Larry Klayman Hearts Clive Bundy


They say the only two certainties in life are death and taxes. Let me suggest a third: If there’s a wingnut somewhere falsely claiming persecution, you can count on Larry Klayman, the dumbest lawyer in America not named Mat Staver, sprinting to his side for a little camera time. The first line of this column made me laugh:

I was on my way to the Bundy ranch last Thursday to meet with the family to see if I could be of some help in their epic land battle with the Bureau of Land Management (BLM).

Oh, I’m sure they could use your mad lawyerin’ skills, Larry. Maybe you could file another one of your now-infamous legal complaints that don’t bother to make any actual legal arguments but are just long lists of political grievances instead. I’m sure that would help a lot. I’m so glad you’re on the case. Alas, Bundy refused his sage advice:

When I arrived at the ranch, I spoke with Cliven about the comments and suggested that he clarify his remarks immediately since, after talking with him, it seemed that what he was trying to say was that black people had been so poorly treated by the government, as he had been, that ironically they may have been better off under slavery. He was trying to equate welfare and going on the government dole, which takes away a person’s self esteem and puts then out to pasture like cattle, with his own plight. From my interaction with Cliven, it became clear to me that he is a person who speaks what is in his mind and is not a racist, and that, being a rancher in a remote area of Nevada, never was exposed to the political correctness of the city slickers in Las Vegas for instance. For him, the term “negro” was what he had learned as a boy, when that term was widely used by even such civil rights icons as Rev. Martin Luther King. He was obviously unaware that the likes of other reverends – albeit phony members of the cloth – Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, had coined the term “African-American,” many years after Rev. King’s death.

In discussing the matter with Cliven, with other members of the family listening, I advised him that anything we talked about would be private, as I took this to be a consultation under the attorney client privilege. Cliven shot back, not in anger but with his own sense of self, that he did not need “any attorney” to speak for him and did not want anything about his remarks to be confidential. I told him it was not my intent to speak for him and I backed off. He then left to do his planned press conference, where he reiterated his beliefs in even a less politically correct and inarticulate fashion than he had with the New York Times. I was present at the press conference but did not speak, as I had no authority to do so and did not want to chime in in any event. But it was clear that a good man had again shot himself in the foot, after ironically having victoriously escaped gunfire during the provocative, heavy-handed raid on his ranch by the BLM.

Bundy clearly doesn’t know who he was dealing with! Why, you’re the guy who represented Bradlee Dean in his crucial lawsuit to crush the First Amendment right of news outlets to quote him verbatim! And you did such a brilliant job of it that you got him stuck with a nearly $30,000 bill for legal fees because you filed the case in the wrong venue. Why, you’re a hero, Larry! A goddamned hero. And that ungrateful SOB just doesn’t know it.

Comments

  1. colnago80 says

    If there’s a wingnut somewhere falsely claiming persecution, you can count on Larry Klayman, the dumbest lawyer in America not named Mat Staver,

    Or Orly Taitz; not to forget ole Orly.

  2. John Pieret says

    That may have been the smartest thing Bundy’s done since he started grazing cattle on Federal land.

  3. abb3w says

    Bundy’s hostile reaction to Klayman’s lawyerhood suggests that Bundy may not only be part of the Sovereign Citizen movement, but in the sub-variety that think the Titles Of Nobility Amendment was the actual 13th Amendment passed, and that Lawyers’ styling themselves as “Esquire” is such a title of nobility — and that therefore, Klayman is not a US Citizen, but a foreign national. (See here.) Ergo, Klayman’s attempt to establish an attorney-client relationship with Bundy is viewed as an attempt to entrap Bundy within the compass and reach of the Federal courts and laws — since as a sovereign citizen Clive Bundy cannot be restrained by them until such a relationship is established.

    Klayman is lucky he wasn’t tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail. Or worse.

  4. dmcclean says

    Where do these people get the dumbfuck idea that the problem with comments like those is that they used the wrong magic word?

  5. pocketnerd says

    Thus Spake ZaraLarry Klayman:

    From my interaction with Cliven, it became clear to me that he is a person who speaks what is in his mind and is not a racist, and that, being a rancher in a remote area of Nevada, never was exposed to the political correctness of the city slickers in Las Vegas for instance. For him, the term “negro” was what he had learned as a boy, when that term was widely used by even such civil rights icons as Rev. Martin Luther King.

