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Jun 24 2014

Bigot Delivers Anti-Gay Rant at City Council

The city of Sterling Heights, Michigan just passed an ordinance banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity and expression. One local resident, who said he represented a group called the Vanguard of Christ the King, delivered this almost delightfully idiotic rant to the city council against the ordinance.

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  1. 1
    A Masked Avenger

    Whelp, I’m convinced.

    “If someone drove up to a gas station, and put a gas pump in the radiator, everyone of you would say there was something wrong with him. The gas pump does not belong in the radiator!

    “Or if someone is in the lunchroom, and put a banana in his ear–instead of his mouth!–every one of you would say there was something wrong with him!”

  2. 2
    A Masked Avenger

    Unfortunately at the end the speaker undermines his own credibility, after an otherwise masterful showing, by admitting that his fondest wish was to “lick the hide off of” the mayor. Perhaps if he felt free to lick the man of his choosing, he wouldn’t be sublimating with all this anti-gay aggression.

  3. 3
    matty1

    I love a good coffee and would never normally advocate against it but this guy really, really needs to switch to decaff.

  4. 4
    Nick Gotts

    Perhaps if he felt free to lick the man of his choosing, he wouldn’t be sublimating with all this anti-gay aggression. – A Masked Avenger@2

    Yup, predictable as the tides, out comes the old “all-homophobes-are-closeted-gays” homophobic crap.

  5. 5
    plainenglish

    It is obvious to any honest person. Mister Mayor, you can’t stand the truth! By golly, that is some right good TV show, that one. Thank our dear stripey stars that is isn’t real. What a world that would be…. What? It is real?
    Oh shit.

  6. 6
    Wes Aaron

    Before watching. Get some rubber boots and sturdy shovel.

  7. 7
    roggg

    To be perfectly honest. I feel sorry for the guy. To get so riled up about where other people put their bananas… In a world that is rapidly becoming more accepting, he must feel utterly powerless to do anything but rage about it. Poor guy.

  8. 8
    A Masked Avenger

    Yup, predictable as the tides, out comes the old “all-homophobes-are-closeted-gays” homophobic crap.

    I mocked his threat to “lick the hide off of you.” Sue me. Also, fuck off. Any implication that homophobes ACTUALLY are closeted gays is purely your own invention.

  9. 9
    throwaway, never proofreads, every post a gamble

    “All men are created equal… except when they’re not part of the same human nature.” Who the fuck is he to determine that homosexuality isn’t human nature? There isn’t even a black and white spectrum of attraction like these people fancifully imagine.

    And it never crosses his mind that lesbians are sticking ungodly things precisely where a penis should have been there all the way to climax for the purpose of procreation whilst only in the missionary position with the lights off and no talking… So much for his radiator analogy.

  10. 10
    Trebuchet

    I refuse to click. It’s too early in the morning.

  11. 11
    Modusoperandi

    “Thank you for your comments. You, sir, are why we can’t have nice things.”

  12. 12
    throwaway, never proofreads, every post a gamble

    A Masked Avenger:

    I mocked his threat to “lick the hide off of you.” Sue me. Also, fuck off. Any implication that homophobes ACTUALLY are closeted gays is purely your own invention.

    It did read like the standard stereotypical closeted homophobe trope. No implication required. You’re saying he wants to lick a man but can’t so he becomes hyper-defensive about it and goes on an anti-gay rant. You can’t get any closer to the definition of the trope than that.

  13. 13
    Sastra

    Hey, anti-gay bigot even slips in something against atheists:

    …the idea that all men are created equal means equal in the sense and only in the sense that they share the same human nature and all the rights inherent to that nature – such as the right to life – and all the obligations inherent to that nature – such as the obligation of all men to recognize and acknowledge God as their creator and Supreme Being TO WHOM ALL MEN INCLUDING ATHEISTS ARE SUBJECT.

    Yeah. Prove it. First demonstrate that God exists and then justify where the obligation to give a crap what God thinks comes from (and you can’t just say “God” because that’s the issue under dispute.)

    If God tells you to put a banana in your ear, do you refuse because that’s not what the ear was made for? Maybe this guy would be pacified if gay people all start claiming that God came into their hearts and told them to be gay. And He’s the boss.

  14. 14
    A Masked Avenger

    It did read like the standard stereotypical closeted homophobe trope. No implication required. You’re saying he wants to lick a man but can’t so he becomes hyper-defensive about it and goes on an anti-gay rant. You can’t get any closer to the definition of the trope than that.

    Granted. I apologize without reservation for saying something that contributes to the problem of homophobia by gay-baiting that homophobe. I realize that having “good intentions” doesn’t mitigate that I was not helping.

  15. 15
    Modusoperandi

    There’s no need to apologize. He’s clearly a closeted, suppressed hobosexual. There’s a reason he goes on and on about “those people” “riding the rails” and “making soup from boot leather”. Why, I bet he’s got a bindle hidden in his attic and everything!

