both Gulf wars, right Bryan? But no, he supported the Iraq war, only later deciding that it was a waste of time because we didn’t forcibly convert everyone there to Christianity. So apparently those God-designed boundaries that we must never violate lest we offend the Almighty only applies when he thinks it applies. How utterly unsurprising.

32 comments

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  1. 1
    marcus

    Yeah just like when that Samaritan guy kicked the shit out of that injured and destitute traveler because he was in the wrong fucking place! Served ‘im right! That’s what I’m talking about!
    Because Jesus!

  2. 2
    keithb

    And what about the Right’s new favorite, Putin invading Crimea?

  3. 3
    Kevin Kehres

    54 40 or FIGHT!

  4. 4
    marcus

    And Mexico? We stole that fair and square!

  5. 5
    dingojack

    Actually Acts 17:26 says something like:
    “εποιησεν τε εξ ενος αιματος παν εθνος ανθρωπων κατοικειν επι παν το προσωπον της γης ορισας προτεταγμενους καιρους και τας οροθεσιας της κατοικιας αυτων”

    Any takers on a translation?

    Dingo

  6. 6
    d.c.wilson

    Will Fischer’s neo-confederate buddies realize that he just came out against The Cause?

  7. 7
    dugglebogey

    I missed the chapter where Jesus said, “Fuck the children, let them fucking starve because they are brown…”

  8. 8
    Tabby Lavalamp

    So does he think the first European invaders just magically sprung up in the Americas?

  9. 9
    sundiver

    Tabby Lavalamp, I don’t know that I’d use the word “think” to describe what goes on in Fischer’s brain cavity.

  10. 10
    busterggi

    Of course god draws all borders, its just that only his chosen white European Christians can see them properly.

  11. 11
    D. C. Sessions

    Well, that certainly puts gerrymandering in a new light.

  12. 12
    cptdoom

    Eva Longoria was on Henry Louis Gates’ genealogy show on PBS and he was able to find the land deed her like 10th great-grandfather got from the King of Spain in the 1500s or 1600s for the land her family still owns just north of the Rio Grande. She joked that her grandfather used to tell them “we didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.” They must hate Jesus a lot.

  13. 13
    scienceavenger

    I guess it’s time for Bryan to go over to Iraq and tell them that it’s all God’s fault.

  14. 14
    tsig

    You’all don’t remember when a 1000 foot tall Jesus appeared and drew the US southern border with his giant flaming sword then janked out his 50 foot penis and pissed on Mexico?

  15. 16
    vmanis1

    In 1859, there was a dispute over exactly where to draw the line between British colonies and the United States in the waters off Bellingham. The Oregon Treaty of 1846 drew the line along the 49th parallel to the coast, then vaguely through the islands between the mainland and Vancouver Island, and then around Vancouver Island to the ocean. Unfortunately, there were a number of ways of drawing the boundaries through the straits, as a look at the map showing the BC Gulf Islands and the WA San Juan Islands will show.

    This resulted in a state of mild hostilities (no shots fired in anger, no casualties) now known at the Pig War, which was resolved eventually (in 1872) by an arbitrator drawing the boundary to the west of the San Juans, which resulted in San Juan Island itself becoming U.S. territory.

    Now, if God had been involved in this, rather than an American farmer and a British colonial Hudson’s Bay employee, you might think that His intentions would have been made clear, rather than having to rely on vague treaty language, poor maps, relatively primitive geological understanding, and an arbitrator.

    By the way, British Columbia is so named because the Columbia River was early thought to be the main geographic feature. As a result, a `natural’ boundary between what is now Canada and the United States would follow that river; surely if God had anything to say on the matter, the river would be the dividing line, which put the state of Washington on the Canadian side of the border.

    Oh, but I am expecting logic from Bryan Fischer. That is like expecting an explanation of Fermat’s Last Theorem from a Bartlett pear.

  16. 17
    caseloweraz

    Oh east is east and west is west
    And never the twain shall meet,
    Till earth and sky stand presently
    At God’s great judgment seat;

    But there is neither east nor west,
    Border nor breed nor birth,
    When two strong men stand face to face
    Though they come from the ends o’ the earth!

    Does God hate Rudyard Kipling?

  17. 18
    vereverum

    @ dingojack #5
    How about
    fecitque ex uno omne genus hominum inhabitare super universam faciem terrae, definiens statuta tempora, et terminos habitationis eorum
    But seriously, folks, he could spin that προστεταγμένους καιροὺς is concurrent with the ὁροθεσίας and so admit that boundaries change but what we have now is the commanded boundary for this appointed time.

  18. 19
    caseloweraz

    Matthew 19:14: Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

    It can be argued that means a spiritual coming together. But it’s hard to worship the Christian God the way Fischer wants when you’re living in fear of going to the local church because you may be killed or kidnapped on the way.

    Why does Fischer want to diminish God’s flock?

  19. 20
    dingojack

    Wait now —
    1000 foot Jesus only has as 50 foot penis?!? That’s equivalent to 6 foot male human having a 3.6 inch penis.
    Hmmmm …that explains a lot about Christianity’s clear feelings of inadequacy.
    :) Dingo

  20. 21
    Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    Crossing a border without permission is like breaking in the back door of a house to help yourself to goodies instead of being invited in by the host through the front door.

    So God was against the whole “entry of the Israelites into the Promised Land” thing from the beginning? Because I’m pretty sure the Canaanites whom the Israelites dispossessed hadn’t issued an invitation.

  21. 22
    jnorris

    North and South Carolina still haven’t finalized their mutual border after 220-odd years. A joint commission has staked out where the border is supposed to be, there are a few questions about individually owned pieces of property, and the state legislatures have yet to vote on the final version.

  22. 23
    Doug Little

    Perhaps Brian can enlighten us on exactly where the borders of Israel should lie as the Bible has (surprise, surprise) conflicting information on the matter (Numbers 34 and Ezekiel 47).

  23. 24
    marcus

    dingo @ 20 Hey, it may be short but it’s not very big around!

  24. 25
    spamamander, internet amphibian

    @ 16 Wait… so can we make that border a reality?? “Oh no, I’m in Canada now. How awful.”

  25. 26
    moarscienceplz

    I used to live in the Gadsden Purchase. Since that piece of land changed hands as a simple financial transaction, does that imply that God can be bribed to change his mind? Maybe THAT”S the reason the Koch brothers are trying to amass so much money – they hope to buy their way out of Hell.

  26. 27
    newfie

    dingojack: “1000 foot Jesus only has as 50 foot penis?!? That’s equivalent to 6 foot male human having a 3.6 inch penis”

    1000 foot Jesuszilla is a grower, not a shower

  27. 28
    dingojack

    Marcus – pretty sure that’s the rule only for found stogies….
    ;) Dingo

  28. 29
    freehand

    @16 – That explains why I’ve felt inclined to a more polite discourse with the world, ever since I moved to Washington “State”. I currently live about one half mile one kilometer north of the Columbia River. Great! That means we polite moochers of Baja British Columbia get socialistical health care now, eh?

  29. 30
    greg1466

    I had no idea that the phrase “papers please” originated in the Bible.

  30. 31
    tubi

    But no, he supported the Iraq war, only later deciding that it was a waste of time because we didn’t forcibly convert everyone there to Christianity. So apparently those God-designed boundaries that we must never violate lest we offend the Almighty only applies when he thinks it applies.

    We don’t have to respect Allah-designed borders.

  31. 32
    Mobius

    I think God wants us to return to the boundaries of Babylon and the Hittite empires. Clearly this is so. And all of North America should be returned to the boundaries of the Amerind nations that once existed there.

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