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Jul 11 2014

Beck Channels Message From God to Flatter Audience

Glenn Beck is talking to God again and God is giving him messages for his listeners. And surprise, surprise, that message is: “You’re great. In fact, you’re going to save the world.” Apparently, God is a typical commencement speaker blowing sunshine up the grads’ asses.

As he declared on his program today, Beck’s audience currently has “an extraordinary opportunity to be people of light, to be a beacon of hope and courage” for all of humanity … and this is a message that has come directly from God.

“Mark my words,” Beck declared, “I have said things and made predictions on this program and I know the difference between me and Him and let me tell you, this is not coming from me. This is a global movement; you will be a source of light, of hope, and encouragement for all the world to see.”

18 comments

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  1. 1
    dugglebogey

    I’m sorry, but most people I know who are religious have very real faith in god, and NONE of them think they can speak for their deity.

    Glenn Beck is just a plain ordinary scam artist. How is it that reasonable people cannot see this? I can’t fathom it.

  2. 2
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Beck Channels Message From God ..

    No he doesnt.

  3. 3
    Alverant

    I guess God has a sense of humor. Of course if God did exist letting idiots like Beck speak for him is a very questionable decision.

  4. 4
    daved

    Are Beck and John Boehner having a contest to see which one can become the most orange?

  5. 5
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ Alverant : Assuming that’s what S/He’/It’d do – which is dubious.

    Even if there is* a God (which?) how could we ever tell Beck speaks for xhimrt?

  6. 6
    John Pieret

    Glenn Beck is just a plain ordinary scam artist. How is it that reasonable people cannot see this?

    Of course, that question presumes reasonable people actually watch/listen to his show (except, perhaps, for amusement’s sake).

  7. 7
    Marcus Ranum

    people of light

    Is that one of those super high-frequency racist dog-whistles?

  8. 8
    Trebuchet

    @6: Enough watch it to have made him very, very, wealthy.

  9. 9
    alanb

    I would not entirely rule out the possibility that Beck really does hear the voice of God in his head.

  10. 10
    Loqi

    …you will be a source of light, of hope, and encouragement for all the world to see.

    Odd. When I encounter Beck fans, “encouragement” is the opposite of what I feel.

    …I know the difference between me and Him…

    Congrats, Glenn. You are able to identify that you are a distinct entity, something infants learn around the time they stop trying to fit their feet in their mouths. I hope you learn that second part as well someday.

  11. 11
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^alan b: I would.

    Or, at least, I’d say the chances of that were 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% against.

  12. 12
    raven

    “an extraordinary opportunity to be people of light, to be a beacon of hope and courage” for all of humanity … and this is a message that has come directly from God.

    And how much is this extraordinary opportunity going to cost? Nothing is free in fundie xianity.

    and this is a message that has come directly from God.

    This is going to make the Mormon leaders a bit nervous. They already have a Pope who talks to god often, the Chief Prophet, Seer, and Revelator.

    They’ve had a problem with this before. There are about 100 Mormon schizmatic sects. It’s easy to be a prophet and set up a new religion.

    OTOH, as long as he is tithing some of his huge income, they won’t say anything. The Mormon leaders love money enough that the church is very wealthy.

  13. 13
    raven

    @6: Enough watch it to have made him very, very, wealthy.

    True.

    It’s also one of the myteries of the universe. Who listens to Glenn Beck much less takes him seriously?

    No one I know. Except one guy who is very old and deep into some sort of age related cognitive decline condition. Trying to figure out what he is saying is now a lost cause.

  14. 14
    d.c.wilson

    I’ve been of the opinion for a long time that Beck is setting himself up as the next great prophet of Mormonism to rival Joseph Smith and Bringham Young. I wouldn’t be surprised if he announced a break from LDS and the formation of his own church in the next few years.

  15. 15
    alanb

    @StevoR #11:

    You’re really that certain of Beck’s mental health? I’m not.

  16. 16
    raven

    I’ve been of the opinion for a long time that Beck is setting himself up as the next great prophet of Mormonism to rival Joseph Smith and Bringham Young.

    Maybe.

    It would be great, almost proof that the gods exist and have a sense of humor.

    OTOH, Beck doesn’t seem to plan or think. He just is and randomly says whatever pops into his head at any given time.

  17. 17
    dhall

    Maybe he will try to do just that. After all, he’s been saying for awhile now that he’s going to do something really big really soon. Church of Beck.

  18. 18
    Modusoperandi

    Flatter Audience, the Ayn Rand character?

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