  16. 16
    A Masked Avenger

    I want a bindle. In the past I’ve carried my lunch to work in a furoshiki, but I felt terribly un-American, and you’ve shown me the light.

  17. 17
    Doc Bill

    The gas pump does not belong in the radiator!

    Wow, you just can’t argue against logic like that. I think he’d make a good veep for Huckabee.

  18. 18
    Moon Jaguar

    This sad little man believes he’s representing the creator of the universe as the Vanguard of Christ the King.

    I can’t imagine a deity wanting or needing a wild-eyed yahoo with veins popping from his head, seething with hatred and shaking his fist, to defend him.

  19. 19
    stewartt1982

    I want a bindle. In the past I’ve carried my lunch to work in a furoshiki, but I felt terribly un-American, and you’ve shown me the light.

    While the “I’m too busy doing science to shave”-beard that I’m currently sporting is rather hobo-chic, I would rather use the furoshiki. The contrast between tomorrows cute bento box and my shabbiness will be jarring.

  20. 20
    leskimopie

    I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT EQUALITY MEANS, ALSO WHILE BANANAS ARE NOT EQUAL TO SMURFS, AND CRIME IS NOT EQUAL TO BUBBLE GUM, YELLING IS EQUAL TO EFFECTIVE ARGUMENTATION!

  21. 21
    marcus

    @14 I thought it was funny. Not gay-baiting but laughing at the unintended double-entendre and all the fury behind it. But then I have a weird sense of humor.

  22. 22
    lldayo

    What a perfect time for a water balloon volley from the back of the audience.

  23. 23
    garnetstar

    This fool has missed the boat: same-sex marriage has been declared a constitutional right in Michigan. Although that’s under appeal (or something, there are so many that I’ve forgotten), that’s where it currently is.

    No, I take that back: this guy probably knows that, but has filtered out any reality that may threaten his delusion.

  24. 24
    gingerbaker

    “Yup, predictable as the tides, out comes the old “all-homophobes-are-closeted-gays” homophobic crap.”

    And here comes the old “all tropes are false” crap.

    The reason homophobes are closeted gays trope became a trope is because so many of the outspoken homophobes who really were closeted gays were unmasked. And the hypothesis that the trope makes psychological sense is supposedly valid.

    But who knows?

  25. 25
    ragarth

    If sticking gas pumps in radiators played Yellow Submarine by the Beatles then I’d imagine a lot of people would be doing that too.

  26. 26
    dogfightwithdogma

    A more powerful example of hatred and bigotry wrapped in religion’s clothing and denying that it is hatred and bigotry I can honestly say I have not seen. A more persuasive example of why anti-discrimination laws are necessary I can honestly say I have not seen.

  27. 27
    hunter

    OK — he’s stupid and boring. I got that in the first 90 seconds.

    Does anyone else think he comes across like he’d been drinking? A lot?

  28. 28
    oranje

    Nice to have such a long video to see what the past looks like.

  29. 29
    Crimson Clupeidae

    So, when can we expect this fine upstanding citizen to get the nod from the GOP to run for whatever vacancy they have available? He’s a shoe-in!

  30. 30
    tiko

    That guy in the second row pretty much sums up what I think of this bigot.

  31. 31
    congenital cynic

    I figure that this man’s rant handily demonstrates Hitchins’ statement that “religion poisons everything”. Sure has poisoned this old codger. I haven’t heard a hateful, vicious, illogical rant of this kind in a very long time. But even as I squished the banana into my ear, I could feel the Christian Love ® emanating from the man.

    On a more serious note, he left me wondering about something. He said that a penis was for reproduction. This confused me. I always thought it was mostly for fun, for giving pleasure to the owner and the partner, for use in the bonding process with one’s mate, and getting those oxytocin rushes that enhance the whole bonding thing, and only rarely for producing an additional offspring. I mean really, after we have had all of the children we want (n, where n = 0, 1, 2, …) are we supposed to just sublimate the libido to rant at council meetings about Jesus? That would suck. My wife was so fertile I’d have had all of our kids in about a dozen shags, and that would have sucked a lot.

    And speaking of sucking, given that he said a penis didn’t belong in a mouth, I’m guessing he has never been on the receiving end of fellatio. When I was a university student I worked on a bridge construction crew one summer, and our crew boss was an older gentlemen. He was a really nice man, but he couldn’t get his mind around the idea that oral sex was anything but dirty. I felt sorry for him. Married more than 30 years, and not one blow job. Not one sniff or taste of his wife’s vulva. I guess sexual repression is just part of their whole shtick. I guess when you are constantly repressing one of the most powerful human drives, you stand a pretty good chance of becoming an angry grouch.

  32. 32
    Chuck

    I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear him. I have a banana in my ear.

