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May 15 2014

The Peter No Like Gay Kisses

Peter LaBarbera is upset. Okay, so Peter LaBarbera is always upset. Sputtering rage is his default setting because he just hates living in a society that is starting to treat gay people as human beings with equal rights. But being “forced” to see Michael Sam kiss his boyfriend on TV may have been the last straw.

LaBarbera blasted media outlets for having “reported the kiss without giving the other side of people who would voice disapproval of people being forced and subjected to through the media these homosexual acts, the homosexual perversion.”

“Crosstalk” host Jim Schneider of VCY America even wondered if the NFL is “going to be requiring some kind of homosexual quota in the future.”

If that keeps people like you up at night shivering in terror, keep right on believing that.

Later in the interview, when a caller credited LaBarbera and pastor Scott Lively for making “great strides abroad in places like Uganda,” LaBarbera lamented that “America is leaving God behind and we’ve become one of the most radical nations on Earth now.”

Fights for equality are always declared “radical” by bigots.

30 comments

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  1. 1
    Chris J

    “great strides abroad in places like Uganda”

    Indeed, great strides. What was it? Something like a 10-to-20-fold increase in violence against gay people? Straight up physical violence. Is that what the caller was talking about?

  2. 2
    busterggi

    I demand equal sights – show a hot lesbian couple kissing too!

  3. 3
    Modusoperandi

    “He’s so happy he’s crying. Now he’s kissing his man. Awwww.”
     
    EMERGENCY FAG SYSTEM ACTIVATED!
    *Faaa-aaag! Faaa-aaag! Faaa-aaag!*…
    CITIZENS IN THIS REGION SHOULD REPORT TO AN EMERGENCY HETEROSHELTER IMMEDIATELY
    …*Faaa-aaag! Faaa-aaag! Faaa-aaag!*…
    WE NOW TAKE YOU BACK TO OUR REGULAR SCHEDULED BROADCAST
     
    “What the hell was that?”
    “The Conservative version of Fairness Doctrine.”
    “Oh.”

  4. 4
    Gregory in Seattle

    Keep in mind that The Peter goes to International Mr. Leather in Chicago every spring, and to the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco every autumn, takes lots and LOTS of pictures of men dressed only in leather fetish wear — and very little of even that, if you catch my drift — and posts them to his blog over a period of months so he can publicly clutch his… um, pearls in utter shock at the sex and nudity while begging for money to stop the depravity that he, himself is posting to the Internet.

    He keeps using the word “outrage.” I do not think it means what he thinks it means.

  5. 5
    cptdoom

    The best part is that the more Peter & his fellow travelers clutch their collective pearls about “the kiss” the news & sports channels keep showing it as they “cover the controversy.” So Peter keep on talking ’cause that kiss was hot & I like seeing it again and again.

  6. 6
    seraphymcrash

    This reminds me of a friend of mine’s response to public displays of affection by gay men.

    It started out as “I don’t have a problem with it, I just don’t want to see, it’s icky”

    A year or two later the someone else said the exact same thing to my friend and his response was “who fucking cares, it’s not even an issue”.

    Basically, seeing two men kiss is icky the first time or two you see it (only because you’ve never been confronted by it before), and then it rapidly becomes just a normal thing. This is what Peter is so scared of, televised kissing will make America realize even faster that it’s not a big deal.

  7. 7
    Larry

    Sorry you haz a sad, Pete. Here’s a little tune that should cheer you right up!

    If you want to know
    (Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop)
    If he loves you so
    (Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop)
    Its in his kiss
    (Thats where it is)
    Oh, its in his kiss, thats where is

  8. 8
    John Pieret

    The whole idea that a couple of men kissing is some horrible homosexual act that should give people the vapors is just silly hyperbole that is actually helping the marriage equality cause.

    The really sick thing Pettie said was that “we’ve become one of the most radical nations on Earth now.” Not even close, Pettie, not even close.

  9. 9
    JJ831

    America is leaving God behind and we’ve become one of the most radical nations on Earth now

    The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles approve of the US being one of the most RADICAL!! nations on earth. But that’s because of the plethora of pizza parlors.

  10. 10
    Jackie

    Chris J @ #1
    Yes. That is exactly what that toad means.

  11. 11
    D. C. Sessions

    By any chance have those “Great Strides in Uganda [1]” gotten you any closer to the Final Solution to the Queer Problem, Peter?

    [1] How did the shoes look?

  12. 12
    matty1

    @4 I thought I’d read that he was banned from the International Mr leather event for harassing other attendees

  13. 13
    Crimson Clupeidae

    I propose a trade: We’ll take all the gay people in Uganda. Uganda can have all our anti-gay bigots.

