Quantcast

«

»

Jul 03 2014

Barber: Satan is Behind Gay Marriage

Matt Barber and Mat Staver had their usual conversation during their radio show about how gay people are evil and the idea of gay marriage comes from Satan. And all advocates of marriage equality are “doing the bidding of the Devil.” The punchline: they actually believe it.

“Marriage is the cornerstone institution of any healthy society,” Barber asserted, “and so clearly the Father of Lies, the Enemy of the World hates marriage, wants to destroy marriage and so this concept of counterfeit marriage, of same-sex marriage, that is the brainchild, Mat, of none other than the Father of Lies himself.”

Staver was in complete agreement, saying that gay marriage is an effort to “abolish all truth” as part of Satan’s “attack on God.”

“Ultimately, at the end of the day,” Staver said, “it is a spiritual attack … This is the bidding of the Devil. This is a spiritual assault on all of us who are made in the image of God.”

Wait, I thought everyone was supposed to be made in the image of God? Shit. I’m sorry. I was momentarily expecting some consistency from these delusional dullards. You know what I think? I think they’re doing the bidding of Cthulhu.

18 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    Alex

    Once there was a time when F=ma, the earth went around the sun and water was wet. Alas, no more! Gay marriage has wronged all truths. Fair is foul, and foul is fair!

  2. 2
    birgerjohansson

    “Marriage is the cornerstone institution of any healthy society,”

    Actually, reciprocal altruism is the cornerstone of a healthy society. Once you have that, you can go on to form families, invent the wheel or whatever.

  3. 3
    birgerjohansson

    “none other than the Father of Lies himself.”

    No, you do not get to blame this on me! I stay the hell away from North America precisely because the continent is detrimental to the function of deities (see Gaiman’s “American Gods”).

  4. 4
    richardelguru

    “Satan is Behind Gay Marriage”

    Oh! That Satan, he’s such a bugger…

  5. 5
    dingojack

    “Satan is Behind Gay Marriage”
    He likes to throw the rice when the grooms (or brides) leave the church, the ol’ softy*
    Dingo
    ——–
    * Besides he doesn’t want to be seen crying (he always cries at weddings).

  6. 6
    dugglebogey

    I can hardly comprehend the narcissism of these people.

    Do they even consider it as a possibility that gay people just want to marry each other, not launch a geo-political war on their religious bullshit rules?

    THEY are the ones being obstructionist here, not the other way around. Holy shit these people think the world revolves around their stupid superstitions.

  7. 7
    Randomfactor

    Obviously Satan owns a chain of gay-friendly honeymoon resorts.

  8. 8
    karmacat

    So, the only way satan can attack god is through gay marriage? These people really believe in such puny and pathetic gods

  9. 9
    cptdoom

    …so clearly the Father of Lies, the Enemy of the World hates marriage, wants to destroy marriage and so this concept of counterfeit marriage, of same-sex marriage,…

    And that Satan is a nefarious (pardon the pun) devil. His plot is so underhanded, it’s brilliant. You destroy marriage by letting more people get married! Divorce doesn’t do it, infidelity doesn’t do it, but wedding cakes (baked only by non-”Christian” bakers, of course) with two grooms or two brides? That’s going to undermine the very basis of civilization, of course.

  10. 10
    Pen

    Given that in fundie-speak ‘The Father of Lies’ just means evidence-based rational thinking, they may have a point.

  11. 11
    Mobius

    Cthulhu fhtagn!

  12. 12
    dingojack

    Mobius – Cthulhu only does funerals*.
    Dingo
    ——–
    * (and then only if there’s a decent wake)

  13. 13
    Modusoperandi

    For the embodiment of evil, he sure is at the forefront of an awful lot of civil rights movements.

  14. 14
    John Pieret

    This devil fellow is quite clever. He makes people like Barber and Staver so stupid that they say hateful and dumb things about same sex marriage to the point that most Americans now see how unfair it all is and begin supporting same sex marriage. Of course, he doesn’t seem to have worked out how same sex marriage will destroy civilization but you can’t have everything!

  15. 15
    chilidog99

    If we are all in the image of God, God must be a hermaphrodite.

    Does God have a belly button?

    Does God have hair growing on his back?

  16. 16
    chilidog99

    Does God have nipples?

  17. 17
    busterggi

    “I think they’re doing the bidding of Cthulhu.”

    No, Cthulhu causes madness, he himself isn’t mad. You’re comfusing him with Michael Savage.

  18. 18
    noe1951

    So, they’ve been communing with Satan? How else could they know what Satan wants? Hmmmmmm, could it be…

Leave a Reply

Switch to our mobile site