  33. 33
    Nick Gotts

    The reason homophobes are closeted gays trope became a trope is because so many of the outspoken homophobes who really were closeted gays were unmasked. – gingerbaker

    Oh really? What percentage of prominent homophobes have been so unmasked? Because we wouldn’t want to rely on anecdotes rather than high quality data, would we? Especially when there’s an obvious reason any story about a well-known homophobe discovered to be “having his luggage lifted” by another man will be extensively reported – hypocrisy is always a good story.

    And the hypothesis that the trope makes psychological sense is supposedly valid.

    Evidence? I’m aware of one study from 1996, with a relatively small sample (64 subjects in all), that claimed expressed homophobia among men correlated with a physical reaction to male homosexual erotica. This one study has been cited hundreds of times, but AFAIK, never replicated. And here is something written by the author of the study, Henry E. Adams:

    Another explanation of these data is found in Barlow, Sakheim, and Beck’s ( 1983) theory of the role of anxiety and attention in sexual responding. It is possible that viewing homosexual stimuli causes negative emotions such as anxiety in homophobic men but not in nonhomophobic men. Because anxiety has been shown to enhance arousal and erection, this theory would predict increases in erection in homophobic men. Furthermore, it would indicate that a response to homosexual stimuli is a function of the threat condition rather than sexual arousal per se. Whereas difficulties of objectively evaluating psychoanalytic hypotheses are well-documented, these approaches would predict that sexual arousal is an intrinsic response to homosexual stimuli, whereas Barlow’s (1986 ) theory would predict that sexual arousal to homosexual stimuli by homophobic individuals is a function of anxiety. These competing po[si]tions can and should be evaluated by future research.

    Now given the very limited evidence that there is any general link between homophobia and repressed homosexuality, why is the trope trotted out practically every time Ed produces an egregious example of homophobic bigotry? The effect is homophobic, but the motivation is a puzzle.

  34. 34
    Michael Heath

    YouTube’s closed captions were pretty funny. “Supreme being” was transferred into “soup cream”. I’ll have some of the latter please.

  35. 35
    sabrekgb

    “Men, being both male and female, are not equal in gender.”

    Deep, man…deep.

  36. 36
    had3

    Why does he care if someone sticks a banana in their own ear? As a banana salesman, I would encourage the maximum placement of bananas. Why does he hate capitalism? He hates ‘merica!

  37. 37
    matty1

    @33 As someone guilty in the past, though I am trying not to repeat I think the motivation is simple. Hypocrisy is funny and we prefer to see our opponents as funny than take them seriously.

  38. 38
    escuerd

    I have no idea what he has against bananas in the ear. Perhaps if this song would help him understand it better:

  39. 39
    escuerd

    Ugh. Well I was trying to link to the time 3m26s in that video. I really need to start remembering that any Youtube link I post will just embed. Sorry about that.

  40. 40
    Nick Gotts

    matty1@37,

    Well it occurred to me that attributing hypocrisy to homophobes (whether its considered merely funny, or contemptible, or both) could be the answer, but don’t you need at least some evidence that the specific target is a hypocrite? We live in a homophobic society – especially those of us brought up in fundamentalist communities – so you don’t need to posit any causal factor for homophobia other than people’s tendency to believe what they are told, and to find disgusting what they are told, as children, is disgusting. This ought to be obvious to most people making such comments here. You don’t see the equivalent with regard to bigots fulminating about atheists, for example – at least, not with anything close to the same near-inevitability every time the subject comes up.

  41. 41
    democommie

    Sticking bananas in radiators is a very bad idea.

    Once the banana is heated sufficiently it will swell and burst out of its skin, filling your radiator with a nasty mash that could seriously inhibit the radiators designed functionality.

    Sticking a penis in an orifice other than a vagina (excluding the pickle slicer*) otoh will generally not lead to serious damage to either the penis of the orifice–absent stupidity or violence**.

    I would not say that the ranter is a homosexualhomophobe; I would say that he has a completely fucked-up take on human sexuality.

    * A joke that goes back to the dawn of industrialization of the pickling business.

    ** I have not put a banana in anyone’s radiator or vice versa.

  42. 42
    democommie

    For the edification of my fellow commenters who might like to explore the culinary possibilities of their Chrysler product:

    http://www.amazon.com/Manifold-Destiny-Guide-Cooking-Engine/dp/1416596232

    Not suitable for soufflé’s, meringues or yeast raised baked goods.

  43. 43
    dingojack

    Demo – is it suitable for salt bread?
    Dingo

  44. 44
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    http://phillylawblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/grampa05.gif

    We can’t bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m’shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we… oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn’t have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…

  45. 45
    ildi

    What percentage of prominent homophobes have been so unmasked?

    80 percent. Bananas were designed BY GOD to perfectly fit a man’s hand. QED

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