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May 01 2014

Rick Perry Gets Baptized. Again.

If you want further evidence that Rick Perry is planning another run for president — please God, make this happen — look no further than the fact that he was recently re-baptized (no, not waterboarded, as Sarah Palin calls it) in the same creek where Sam Houston was once sanctified as well.

With only close friends and family looking on, the born-again Christian governor was baptized outdoors, in the spring waters once used to wash the sins off Sam Houston, the first elected president of the Republic of Texas and one of the most colorful political figures in American history.

When Houston emerged from Little Rocky Creek near Independence, Texas, in 1854, he was reported to have proclaimed, “I pity the fish downstream.”

There’s no word yet on what Perry said after he was dunked, but his office confirmed that the ceremony took place last month. And the pastor whose congregation still uses the creek for baptisms recounted the governor’s subsequent visit to the nearby church, where he said Perry played a soulful hymn on the organ and soaked up the rich local history.

“Gov. Perry has a deep and abiding faith in God,” Perry spokesman Felix Browne said in a written statement. “Like many people of faith, the governor wished to reaffirm his commitment in a way that holds great personal meaning.”

Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for us, water can’t wash away stupidity.

27 comments

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  1. 1
    sh3baproject

    he washed away the smart though.

  2. 2
    Alverant

    I wonder if he thinks this will wash away his responsibility for things he’s done like sabotage the investigation into the possibility that Texas executed an innocent person or that explosion in West.

  3. 3
    Marcus Ranum

    If it was the water used to wash sins off Sam Huston I wonder if he caught any of ‘ol Sam’s naughtys? Sins go in, sins go out, how do they work?!

  4. 4
    Marcus Ranum

    I got it!!:
    It’s part of his laser focus on jobs and the economy!

  5. 5
    John Pieret

    Didn’t Perry talk about the possibility of Texas seceding from the US?

    With all the attention on a connection with Sam Huston, maybe Perry is running for president of the new Republic of Texas.

  6. 6
    eamick

    Didn’t Perry talk about the possibility of Texas seceding from the US?

    Yes, he did, unlike Houston, who refused to participate in Texas’ secession and was thrown out of office as a result.

  7. 7
    Evan Brehm

    The irony is that Sam Houston was strongly pro-Union during the Civil War and would not have approved of secession.

  8. 8
    theschwa

    So is he born-again-again?

  9. 9
    dickspringer

    I remember the Republican presidential debate in which Rick Perry bragged about the over 200 prisoners he had had executed. The debate audience (presumably mostly good Christians) gave him thunderous applause.

  10. 10
    blf

    Add one more toxic polluted river to the Superfund.

  11. 11
    Doug Little

    Does anyone, anyone at all see this as anything other than posturing. If so we are dealing with some pretty dim bulbs. Bought to you by the department of what a load of shit.

  12. 12
    tfkreference

    Quote from the event:

    “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the…uh…oops!

  13. 13
    steve78b

    By the laws of homeopathy, since the water touched him it has his properties and now ALL THE WATER HAS PERRY COOTIES!!

    Thats why I’m grateful in this case that homeopaty is a load of bunk.

    I unbaptised myself in a honey pit on the edge of a rice field in Korea. about the middle of the winter of 87-88. Stunk but I felt better. ….. (it was accidental..)

    Steve in OK

  14. 14
    Gregory in Seattle

    I find the obsession with repeated baptism to be amusingly silly and shockingly blasphemous at the same time. My Christian education (mainly Episcopalian) taught that baptism was a once-in-a-lifetime event, intended to wash away the “taint” of Original Sin; getting baptized again was, in essence, you telling God that the Holy Magic failed the last time. And the time before that. And the time before that.

    Not to mention, the apparent belief that re-baptism is an enchanted get-out-of-jail free card. “I’m gonna sin and sin and sin all this week, ’cause next week I get re-baptized and will be all right with the Lord. Yee-haw!” It is very creepy, and an all too convenient way to abandon any sense of responsibility.

  15. 15
    jefferylanam

    Houston had been baptized as a Catholic while Texas was still part of Mexico, in order to own property under Mexican law. He was re-baptized as a Baptist at the urging of his third wife, not as a political show.

  16. 16
    Pieter B, FCD

    I can’t ever see Rick Perry without thinking of the commentator—was it on this blog?— who wrote

    I never thought I’d say this, but he reminds me of Geroge W Bush without the brains.

  17. 17
    daved

    Molly Ivins quoted a Texas newspaper editor, who wrote the wonderful line “The trouble with our Texas Baptists is that we do not hold them under water long enough.”

  18. 18
    busterggi

    If baptism actually did something besides getting a person temporarilly wet it wouldn’t need to be repeated.

  19. 19
    Synfandel

    @2 Alverant mused:

    I wonder if he thinks this will wash away his responsibility for things he’s done like sabotage the investigation into the possibility that Texas executed an innocent person or that explosion in West.

    One the things that most annoy me about Christianity is this notion that getting your sin record expunged in the eyes of God removes any responsibility to the victims of your misdeeds. If you steal a car and then get absolved by a priest, you still owe someone a car.

  20. 20
    Zeno

    water can’t wash away stupidity

    I beg to differ. It’s just that most people aren’t held under the water long enough for the stupidity to go away.

  21. 21
    sigurd jorsalfar

    “I’m gonna sin and sin and sin all this week, ’cause next week I get re-baptized and will be all right with the Lord. Yee-haw!”

    If that’s what it was all about, you’d think Perry would have waited till after he left politics. Could it be that he has some other motivation?

  22. 22
    fifthdentist

    Maybe Perry had wanted to get re-baptized a long time ago, but this is the first time in four years there was enough water in any of Texas’ streams to submerge him?

  23. 23
    lorn

    I hadn’t thought of it before but perhaps baptism explains his stupidity. Poor guy got held under too long.

    Now you have to vote for him, or you are discriminating against the handicapped.

  24. 24
    Dr X

    One the things that most annoy me about Christianity is this notion that getting your sin record expunged in the eyes of God removes any responsibility to the victims of your misdeeds. If you steal a car and then get absolved by a priest, you still owe someone a car.

    Reparation, when it’s possible, is required.

    http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1491.htm

    In lieu of reparation, if it’s not possible, priests typically require acts of charity.

  25. 25
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    If he’s just been born again, doesn’t that make him too young to run for office?

  26. 26
    dingojack

    Clearly the first one didn’t take, this time for sure!
    Dingo

  27. 27
    carlie

    I find the obsession with repeated baptism to be amusingly silly and shockingly blasphemous at the same time. My Christian education (mainly Episcopalian) taught that baptism was a once-in-a-lifetime event, intended to wash away the “taint” of Original Sin;

    In denominations with adult baptism such as Perry’s, baptism has no “magic” of its own; it is only an “outward expression of an inward change”. It is the public declaration of the decision you have made to accept the gift of salvation and give your life over to God. That decision itself is supposed to be a once in a lifetime event, though, and therefore baptism is also only supposed to happen once. The only time rebaptism has traditionally been allowed, depending on the individual church itself, is if you realize that the first time you didn’t really understand what you were doing and now want to make that right (such as if you were very young the first time). In recent years it’s been used more as a “rededication”, which some churches still find ridiculous. Interestingly, a rededication kind of ceremony usually only happens when someone declares that their life has gone astray so far that they feel they need the ceremony to psychologically reset everything in their life. So, a lot of people right in his desired demographic might look at this and, instead of being impressed with his piety, will wonder what on earth Perry has been getting up to in his personal life to feel the need for a hard reset.

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