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Coach Dave: We Are a Theocracy

Poor Coach Dave. He’s upset that the small percentage of gay people is “pushing around” the 80% of Christians. He declares that there is no separation of church and state and that the U.S. is, in fact, a theocracy because of “one nation, under God” in the pledge of allegiance.

“We are a theocracy,” he proclaimed. “God is in control.”

As such, Christians must stand up and fight back against the gays who “are pushing us around.”

“The homosexuals have seized marriage, they have seized the job market,” he warned. “You speak out against them, it is a pock (sic) upon your family, it’s a black mark that you’ll never be able to get out from under, you’re a hate monger and a homophobe and a bigot.”

Hey, if the white sheet fits…

Comments

  1. howardhershey says

    I never knew that the Sainted Founders of America lived all the way to 1945 (when the Pledge was formally adopted by Congress) and 1954 (when the words “under God” where added). The things you learn…that ain’t so.

  2. Artor says

    Gosh, if the Pledge of Allegiance holds the force of law, when do we get to see that “Liberty & Justice for All?”

  3. John Pieret says

    Coach better hope this isn’t a theocracy because when those 100 million Muslims Obama has hidden in the National Parks are finally set loose, they’re gonna kick his and every other Christians’ ass, since they can’t even stand up to that 3% of the homofascistatheists. “Nation under God” could just as well be “Nation under Allah”!

  4. Akira MacKenzie says

    You speak out against them, it is a pock (sic) upon your family, it’s a black mark that you’ll never be able to get out from under, you’re a hate monger and a homophobe and a bigot.

    Awwww… poor baby.

  5. says

    “You speak out against them… you’re a hate monger and a homophobe and a bigot.”

    It’s only the fact that he means these words ironically that prevents them from being literally true.

  6. zenlike says

    the U.S. is, in fact, a theocracy because of “one nation, under God” in the pledge of allegiance.

    Those damn justices keep repeating the tired old nonsense of ‘ceremonial deism’ when it comes to first amendment cases involving the oath, but it is very clear that christians don’t see it as ceremonial deism at all.

  7. Michael Heath says

    Dave whatever his last name is:

    “You speak out against them, it is a pock (sic) upon your family, it’s a black mark that you’ll never be able to get out from under, you’re a hate monger and a homophobe and a bigot.”
    [Heath bolded]

    Conservative Christian fear of being labeled what I emphasized above is credible. Even if they eventually support legalizing gay civil marriage, if you belong to a church that abuses gay children and discriminates against gay adults, you’re effectively a hateful bigot, with rare exceptions amongst the adults. As society increasingly accepts gay people and their families, their bigotry will be increasingly revealed for what it is. So it’ll be increasingly difficult for them to avoid or deny one’s own bigoted complicity in abusing gay children and discriminating against gay adults and their families.

    How to stop being a hate-monger or bigot? Either end your relationships with churches who discriminate against gays or openly and energetically seek to end such discrimination of such.

  8. Larry says

    The U.S. is, in fact, a theocracy …

    Dave, I don’t think the word fact means what you think it means.

  9. peterh says

    Under god, eh?

    Which god?

    There are several thousand to choose from & most of them, by reputation at least, are not very nice.

  10. Kermit Freehand says

    What’s the matter, coach – can’t feel manly unless you can bully someone around? Look, you can act like a superstitious, bigoted, insecure bully and be called on it, or you can act like a decent human being and be known as that. Your choice. It may be a hard choice, but it’s not a complicated one.

  11. anubisprime says

    <blockquote“We are a theocracy,”

    If they say it enough times during the day to anyone. everyone, and their dog, within earshot, and whisper it to themselves before they go beddy bye byes…it just might come true in the morning, you have just got to wish it very very hard and it will happen just like Santa Claus…jeebus says so!

    (It is also highly possible that ‘theocracy’ does not mean what Dave thinks it means)

  12. says

    I think that when he says “We are a theocracy; God is in control,” he’s not talking about the government. He’s saying God is in charge of everything and everyone in actuality, regardless of what the law says. I suppose that makes sense if you already believe in his god. But if not then of course it comes off as delusional nonsense.

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