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Jun 10 2014

Pope: Pray for Peace in the Middle East

Pope Francis has a brilliant new idea for how to bring peace to the middle east. No one in the entire history of the world has ever thought of this idea that is sure to change the world completely and bring the two sides together once and for all. The answer? Prayer.

Pope Francis has told a reporter – just as a historic meeting between Israeli President Shimon Peres and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas looms – that to obtain peace in the Middle East, prayer is needed.

“Pray, pray, pray,” the pope told American television journalist and WABC Radio host Rita Cosby.

She was granted a rare audience with the pope at the Vatican in Rome this week, becoming one of the first American journalists to talk with him…

In the conversation, which was conducted in Spanish and Italian, the pope said peace is possible “with the Lord.”

“With the Lord, we must pray for peace,” he said. “Pray, pray, pray.”

Yeah, it’s not like there are millions of people who have been praying for peace there for decades or anything. Is that just not enough? What’s the magic number that has to be hit in order for God to pay attention?

20 comments

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  1. 1
    thepianoman2020

    I wonder if Christians just keep getting God’s voicemail. -BEEP- “Inbox is full.”

  2. 2
    Mr Ed

    To bad Pope Urban II didn’t think of that world would be a different place.

  3. 3
    Kevin Alexander

    He knows that millions of people have been praying to thousands of gods for thousands of years to no effect but he also knows that there hasn’t been anyone of perfect humility until he came along so god is soooo going to listen this time.

  4. 4
    Abdul Alhazred

    I’d say praying for peace in the Middle East is less harmful than the sort of meddling my taxes are paying for.

    So bravo Frankie, just tis once.

  5. 5
    colnago80

    Yes, a Christian telling Jews and Muslims to stop fighting with each other. What could go wrong?

  6. 6
    Pierce R. Butler

    Maybe it would work better for Bergoglio to dispatch his entire crack team of trained exorcists to The Holy Land™, equipped with a few planeloads of incense and beads.

    This is no time for half measures!

  7. 7
    matty1

    What else is he going to say? He’s the Pope after all, I expect “pray more” is his answer to almost everything. Yes it’s useless but he can’t exactly give it up without admitting the whole Catholic thing is bullshit and Frankie ain’t that much of a reformer.

  8. 8
    Modusoperandi

    No effect? Are you mad? The more time they spend praying the less time they have to be shitty to each other.

  9. 9
    busterggi

    What other choice did he have? Pee for prayer? Same results but dehydrating.

  10. 10
    zippythepinhead

    “No one in the entire history of the world has ever thought of this idea …”

    It certainly would never occur to me.

  11. 11
    richardelguru

    Are you sure he didn’t say “pay more”? I mean he is head of the Vatican!

  12. 12
    dingojack

    No, no you misheard. He said ‘prey more’. Just before he muttered ‘Now where’s them altar-boys at?’
    @@
    Dingo

  13. 13
    anubisprime

    It was advice or a plea never meant to actually solve anything especially the tragedy which is the middle east…but it does wonders to boost the profile of a new pope to the sycophants…who actually think his word comes directly from god.

    They can all circle jerk in the ecstasy of being fatuous ‘caring Christians’ but it probably grates deep down with the katolik’ ancient mantra they all grew up with, that those of a different faith actually worship satan…so they will not over exert their prayer bone…just enough for the pose to onlookers and not to appear in direct opposition to the pope’s wish…which they all suspect is just a media ploy anyway, but anything that promotes their delusion is AOK with them…whether it is true …or indeed not!

    It also seems to confirm the ‘modern’ RCC is deep in a media smooze, after all they are far from out the woods yet in terms of their kiddy fiddling penchant, this is just damage control meant to divert and misdirect attention, a blatant look over there smoke and mirror gambit..

    Seems that is this pope’s task…be a media hoer and let the appearance of…’getting it’ seem to dominate news items, when in fact they have very little desire to actually ‘get’ anything that does not sit in ease next to bigoted homophobic, misogynistic, atheist hating attitudes of the cardinals.

  14. 14
    Loqi

    Fear not, hellbound false-god worshippers embroiled in a political and religious war, for my one true god swoop in and fix everything that your gods could not.

    Humility indeed.

  15. 15
    fifthdentist

    Eh, why not?
    In most instances prayer will do nothing to help anyone, but in this instance I don’t see how it’s hurting anything either. And the poop is bring attention to the issue.
    It’s not like the evil things excused by prayer, like a Christianist walking by a hungry homeless family and muttering a telepathic message to his invisible friend to help them. Instead of, you know, at least buying the family a meal.

  16. 16
    Modusoperandi

    fifthdentist “It’s not like the evil things excused by prayer, like a Christianist walking by a hungry homeless family and muttering a telepathic message to his invisible friend to help them. Instead of, you know, at least buying the family a meal.”
    What? Everybody knows you tell them to “get a job” and then have them arrested for vagrancy. Haven’t you read the Parable of the Bad Samaritan?

  17. 17
    reverendrodney

    I visited the Wailing Wall while in Jerusalem a few years ago and prayed for world peace.
    That worked.

  18. 18
    steve oberski

    I think that the pope should start small, praying for good parking spots, loose change behind seat cushions and bonus air miles on his next trip.

    If he slowly works his way up he can eventually achieve world peace without straining any of those special pope miracle glands.

  19. 19
    billdaniels

    The problem with asking for prayers for peace in the Middle East is that half of the pray-ers are saying, “LORD please smite those dirty Mooslims ” and the other half are praying, “LORD, please smite those dirty Joos.” They then cancel each other out.
    Steve Oberski: When looking for a place to park your car, the prayer, “Hail Mary full of grace, help me find a parking space” always works for me. Always.

  20. 20
    gardengnome

    I reckon this reporter must be feeling pretty short-changed – a once-in-a-lifetime papal interview and all she gets is the same old tripe…

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