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Alex Jones Hits Rock Bottom

We’re all used to Alex Jones spouting idiotic and bizarre conspiracy theories on a daily basis, but he may have sunk even lower than he usually does with a long diatribe about Michelle Obama really being a man. This is disgusting on every imaginable level.

Well, Joan Rivers talked about it the other day, and now it’s an international news story. The question is, “Who is Michelle Obama? Is she really a woman? Is she a man?”

Now, I’m not drawing any conclusions here, but I know this — it’s fair to question anything and everything this administration says. I can’t think of an administration in history that’s been caught with such a perfect record of everything they say and do being a lie or a fraud…

These people are the authors of such tyranny that they shouldn’t whine and complain when the public doesn’t believe anything they’re saying — especially when every time I look at “Michelle” or “Michael” Obama, the First Lady, or First Tranny, something doesn’t look right.

She doesn’t look like any black woman I’ve ever known … She’s got shoulders that are wider than a man’s, which physiologically doesn’t happen. You can put three heads on a man’s shoulders, and two heads on a woman’s shoulders — that’s a known anatomy…

“For me,” he continued, “this really isn’t just a laughing matter. It’s not just the sexuality, but the very genetics of the human species across the board is being manipulated.”

“There’s also been a small percentage, a small statistic, of men who identify as females and females who identify as males,” Jones added. “And I don’t judge that, I’m just sick of the societal obsession with it. It’s clearly being pushed, and what I’m tired of is the force-feeding of all of this culturally, to reduce population and break up the family.”

So he’s tired of the whole trans* thing being “force-fed” to the public. So if Michelle Obama were trans (and there would of course be nothing wrong with if it she was), shouldn’t he be happy that she’s not being open about it and feeding the “societal obsession with it”? And since the only ones who are pushing this shit are right-wing assholes like him, who exactly is obsessing here?

Comments

  1. says

    As fucked up as this is, I doubt that AJ has even scratched the caprock of teh ReiKKKwingBatshitKKKrazzeepantsBurnin’Stoopit wait until he punches through the mantle and the fiery hot spew of REALLY wacky shit starts.

  2. raven says

    but he may have sunk even lower than he usually …

    1. There is no bottom. It’s infinite.

    2. Oddly enough, these days Alex Jones is becoming GOP mainstream. His peer group is Glenn Beck, Fox NoNews, Rush LImbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, any federal level elected official from Texas, and most fundie xian leaders.

  3. blf says

    If this nutter really has hit the rocks at the bottom, he’s done it which such momentum that he’ll probably still be increasing his speed by the time he finishes boring through the mantle, core, mantle again, and out the other side. The real question is, When does he achieve Wrap Factor 1 (the speed of light) and vanish from our sight ?

  4. raven says

    Mandatory H1N1 Vaccine May Be in the Works
    http://www. infowars. com/mandatory-h1n1-vaccine-may-be-in-the-works/

    Kurt Nimmo
    Infowars Alex Jones website
    June 24, 2009

    It is well known that the Rockefeller Foundation is the prime sponsor of public relations for the United Nations’ drastic depopulation program. deleted gibberish

    The eugenicists are back with their latest program to kill an untold number of people under the cover of the “swine flu pandemic.” If you line up for a vaccination contaminated with mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and other toxins — and a possible agent for future cancers designed to decimate world population — you need to have your head examined.

    However, as Ron Paul indicates, you may not have a choice — the government may force you to choose between a toxic vaccine and a FEMA camp.

    1. Did you know the swine flu vaccine is part of a UN depopulation program? And will be mandatory or you get sent to a FEMA camp?

    2. This was written in 2009. Of course, none of this ever happened.

    3. In fact, the swine flu was quite a success. Using modern biotech, a vaccine was developed and produced in a few months, a task that used to take a decade or so. And it saved thousands or tens of thousands of lives. In the southern hemisphere, without the vaccine, the death toll was much higher than in the northern hemisphere.

    I’m not aware than anything Alex Jones has ever written has come true or made any sense.

  5. says

    There’s also been a small percentage, a small statistic, of men who identify as females and females who identify as males,” Jones added. “And I don’t judge that, I’m just sick of the societal obsession with it.”

    Yeah, I’m sick of the societal obsession with knowing someone’s private parts or their history, too. But of course, that’s not what he’s talking about.

  6. says

    Alex Jones is so deranged he probably can’t tell the difference between “tyranny” and “tranny.” He’s used the first word on the Obama administration so often that it was inevitable he’d start obsessing about the second word, too. You can expect most anything from a nutcase like Jones.