    Win-win.

  14. 14
    Ichthyic

    By any chance have those “Great Strides in Uganda [1]” gotten you any closer to the Final Solution to the Queer Problem, Peter?

    it makes me wonder what the comments will be when Scott Lively is convicted of human rights abuses in a foreign country next year.

    I’m sure he will be hailed as a fucking martyr.

  15. 15
    Loqi

    How does Peter feel about the NFL in general? No gays allowed gets mentioned in the bible, but isn’t really emphasized. Now working on Sundays, however, made it into the bibles list of 10 things you must never, ever do.

  16. 16
    matty1

    Saturdays, it’s Saturdays you aren’t allowed to work. Why does no one, except Jewish people and seventh day adventists, remember this?

  17. 17
    anubisprime

    Later in the interview, when a caller credited LaBarbera and pastor Scott Lively for making “great strides abroad in places like Uganda,”

    They are proud of the misery and destruction of people they have never met…and Ed thinks this behaviour is not mental impairment.

    These fuckers are psychotic and they hide behind their delusion…and every body lets them!

  18. 18
    Doubting Thomas

    They must have their own dictionary because I don’t think “forced” means the same thing in English either.

  19. 19
    eric

    Forced? That’s funny, I still haven’t seen it. Not because I’m opposed or anything, I just don’t watch a lot of TV outside of pre-recorded shows.

    Dude, nobody forces you to watch any TV.

  20. 20
    Deacon Duncan

    What I find revealing about this outrage is how well it exposes his irrational prejudice. Kissing is not “unnatural” by anyone’s standards (and the Bible even commands Christians to greet one another with a holy kiss). There’s no “unnatural” use of body parts, even by bigoted standards, since men and women kiss exactly the same with exactly the same bodily organs. It’s no more reproductive between opposite-sex partners than same-sex partners. Even the fact that it’s being done out of love is no legitimate cause for outrage, since (again) heteros do it all the time even when they’re not married.

    The one and only thing driving his horror is the fact that gays fall in love differently than he does. That’s why he doesn’t want them having any physical contact of any kind, let alone outright sex. He is purely and simply prejudiced against them for falling in love differently. And there’s no rational reason for taking such offense at such a harmless difference. Especially considering it is 100% none of his business.

  21. 21
    drowner

    Modus @3:

    You are consistently the funniest commenter on FtB. Kudos.

  22. 22
    Modusoperandi

    drowner, thanks. Can I use you as a reference? When someone calls asking about me, just say “He was a model employee who didn’t steal any forklifts or anything!”

  23. 23
    D Carter

    Peter LaBarbera found showing a kiss offensive? Then probably he’d find showing a peter barbaric.

  24. 24
    dingojack

    Third time’s the charm:
    “BARONESS WOOTTON OF ABINGER: … I can only suppose that the opponents of this Bill will be afraid that their imagination will be tormented by visions of what will be going on elsewhere. Surely, if that is so, that is their own private misfortune, and no reason for imposing their personal standards of taste and morality on the minority of their fellow citizens who can find sexual satisfaction only in relations with their own sex.”
    As true then as now.
    Dingto

  25. 25
    democommie

    Petie was prolly forced to watch that video clip, hundreds of times, from dozens of different angles, while waxing the dolphin.

    “The one and only thing driving his horror is the fact that gays fall in and he can’t.”

    Pardon the edit.

  26. 26
    danrobinson

    I missed the video of the kiss. Was it required? Am I in trouble? I’m gay and would have loved to see it but now I’m in trouble and I didn’t even get to see it. Is it still required if you’ve kissed guys yourself? Where are the requirements forcing us to watch gay kisses? I want to comply but can’t seem to find the regulations.
    I’m so confused.

  27. 27
    marcus

    Gregory @ He keeps using the word “outrage.” I do not think it means what he thinks it means.
    I’m pretty sure he thinks it means an overweening desire to “wax the dolphin” (Hat-tip to demo, good one, stealing that.).

  28. 28
    greg1466

    “Later in the interview, when a caller credited LaBarbera and pastor Scott Lively for making “great strides abroad in places like Uganda,” So move to Uganda already. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

  29. 29
    timgueguen

    Hey, all romantic kissing is kind of icky when you think about it, unless it’s you involved. And sometimes with you involved, if your partner is a bad kisser.

  30. 30
    democommie

    @27:

    As close as I’ll ever get to a ‘Netty but I have to confess it’s not mine. That one’s been around for at least 30 years. They actually have a “Dolphin Day” at some schools–oh,wait, no, that’s for REAL dolphins!

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