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Bob McDonnell Finds a Job

Former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, now facing federal corruption charges for allegedly accepting vast sums of money from a maker of scam medical “supplements,” has finally found a job. He’ll be teaching at the Jesse Helms school of Government at Liberty University, presumably named that because he and Jerry Falwell were both enthusiastic supporters of racial segregation.

Students at Liberty University’s Helms School of Government are regularly afforded opportunities to hear from a wide range of influencers at all levels of government. This semester they heard from former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, who was recently invited to join the teaching staff at Liberty as a distinguished visiting professor in government.

McDonnell, a longtime friend of the university, said he is delighted to contribute to Liberty’s world-class academic programs and to train students to make a significant positive impact at every level of government.

“I am privileged to have the opportunity to teach the outstanding young people at Liberty University who will be future leaders for the state and nation. Liberty’s international reach, dynamic growth, and focus on excellence make it a force in higher education,” McDonnell said.

Liberty President Jerry Falwell said the university will tap McDonnell’s extensive career experience in business, law, public policy, and government.

“Gov. McDonnell will add another dimension to the educational experience of Liberty students by teaching leadership,” Falwell said. “He achieved great success as governor in making Virginia one of the nation’s most business-friendly and fiscally sound states while getting people to work together for the common good. These experiences uniquely qualify him to teach our students about every aspect of serving in public office.”

His first class will be titled How Not to Get Caught Taking Kickbacks 101.

Comments

  1. wscott says

    His first class will be titled How Not to Get Caught Taking Kickbacks 101.

    Someone needs to shoot this spoof immediately! I’m thinking along the lines of Chris Rock’s classic “How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked By The Police” video.

  2. Chiroptera says

    Will Bob McDonnell be teaching a course on professional ethics? I bet it couldn’t hurt if some of the students decided to go into politics later!

  3. Kevin Kehres says

    What a shock I got when I read that press release. I thought Jerry Falwell died in 2007. What happened? Did he rise from the dead? Why didn’t anyone tell us?

    No…just boring son carrying on the grift in his father’s name. Can’t even be arsed to add “Jr” — too many pixels, apparently.

  4. Mr Ed says

    His first class will be titled How Not to Get Caught Taking Kickbacks 101.

    Maybe he can do a seminar for the Republican Governors Association. I know former Connecticut Governor John Roland could use a refresher.

  5. says

    The Jesse Helms School of Government? Are you fucking kidding me? When did Jesse Helms ever show any concern for either schools or government? His entire career was spent obstructing and undermining both. What a fucking disgraceful joke.

  6. D. C. Sessions says

    RB, I think you’re missing the point. Given that LU is all about “obstructing and undermining both,” who better to have as a mascot?

  7. matty1 says

    What happened? Did he rise from the dead? Why didn’t anyone tell us?

    All Christians are supposed to rise from the dead, it’s one of the core beliefs. Of course most of them expect to wait for the end of the world to do it but ol’ Jerry always a bit of an eager beaver.

  8. John Pieret says

    His first class will be titled How Not to Get Caught Taking Kickbacks 101.

    Given current events, that might not be his area of expertise.

  9. petemoulton says

    When I first glanced at this post’s title about Bob McDonnell’s new job, the first thing that came to mind was ‘making license plates.’ Anyone else get that idea?

  10. colnago80 says

    Always amusing to find a Roman Catholic like McDonnell associating with a fundy Protestant “school”.

  11. Richard Smith says

    Must be because it’s Friday… I read the subject line, and wanted to add “E-I, E-I, O!” for some reason.

  12. dhall says

    So . . . if he is convicted, and sentenced to prison for awhile, will his students get incompletes in their classes, or will they finish up the term online?

  13. cptdoom says

    Forgive me for the technicality, but isn’t McDonnell accused of quid pro quo financial shenanigans and not kickbacks? It’s still corrupt, but in his (and his wife’s) case he took $$ and gifts in exchange for endorsing and promoting a sham product. I don’t believe he was actually getting money based on the product’s sales. Granted, corruption is corruption, but we should be clear on exactly what McDonnell was up to.

  14. D. C. Sessions says

    cptdoom, I think it would have to be quid pro quo, because per recent Supreme Court ruling that’s the only kind of “corruption” that the Constitution permits us to limit. Otherwise, those gifts are just political speech.

  15. iknklast says

    That anyone could refer to Liberty University and world-class academic programs in the same sentence is frightening.

  16. felidae says

    The very existence of a Jesse Helms School of Government is risible on the face of it!
    Here are some courses for the catalog:
    Dog whistle politics in the 21st century 101
    Racist agendas and how to hide them 202
    Using race and class divisions for electoral gain 305
    Advanced techniques in political obstructionism 401
    Disenfranchising and voter intimidation strategies 404

  17. caseloweraz says

    I look forward to the announcement of Liberty University’s other world-class schools of higher learning:

    The John Abramoff School of Political Fundraising

    The Bernard Madoff School of Finance

    The Kenneth Cuccinelli School of Legislative Ethics

    The Sarah Louise Palin School of Journalism

    The James Inhofe School of Climatology

    The Louis Gomert School of Asparagus Horticulture

  18. Gvlgeologist, FCD says

    When I read this

    Jesse Helms school of Government at Liberty University

    I had to check to make sure that I wasn’t on the Onion’s website.

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