  7. Phillip IV says

    She’s got shoulders that are wider than a man’s, which physiologically doesn’t happen. You can put three heads on a man’s shoulders, and two heads on a woman’s shoulders — that’s a known anatomy…

    That’s not a “known anatomy”, that’s a rule of thumb for depicting an idealized female anatomy, as employed by comic book artists. And obviously, the only place where deviations from this norm “don’t happen” are comic books.

    Conservative “thinking” on gender issues seems to have further declined from the level of a 19th century biology textbook to “How to draw comic book characters the Marvel way”.

  8. D. C. Sessions says

    A basic theorem in rhetoric is that once you introduce a contradiction, you can prove anything.

    The modern “conservative” equivalent is that once you introduce a complete reality disconnect (e.g. birtherism) you can get to just about any other insanity. AKA crank magnetism.

    In this case, it’s not all that far from AJ’s birtherism (etc.) to Michele being a trans woman: if you can retroactively change Barack Obama’s birth records why not change the birth records of his daughters as well? Never mind all of the times she was in public while conspicuously gravid (hey, there’s a prosthesis for that! Isn’t there?)

    Of course, it’s also possible that AJ isn’t aware that trans women aren’t equipped to carry and give birth to babies.

  9. colnago80 says

    She doesn’t look like any black woman I’ve ever known … She’s got shoulders that are wider than a man’s, which physiologically doesn’t happen.

    Apparently, he’s never watched a woman’s body building contest or seen pictures of Bev Francis.

  10. says

    I don’t think Jones is the first to claim this. And didn’t he promote the claim that the Obama daughters aren’t actually Barack and/or Michelle’s offspring? In any case Jones’s outrage at stuff being shoved down his throat will always take a back seat to the narrative that Obama is a big giant liar lying about everything from his place of birth on.

    As for Jones being a disinfo agent at least one group, Help Free the Earth, believes exactly that. No doubt there are others who think Jones is a willing or unwilling pawn of the New World Order.

    http://www.helpfreetheearth.com/news658_Jones.html

  11. dan4 says

    “Now, I’m not drawing any conclusions here…First Tranny…”

    Uh, I would think calling the First Lady the “First Tranny” means that you’re “drawing conclusions.”

  12. dan4 says

    “….(and there would of course be nothing wrong with it if she was)…”

    Actually, the implication from MO being transgendered would be that she didn’t give birth to her two children…so it’s not contradictory to believe that there’s nothing wrong in and of itself with having a sex-change operation and to believe it’s stupid and wrong to say that the First Lady had one.

  13. thebookofdave says

    You can put all the heads you want on Alex Jone’s shoulders, but it’s a waste of effort. He can empty them faster than you can stick them on.

  14. says

    And while I’m thinking about it:

    T-shirt, bumper sticker, etc.

    “‘Reality’ is the crutch of the delusion impaired*.”.

    * ©, TM, SM 2014 democommie ministries and media, LLC, LSD & PCP–Not to be confused with democommie media and ministries, MDA, THC & LaLaLa.

  15. chuckonpiggott says

    I can’t believe anyone would say that Malia is not Michelle Obama’s daughter. Just look at them.

  16. throwaway, never proofreads, every post a gamble says

    I remember at the end of Bush the Second’s reign there were these people showing up on Daily KOS on a daily basis talking about how Bush is going to declare martial law in order to stay in power, that there were FEMA death camps for all liberals, and they even had some kooks reporting on the transportation activity of trains they alleged to have been transporting building material to those camps. I’m seeing the same type of apoplexy-induced fomented rage directed by the right-wing as happening at a higher rate (and reaching a fever-pitch sooner than when it became memetic during Bush).

    I’m wondering if they are the same people. Probably most of them are, because once you have a “government = enemy” mindset, I don’t think political ideology matters. It’s just par-for-the-course, I guess, that those who do have themselves wrapped up in their ideology will make the loudest squeals when it’s the “other” in control.

  17. caseloweraz says

    Alex Jones: Now, I’m not drawing any conclusions here, but I know this — it’s fair to question anything and everything this administration says. I can’t think of an administration in history that’s been caught with such a perfect record of everything they say and do being a lie or a fraud…

    I like to see a man be fair-minded, abjuring over-general conclusions. Congratulations, Mr. Jones, for not stating the absurd conclusion that everything the Obama administration says or does is a lie or a fraud.

  18. caseloweraz says

    As Tom Paxton once said, you don’t have to invent something to satirize these people; you just have to quote them.

  19. caseloweraz says

    Jones: Well, Joan Rivers talked about it the other day, and now it’s an international news story.

    It’s an international news story about Joan Rivers being her usual off-color-comedienne self and making an outrageous joke — not about whether the first lady is really a man.

    But I guess that kind of subtle difference goes over Jones’s head.

