Catholic Church Wants to Sue Over Jesus Commercial


Just in case you had the idea that the Catholic Church couldn’t get any more ridiculous than it already is, think again. The Archdiocese of Rio, Brazil, is threatening to sue the Italian soccer team because they made a commercial that included a Jesus statue in a soccer uniform.

Days before England play Italy in their first match at the World Cup, the Italians are in hot water in Brazil for a television commercial in which Rio de Janeiro’s iconic Christ the Redeemer statue is dressed in a giant Italian football shirt.

The Catholic Church in Brazil says the digitally-manipulated advertisement, which is running as a trailer for the competition on Italy’s state broadcaster, Rai, is disrespectful and inappropriate.

The 30-second video shows children dressed in the blue shirt of the “Azzurri” (Italy’s national team) scoring goals during games of street football and ends with an image of the towering statue of Christ wearing a number 10 shirt with the word “Italia” written across the shoulders. “Brazil awaits us”, the advertisement says.

The Archdiocese of Rio has threatened to sue the Italian broadcaster for between 15 and 21 million real (£4 million – £6 million) in damages, promising to give the money to charity if it wins the case.

“The Archdiocese is deeply offended,” Rodrigo Grazioli, a lawyer for the Brazilian Church, told O Globo newspaper.

Great. Now if you could explain why anyone should be a shit that you’re offended, someone might actually care. Seriously, you think you can sue a company in another country on behalf of a fucking statue?

Comments

  1. Michael Heath says

    Ed writes:

    Seriously, you think you can sue a company in another country on behalf of a fucking statue?

    This is an unfair characterization of the Archdiocese of Brazil. They’re not suing on behalf of the statue, but instead on behalf of Jesus, their god. The Archdiocese needs to bring the suit because their god remains too powerless to reveal his existence, so they have to speak on this supposed god’s behalf.

    So I’d like to see this suit filed and have the judge throw it out on standing grounds. That’s because the supposed victim isn’t complaining.

  2. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Pretty sure Jesus wasn’t the suing type – more into forgiveness than lawyers.

    In fact he was so forgiving, I’m pretty sure he even forgave lawyers!

    So ..

    Who would Jesus sue?

    If anyone I reckon those who used his name as an excuse to do the reverse of what he taught and hate on the poor and hate their neighbours.

    Course I can’t claim that I know Jesus , that would be a horror ‘frain, he did make some observations, can I quote a man today …

  3. says

    Them eyetalyns are maroonz. Everbody KNOWS that JESUS is too busy with Timmy Tebow and the NFL (not to mention NBA and MLB* to bother with that sissy “sport”, soccer!

    * Hockey, Lacrosse and Rugby seem to be pretty much atheohomo sports.

  4. Artor says

    The Archdiocese of Rio can shove that giant statue deeply up their collective ass. And collectively, the church is a HUGE ass, so I’m sure it will fit.

  5. D. C. Sessions says

    Is this the Catholic version of the Danish Mohommed cartoons? Predictably wimpy, BTW — where are the riots in Italian streets? Of course, only Catholics would be offended so there may not be enough of them in Italy to get a good riot together. Especially during World Cup.

    However, if the Brazilians think that putting Italian football uniforms on statues is offensive, I have some news: look online and pretty soon you’re likely to see that fucking statue — yup, you got it.

  6. says

    File this as a classic “get a life” example. I presume the archdiocesan bishop has nothing else to worry about.

  7. blf says

    A mind-bogglingly corrupt authoritarian monopoly suing someone broadcasting a mind-bogglingly corrupt false spectacle staged by a corrupt authoritarian monopoly?

    Yawn. Hopefully both mind-bogglingly corrupt monopolies will exterminate each other.

  8. Nihilismus says

    It sounds like these Catholic Brazilians are treating this graven image as some kind of idol.

  9. says

    They better hope they don’t lose.*

     
    * Matt 5:40 “If any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.”

  10. abusedbypenguins says

    A little cat-lic temper tantrum. Mohammad in an Italian soccer jersey would be much more interesting and entertaining.

  11. zenlike says

    Strangely enough, Brazil did more or less the same, but in real-life to the real statue, 4 years ago; from Wiki:

    During the unveiling of the restored statue, it was illuminated with green and yellow lighting in support of the Brazil national football team playing in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.[17]

    No word of the Brazilian branch of the RCC complaining then. Double standards? Hypocrisy? Just the usual modus operandi of the RCC I guess…

  12. says

    zenlike “No word of the Brazilian branch of the RCC complaining then.”
    Look, everybody knows that 900 Foot Tall Jesus loves everyone. He just loves Team Brazil more.

  13. caseloweraz says

    I’d like to hear what Pope Francis has to say about this. I suspect he’s already weighed in, but privately. Suing over perceived disrespect looks like a bad idea to me. If the Archdiocese has standing to do so, anyone who feels offended by the doctrines of Christianity does also.

  14. says

    caseloweraz “I’d like to hear what Pope Francis has to say about this.”
    “You shut upa your mouths! Eesa really quite simple. While I the Popa haffa to stay neutral, Jesus isa onna side ofa Argentina.”

  15. dukeofomnium says

    I read recently that RCC actually holds the intellectual property rights to the statue of Cristo Redentor. This could simply be a trademark infringement suit. Or, more precisely, an attempt to stifle speech the RCC doesn’t like in the guise of a trademark infringement suit.

  16. Trebuchet says

    Everbody KNOWS that JESUS is too busy with Timmy Tebow and the NFL (not to mention NBA and MLB* to bother with that sissy “sport”, soccer!

    You’ve omitted NASCAR. And Professional Bull Riding, where they wear crosses on their helmets and kneel after falling off.

    @14: The pope is, of course, an Argentine of Italian descent! And lives in Italy. He’s probably rooting for the Azzurri.

  17. D. C. Sessions says

    I read recently that RCC actually holds the intellectual property rights to the statue of Cristo Redentor.

    The RCC or the local diocese? The Church has been pretty careful lately to keep the lower levels distinct to limit liability.

    They’re doing some pretty impressive straining at gnats to keep it that way, too — claiming that the Church of Rome doesn’t have a hand in personnel assignments, for instance. However, I don’t think anyone’s going to push too hard on that (despite it being good enough for one of Ed’s “stupid legal tricks” columns) as long as there are five Catholics on the SCOTUS who vote as a bloc (and at least one other who can’t be counted on.)

  18. says

    “You’ve omitted NASCAR. And Professional Bull Riding, where they wear crosses on their helmets and kneel after falling off.”

    Point taken, but the NASCAR guys do backflips offa their cars after they win, no kneeling that I’ve seen…and those bullriders? They’re not kneeling while their still in the dirt with a pissed-off 8000K

  19. says

    “You’ve omitted NASCAR. And Professional Bull Riding, where they wear crosses on their helmets and kneel after falling off.”

    Point taken, but the NASCAR guys do backflips offa their cars after they win, no kneeling that I’ve seen…and those bullriders? They’re not kneeling while their still in the dirt with a pissed-off, psychotic 8000K X Quarter Pounder trying to make them a garnish–talk about “Ye of little faith”.

  20. Nick Gotts says

    Of course they’re offended: you can see that statue is just getting ready to applaud when Brazil win the final!

  21. Trebuchet says

    Should be 8K, not 8000K (like it fucking matters).

    8000K? That’s a lotta bull!

    And yes, I have actually seen one start praying too soon and get interrupted.

  22. vereverum says

    As #8 mentions, it’s a graven image which is strictly forbidden by Ex 20:4. The whole point of the commandment is so things like this don’t happen.

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