Glenn Beck is Turning Into a Butterfly


The terminally melodramatic Glenn Beck has penned another of his typically over-the-top bits of brooding while on a plane with everyone else sleeping. It reminds me a lot of those fundraising emails that begin “It’s 3 am and I can’t sleep because God has put a burden on my heart” or some such rot. But he assures us all that he is in the middle of an amazing transformation and will soon escape his cocoon.

I am in the final phase, I think, of a massive transformation. One that will take me to rough terrain, uncharted landscape and lonely woods. This may end up being the biggest and most important challenge of my life.

Lead by that still small voice always and simply, questioning, condemning and empowering with love and truth. I have challenged myself to let go of my anger and hurt and instead see others pain, need, confusion and hurt.

I want to be a better man. A much better man.

It is hard.

Sometimes it’s too hard, because I hurt or I am tired or honestly, sometimes I just want to be angry.

“I have a right!” I think to myself.

The country I love is washing ashore in bits and pieces. Dashed intentionally on the rocks by fools and knaves. The flames of hate rages. Fires started by those who just want power or money. Only to have the flames fanned by those of us who were sometimes duped, sometimes trusting “our side” and honestly, sometimes too tired, lazy or unwilling to challenge what we WANT to believe because it allows us to escape that condemning voice about the role we played.

I want to be a better man. A better husband, father and friend.

Life moves so fast. So many fires. I try to put one out and three more appear.

“How Lord? Why Lord?” I pray/wrestle. “I want to do what you want me to do, but I am not smart enough to figure out how to get from here to there.”

“Tell me! What do you want me to do! I will do it, but just tell me!”

Am I the only one who hears the echoes of Vespasian, minus the sarcasm: “Oh dear, I think I am becoming a God.” This kind of narcissism just amuses the hell out of me. He declares himself so brave and so humble as he enters “rough terrain, uncharted landscape and lonely woods.” But don’t worry, he is well prepared for “biggest and most important challenge of my life” because God is on his side and he on God’s side. Such courage.

Comments

  1. Artor says

    And spiders. Birds, and big, hairy, bird-eating spiders who aren’t to picky to munch on an occasional butterfly or two.

  2. Mr Ed says

    One morning, as Gregor Samsa Glenn Beck was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that, in his bed, he had been changed into a monstrous vermin.

  3. D. C. Sessions says

    Somehow I don’t think that this heroic risk he’s about to take stands any chance of leaving him destitute and worrying about feeding his family.

    Unlike what half the people in the USA deal with daily.

    He’s so brave!

  4. dingojack says

    So Glenny is the grub? (birds or spiders would be appropriate).
    So what’s next Glenny, a form that doesn’t eat but just has sex? A form that lives only a day then becomes food for scavengers and detritivores?
    I can hardly wait. @@
    Dingo

  5. Kevin Kehres says

    Glenn: I spoke with god this morning and he wants you to stop believing in him.

    “Figure it out for yourself. As for myself, I don’t give a shit.” That’s what he said.

  6. raven says

    Meaningless drivel. Beck just babbles on like this constantly, and there is never any followup. It’s instantly forgotten by him and his fans and followers.

    Beck isn’t acting.

    Long before he became famous, rich, poltical, or Mormon, he was having wild mood swings. His mother showed some unusual traits and is thought to have committed suicide.

  7. busterggi says

    “I want to be a better man. A much better man.
    It is hard.”

    No its not, almost everyone I know is a better man than Beck including women, dogs and cats.

  8. jnorris says

    Why won’t Mr Beck just build his Independence USA walled city and lock himself inside for our protection?

  9. Artor says

    @busterggi
    …and rocks, and tapeworms, and small squishy green things from Betelgeuse.

  10. lldayo says

    Who hasn’t posted weird shit on the internet in the middle of the night after several shots of SoCo?

  11. Trebuchet says

    So Glenny is the grub? (birds or spiders would be appropriate).

    Worm. He’s always been a worm.

  12. D. C. Sessions says

    His mother showed some unusual traits and is thought to have committed suicide.

    If you had a son like Glenn, wouldn’t you?

  13. raven says

    Who hasn’t posted weird shit on the internet in the middle of the night after several shots of SoCo?

    I don’t know what SoCo is but it probably takes more than that.

    Beck used to be a heavy marijuana and cocaine user.

    It depends on the individual but try Tequila, marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, mix and match to personal requirements. Not that I’m advising anyone to try this, mind you. Drug abuse can be a hazard to your health, life, and is sometimes fatal. There is an outside chance you could end up imitating…Glenn Beck, at least temporarily.

  14. Johnny Vector says

    Don’t worry, Glenn. The woods are just trees. The trees are just wood. I sort of hate to ask it,
    But do you have a basket?

    Sorry, what? Were we supposed to be in reality? I just kind of figured he was about ready to break into song.

  15. Pierce R. Butler says

    Glenn Beck will always be a creepy-crawly to me.

    raven @ # 15: I don’t know what SoCo is but it probably takes more than that.

    I think lldayo alludes to a beverage known as Southern Comfort, about the quality of which little can be done but quantity can always be increased until a point of sufficiency.

  16. matty1 says

    And God answered “What I’d really like you to do Glenn is shut the fuck up, also stop with the wrestling analogies we’ve never even met in person and frankly your keenness to grab hold of a me and throw me to the ground is more than a bit creepy”

  17. grumpyoldfart says

    “How Lord? Why Lord?” I pray/wrestle. “I want to do what you want me to do, but I am not smart enough to figure out how to get from here to there.”

    “Tell me! What do you want me to do! I will do it, but just tell me!”

    That’s one of religion’s main attractions. The believers don’t have to take responsibility for their actions. Sure, if things go well, they have to give the glory to god. But when things go wrong they can say, “It’s not my fault. I’m just doing as the Lord commands. It’s all part of his master plan. Nothing to do with me.”

    Not a bad cop-out for someone with a fragile ego.

  18. says

    His last transformation was turning into the moon. Can’t wait to see what’s next.

    I really think he’s angling to become the next prophet after Joseph Smith.

  19. abb3w says

    The headline seems a little too reminiscent of themes from “Silence of the Lambs” for comfort.

  20. says

    abb3w “The headline seems a little too reminiscent of themes from “Silence of the Lambs” for comfort.”
    The Too Close for Comfort spin-off?

  21. Richard Smith says

    One that will take me to rough terrain, uncharted landscape and lonely woods.

    That makes it harder for authorities to find the bodies.

  22. dingojack says

    Ah ha! So that’s where he buried all those teenagers in the 80’s. It all begins to make sense ….
    ;) Dingo

  23. naturalcynic says

    @grumpy 20: <blockquoteThat’s one of religion’s main attractions. The believers don’t have to take responsibility for their actions. Sure, if things go well, they have to give the glory to god. But when things go wrong they can say, “It’s not my fault. I’m just doing as the Lord commands. It’s all part of his master plan. Nothing to do with me.” That narcissist, when things do go his way, will feel that he is someone special – appointed from on high as a true prophet.

  24. Michael Heath says

    I am seeing a change in Glenn Beck. His lips are becoming increasingly red.

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