  20. lorn says

    I think this claim is just the mental blow-back from Alex Jones still processing the idea that there is a black man in the white house.

    The sequence went something like this:

    A black man is POTUS –> deep racist feeling that this is wrong. Unable to admit racism or process racism.
    Feeling that this is wrong will not go away.

    Feeling is attributed to safe cause, ineligibility to be POTUS —> birth certificate, etcetera. Nobody buys this and it leads nowhere. Continue looking for flaws to explain feeling.

    Consider Obama’s behavior against stereotypical behavior expectation; black men are promiscuous, violent, impulsive whereas Obama is monogamous, controlled and rational —> AJ feels lied to because his expectation for a black man were not met —> Obama is not a real man.

    Obama is gay —> AJ feels further lied to because Obama presents himself as straight

    Gay Obama is attached and loyal to Michelle Obama —> is not a woman.

    Compare Michelle Obama to stereotypical expectation for black women; black women are mammies or whores, oversize breasts and buttocks, non-assertive, uneducated with no interest in exercise, Michelle Obama is neither mammy nor whore, her breasts and buttocks are proportional, she is educated, and she exercises regularly. —> AJ feels lied to because Michelle Obama has failed to meet expectations. —> Michelle Obama is not a woman.

    From the first Alex Jones, and many others, have had a deep, visceral, feeling of things being deeply, existentially wrong with Obama being elected president. Those feeling come primarily from the simple fact that Obama is black. For a lot of folks a black man being in a position of power and control over them is panic inducing. They might deal with this issue if they could address the fact that this is rooted in their racism and racist culture directly. But they can’t. So they deny any connection between the feeling from the racism they cannot admit to.

    Which still leaves those nagging, problematic, highly charged and irrational feelings bubbling up for no apparent reason. Of course the human brain is really good at making up stories as to why things are the way they are and why we feel the way we do about them. Alex Jones has made a career providing alternative explanations for events that cause difficult feelings.

    A small group of hijackers fly airliners into skyscrapers and flatten the buildings —> Lots of scary thoughts and feelings. No worries AJ provides a story line where airliners cannot bring down buildings and the whole thing is a vast government plot.

    Scary weather —> fear and concern. No worries AJ explains that the weather is controlled by an antenna array in Alaska.

  21. dogmeat says

    I can’t think of an administration in history that’s been caught with such a perfect record of everything they say and do being a lie or a fraud…

    Ummmm, I can think of at least three off the top of my head…no… four.

  22. says

    @20:

    Well, there certainly were people who were concerned about Bushco not going quietly into that good night.

    OTOH, they weren’t people with funding to set up radio, television and internet talk shows nor were they sitting elected officials. And, no, it’s not “both sides” doing it.

  23. comfychair says

    Once you understand how it’s possible to build humans out of nanothermite, it all starts to make sense.

  24. anubisprime says

    raven @ 5

    This was written in 2009. Of course, none of this ever happened.

    So Alex thought a Republican president with the full GOP credentials…i,e Shrub….was planning on sending dissenters to a FEMA camp if they refused inoculations or summat’…?

    And Ron Paul also indicated that result?

    So it does not matter which party has the president…they both want to kill or imprison their own populace !

    Right! got it …yous guys are all fucked then!

  25. magistramarla says

    lorn@ #25
    Your logic is perfectly correct.
    Also, I think that conservative women simply can’t accept that Michelle is quite beautiful and brings a sense of fashion, elegance and grace to the white house that reminds many people of Jackie Kennedy.
    This makes conservative heads explode, so they must find ways to put her down.
    She’s also an excellent mother and her two daughters are growing up to be secure and lovely young women.
    This goes against every stereotype that the racists believe about black mothers and daughters, so they have to deny, deny, deny.

  26. says

    I have broad shoulders, a trait I inherited from my mother. She gave birth to five children. I gave birth to one. We are biologically female.

  27. iangould says

    Other than transphobia, how is this any more bizarre and disgusting than the thousand other lies Jones tells daily?:

  28. busterggi says

    Zeno @ 8.

    Perhsps Jones meant tyranosaurus, they’re probably all the same to him.

  29. comfychair says

    The mainstream media refuses to talk about how Michelle Obama is actually a space lizard wearing a man suit wearing a woman suit, therefore it must be true.

  30. inquisitiveraven says

    anubisprime@29: Obama was elected in 2008, and inaugurated on 20 January, 2009. IIRC, the Swine flu turned up in May 2009, so Alex wasn’t making claims about Shrub.