    I’m always amused by right-wing attempts to re-frame criticism about content into criticism about tone — as if liberals objected to the use of specific words rather than his statement that African-Americans were better off as slaves. There often seems to be an underlying assumption that liberals secretly agree with the racist right about Those People, but those damn libs just won’t admit it.

    Oddly enough, this also tends to go hand-in-hand with the wingnut blindness to context and tone. “It was okay sixty years ago, how come it’s not okay today? If it’s okay for black people to use certain words, how come it’s not okay for us white guys? Huh? Huh?! Answer me that, Mister Smartypants Liberal!”

    But it was clear that a good man had again shot himself in the foot, after ironically having victoriously escaped gunfire during the provocative, heavy-handed raid on his ranch by the BLM.

    This is such a bizarre distortion of reality I had to check the Wikipedia entry to see if there had been some kind of shootout I’d missed. The right is mythologizing this situation faster than I’d thought possible.

  6. says

    Tangentially;

    Imagine a black man refuses to pay taxes, rallies his boys to take up arms against Feds. Brother would be dead before he could say “freedom”…Baratunde

  7. dogmeat says

    the dumbest lawyer in America not named Mat Staver,

    Wait a second, did Orly Taitz do something competent to knock her out of the running?

  8. Artor says

    Huh? Bundy told Klayman to fuck off? Maybe Bundy isn’t as much of an idiot as he sounds?

  9. abb3w says

    @5, dmcclean

    Where do these people get the dumbfuck idea that the problem with comments like those is that they used the wrong magic word?

    An interesting choice of idiom there.

    Generalizing an insight from a (largely unrelated) paper by Michael Albers, cargo cult practices occur when practitioners rigidly apply a rule of practice without a clear understanding of why the rule exists or whether it applies to the situation. It may be rooted in failure to distinguish superficial and essential aspects in the domain of practice; in turn, rooted in motivated reasoning and liking the seeming potentials of the one better than the other. The original “cargo cult” religion appeared to be a religion centered on what Dale Cannon terms “Shamanic Mediation” — “entry into altered states of consciousness in order to mediate “supernatural” resources of imagination, power, and guidance for solving otherwise intractable problems of life“. There, the practices corrupted were aviation logistics.

    Correspondingly, SCM folk appears to engage in cargo cult practice of law. They file court papers and make arguments based from legal theory frameworks that do not correspond to how US courts actually work — producing superficial form, yet lacking the essential character. Courts are focused on language, with jargon and idiom peculiar to the context, yet bearing a dangerous and potentially misleading resemblance to colloquial English. While saying the right thing (or wrong thing) in a courtroom can genuinely cause dramatic effects on how members of the culture act outside it, the SCM cultists model this cause-and-effect correspondence poorly.

    As I’ve previously (and repeatedly) observed, many members of the Sovereign Citizen Movement resemble a species of moron that believes Legalese is a magic language, and that if they can only find the proper charms and incantations to speak and rituals to perform, they will be granted the power to summon and to command, to loose and to bind, and the wish of their heart’s desire will magically be granted. (A few lawyers with experience have appeared sympathetic to this characterization.) It seems there may be some underlying cognitive root commonality here, with a correlation of tendency to cargo cultism and of tendency to a shamanic view of language in particular. Maybe reading up on shamanic mediation in “secret knowledge” mystery cults might shed more light?

  10. Trebuchet says

    Another dumb lawyer: Andrew Schlaffley.

    If you actually here the audio of what Bundy said, he didn’t use the word “negro”. He clearly says “niggra”.

  11. dingojack says

    Ed – is ‘Clive Bundy’ mentioned in the headline, Cliven Bundy’s slightly less dumb brother?
    Enquiring minds and etc.
    Dingo

  12. felidae says

    Even a dumbfucker like Klayman should realize that people like Bundy, who don’t believe in the rule of law, don’t have any use for layers

  13. says

    “I was present at the press conference but did not speak, as I had no authority to do so and did not want to chime in in any event.”

    Hmm, Larry’s back on his meds?

    “Klayman is lucky he wasn’t tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail.”

    I’m not good at math but I think if we put all of these whackaloonz in a locked room, with an assortment of edge weapons and firearms and THEN told them that several of their number were undercover agents of BHNOJT* there would be a series of variables cancelling each other out until there was only the ONE left.

    * Black Helicopterin’, Nanny-booted ObamaFEMA Jack Thugs

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