Billy Graham’s Daughter: The End is Near!


Anne Graham Lotz has been talking to God. Okay, to the “holy spirit” (whatever that is). And apparently this holy spirit can only reach her when she’s being “quiet” and “listen[ing] to the whispers.” I don’t know why the holy spirit can’t speak in a full voice, but he’s allegedly telling her that the end is near.

While at home caring for my husband, I have had time to be quiet and listen more to the whispers of the Spirit. He has revealed things to me in the stillness that I’m not sure I would have heard in my former busyness. One of the things He has impressed on me is that we are living at the end of human history as we know it.

Well that’s original. We’ll add her to the astonishingly long list of people who have claimed the holy spirit was telling them the same thing for the past 2000 years. In fact, she kinda proves that point herself when she quotes Joel 2:

Blow the trumpet…sound the alarm…for the day of the Lord is coming. It is close at hand– Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God… Joel 2:1, 13

So the day of the lord as close at hand, what, 2500-3000 years ago? And this proves that it’s close at hand now? To quote Sarah Palin, you betcha.

Just recently, He has given me another assignment, which is to call His people in our nation to prayer.

This assignment came indirectly from a Syrian pastor through a National Day of Prayer attendee. In obedience, I am blowing the trumpet…sounding the alarm…issuing a national prayer initiative entitled 7 7 7: An Urgent Call to Prayer. The Call is for God’s people to pray for each of the first seven days in the seventh month—July 1-7. Then on the 7th day, July 7, we are to pray and fast for 7 hours.

Gotta love Christian numerology. And apparently the holy spirit stopped talking to her directly in “whispers” and spoke through someone else instead. Why couldn’t he just give her that assignment himself? I’m gonna take a stab in the dark here and surmise that she’s interpreting things without a shred of evidence. Shocking, I know.

For those who sign up, I will provide a prayer for each of the 7 days to help unite us in one spirit and one voice as we cry out to God.

That’s a great idea. You want to make sure everyone is saying the same prayer. If they start making up their own prayers, they might contradict and that might be like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.

Comments

  1. Randomfactor says

    the end of human history as we know it.

    And the beginning of human history in which her iron-age mythology is obsolete.

    And I feel fine.

  2. dingojack says

    Billy Graham’s Daughter: The End is Near!

    And she wasted her whole life following a barbaric, iron-age religion! What a complete waste of a life.

    ;) Dingo

  3. garnetstar says

    Since “near” has now been demonstrated to mean “at least 2000 years”, I’m not moving this up on my list of things to worry about. In fact, it is on the bottom.

  4. raven says

    For those who sign up, I will provide a prayer for each of the 7 days to help unite us in one spirit and one voice as we cry out to God.

    1. Oh Cthulhu, how much is that going to cost. Being a prophet is expensive you know. You have no idea how much money babbling like a loon can require.

    2. Translating from Fundiespeak to English:

    If you sign up, your email box is going to be full of spam and pleas for more money until jesus shows up (i.e. forever) or you bounce them to the spam folder.

  5. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Maybe she’s thinking geologically near? You know the last few million years or so?

    Way were going we may not even last the next century.

    Although science suggests the likely causes of our geologically even just maybe historically imminent~ish ending are far different than what I imagine she imagines.

  6. cptdoom says

    Maybe she’s thinking geologically near? You know the last few million years or so?

    Well, looking at it from the perspective of the age of the known universe, we are closer to the time of the sun’s demise than to the Big Bang, so she’s technically correct.

    But aren’t we supposed to be thrilled that the end is near? After all, this corrupt and sinful world will be purified when their god finally comes back, right? Isn’t that a good thing to them?

  7. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Way we’re (we are) going I meant.

    Y’know because of the Global Overheating phenonema they often don’t believe in.

  8. anubisprime says

    The End is Near

    One of the things He has impressed on me is that we are living at the end of human history as we know it.

    Yes indeed that rationality and secular education is a… be…atchhhh!…live with it!

  9. raven says

    The End is Near

    Hopefully, the End is Near for her fundie perversion of xianity.

    They are losing members and money, steadily year after year.

    And lately, the fundies have managed to further alienate huge groups of the American people. Most of the opposition to the recent Supreme court atrocity on contraception was from…other xians.

    I’d like to think that the uglier they get, the fewer of them there are. It’s likely but not entirely proven.

  10. dingojack says

    Earth’s end is near alright — about 149.6 million kilometres distant.
    Dingo

  11. eric says

    @8 – my thought exactly. And you know what? I’m sure the Graham family would’ve been exactly the people to say that 50-100 years ago.

  12. grumpyoldfart says

    She tells a tale about god promising her that the world is about to end.

    Then she organises a prayerfest calling on god not to end the world.

    And when the world doesn’t end, she can strut across the Christian stage saying, “Look at me. Look at how god obeys my every command. He was going to end everything and I stopped him. I am the greatest Christian ever!”

  13. Artor says

    She’s right, we ARE living at the end of human history as we know it. Because history ends at the present. Past that, it becomes the future. Okay everyone, the end of history is right…NOW! No, wait, it’s right…NOW! Aww, fuck it!

  14. alanb says

    Artor,

    I think what she means is the God is going to do a mind wipe and burn all the history books so that history won’t exist any more.

  15. whheydt says

    Actually…she’s sort of correct. She’s just mis-hearing the message a bit. Probably because it was whispered. The end IS near…but it’s the end of Billy Graham, not the world.

  16. busterggi says

    grumpy @ 15. : Yes she’ll say that and she’ll do so in her most humble way possible like a good bible-obeying Christian woman should.

  17. Michael Heath says

    There’s a mosquito circling me right now. It’s demonstrated more power in the past few seconds than the Christian god has ever demonstrated.

  18. imthegenieicandoanything says

    Now she want’s to put the bite on us again! Throw her a dime and tell her to hit the road.

  19. chuckonpiggott says

    They are going to fast for 7 hours? That is what I call commitment.
    Pretend you’re praying, close your eyes. Snooze for 7 hours. Got that out of the way.

  20. dingojack says

    Meanwhile Muslims fast for 12(ish) hours between sunrise and sunset — it’s called Ramadan. Christian pikers!
    :) Dingo

  21. jnorris says

    Will someone please introduce the holy spirit to Hallmark and get it a calendar.

    And anne mariehovgaard @ # 22, I’m going with COVINGTON® gourmet vodka. It’s made in North Carolina (Billy’s home state) from sweet potatoes and one can’t smell it on her breathe.

  22. says

    Born into a family of 3G’s*, it’s no surprise that she’s mastered the art of offering snakeoil that doesn’t even have any snakeoil in it to the roobz, in exchange for their filthy lucre.

    What amazes me is that she’s done all of this stuff without having to clear it all through her owne–, um, I mean husband, Dr. Dan Lotz. or the other males in her family.

    It’s tragic when KKKristian women defy the GODLY bonds of their apron strings and maternity dresses!

    I used to commune with the spirits but I stick to beer, these days.

    * GOD’s Greatest Grifters

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