  31. speed0spank says

    I saw this on The Young Turks and I think Joan Rivers was the first to make the transgender accusation. Of course Ana Kasparian had no problem with Joan because she was joking! If you say “just kidding” or if someone laughs at your hateful shit then its a-ok. But Alex Jones on the other hand…well he is not a comedian so he was condemned.
    They are both assholes, of course.

  32. says

    She doesn’t look like any black woman I’ve ever known … She’s got shoulders that are wider than a man’s, which physiologically doesn’t happen.

    Has this wanker ever seen a black woman before?

  33. mikeymeitbual says

    “You can put three heads on a man’s shoulders, and two heads on a woman’s shoulders — that’s a known anatomy…”

    That’s called a factoid – it sounds like a fact but it’s completely untrue. No surprise here… reason has never been Mr. Jones strong suit. As it turns out, as a man with a slight frame and a large head, if I had 3 heads 2 of them would have to grow from my shoulders. Completely irrelevant, but I enjoy taking ridiculous premises like this and pursuing them to their inevitably ridiculous conclusions.

    “There’s also been a small percentage, a small statistic, of men who identify as females and females who identify as males,” Jones added. “And I don’t judge that, I’m just sick of the societal obsession with it. It’s clearly being pushed, and what I’m tired of is the force-feeding of all of this culturally, to reduce population and break up the family.”

    The “societal obsession” with gender issues is merely the insistence that we don’t treat human beings differently for being different. This is part of a gradual societal change where a person’s gender or skin color is of no more consequence than the color of their eyes (to paraphrase Bob Marley’s “War”) and our recognition of such. He only believes it’s being thrown in his face because any mention of it offends his delicate sensibilities and thus is being thrown in his face – it would almost seem he’s attracted to these notions given his obsession with them. Simultaneously, he claims the right to be offensive and insists people don’t have a right to not be offended.

    “First Tranny” – really? That’s the most clever thing he could come up with? I would be just as surprised if he chose “First Manbearpig” as they have the same foundation in reason – none. Well, except Manbearpig exists as a concept from a cartoon while “First Tranny” exists as a very sad attempt at an insult.

  34. dingojack says

    “The ‘societal obsession’ with gender issues is merely the insistence that we don’t treat human beings differently for being different.”

    Of course we should treat different people differently.
    What one shouldn’t do is treat people as being lesser (or, more rarely, greater) as a consequence of irrelevant differences. That doesn’t mean blithely ignoring any kind of difference. Sheesh.

    Dingo

  35. anubisprime says

    inquisitiveraven @ 35


    Obama was elected in 2008, and inaugurated on 20 January, 2009. IIRC, the Swine flu turned up in May 2009, so Alex wasn’t making claims about Shrub.

    Me bad… ;-)…it seems so long ago, and Alex, bless him, seems to be stuck in a groove ever since Noah floundered on Mount Ararat!

    But Alex has been spewing the exact same rhetoric even during the Bush occupation of the WH all FEMA camps and conspiracies and true patriots(tm) losing their dummies…sorry guns!

    The message does not seem to change only the hairline!

  36. dingojack says

    dogmeat (#26) – you’re better at this than I am. I can only come up with one from the top of each of my heads.
    ;) Dingo

  37. matty1 says

    I never thought of Jones’ style as really partisan. It’s more classic conspiracy theory a la David Ike in which all the ruling class are part of the plot to enslave humanity for the benefit of our lizardian overlords.

  38. birgerjohansson says

    I am surprised no one has mentioned the morphing capabilities of the Cyberdyne Systems T-1000.
    Looking pregnant is not a big challenge.
    We may not have the technology yet, but Skynet in the future has sent Michelle (and Barack the robot negro) to destroy the human race and pave the way for the Matrix.

  39. says

    With Alex Jones, there is no rock bottom.

    She doesn’t look like any black woman I’ve ever known … She’s got shoulders that are wider than a man’s, which physiologically doesn’t happen.

    Hmmm, this seems mighty untrue. First though is the Williams sisters.

  40. dugglebogey says

    If you are seeing gays and transgendered people everywhere you look, it’s not about them, it’s about YOU. Come out of the closet already Alex.

  41. dingojack says

    dugglebogey – ooooh noooo. Pointing out Alex’s clear near pathological obsession with ‘the ghay’ is clearly demonising gay people (rather than noting raging hypocrisy by Alex Jones and his ilk) because — well, because I say so – SO SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY!!!
    @@ Dingo

  42. Crimson Clupeidae says

    Somebody fetch this man a pickaxe, I suspect he’s got some more digging to do.

    “Rock Bottom” indeed. Oh ye of little faith.

  43. slavdude says

    Trebuchet @6:

    But he’s Just Asking Questions. How dare you criticize him.

    I guess that makes him a JAQ-ass.

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