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Beck: God’s Coming…And He’s Pissed

Glenn Beck spoke at Liberty University last week and struck his usual “I’m just an empty vessel doing the will of God” schtick. He says he only held the rally in Jerusalem a few years ago because God told him to and he had a special message to deliver: God’s coming back…and he’s gonna settle scores.

Don’t piss off God. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Comments

  1. says

    Is it just me, or is he becoming more and more an Evangelical preacher?

    He should be careful: he’s Mormon, and the LDS takes a very, very dim view of rival “prophets.”

  2. rabbitscribe says

    Fools! His return is very, VERY soon! It has been for 2,000 years, and it always will be!

  3. eric says

    Glenn Beck spoke at Liberty University last week and struck his usual “I’m just an empty vessel doing the will of God” schtick.

    Which is as morally defensible as “I was just following orders.”

  4. raven says

    Is it just me, or is he becoming more and more an Evangelical preacher?

    Beck goes where the money is. There are a lot more fundies. It is reported that he goes to a fundie megachurch these days.

    He should be careful: he’s Mormon, and the LDS takes a very, very dim view of rival “prophets.”

    That they do. They have had a serious problem with rival prophets, schisms, and wars. There are around 100 Mormon splinter groups, many of them quite ugly.

    It is a hazard of cults led by prophets. Being a prophet is easy. Anyone can do it. You talk to the gods and get your revelations the same way they all do. By making it up as you go along.

  5. sugarfrosted says

    Silly Glenn Beck, Jesus already returned and his name is now Kanye West.

  6. Chiroptera says

    Huh. From everything I’ve heard about this God fellow, he seems to have some profound anger management issues. Has someone suggested professional therapy for him?

  7. says

    Will any of Yahweh’s wrath fall on:

    governors who deny medical care their constituents;
    governors who trample the law (and the judiciary) underfoot to put a rush on executions;
    congressmen who cut food stamps and terminate unemployment benefits when there are three job applicants for every job;
    congressmen who ignore the scientific consensus on our environmental depredations?

    Would it were so.

  8. dugglebogey says

    Why don’t all these people who keep saying god’s coming to fuck our shit up just shut up and let him do it already?

  9. Alverant says

    *Yawn* just like all those claims that have been being made over the centuries. Once he gives us a specific date, I’ll pay attention … just so I can see his justification as to why nothing happened when the deadline came and went.

  10. petemoulton says

    I’m not worried. Beck’s deity has such a terrible aim that you might almost think that it doesn’t exist at all.

  11. caseloweraz says

    So the omnipresent lord of the universe is on the way. He’ll be here Real Soon Now.

    Perhaps Vladimir and Estragon will be good enough to tell us when he arrives.

  12. sigurd jorsalfar says

    God is definitely coming real soon, just you wait. Oh sure, he didn’t come to stop Hitler (he left that job to us). He didn’t come to stop Stalin. But he’s totally coming any minute now because it’s black presidents and teh gays that really piss him off.

  13. cry4turtles says

    I had to stop listening after 37 seconds. My eardrums were poking hot pointy sticks into my brain.

  14. busterggi says

    I look forward to a pissed god coming back. Last time he brought the platypus, who knows what is next?

  15. kagekiri says

    You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

    Considering the premise of the book of Job is that God was actually 100% pleased with Job before letting Satan fuck Job up anyway for shits and masturbatory giggles, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t like God if he was pleased or happy, either.

    To be fair, this is kinda obvious from the get go: he’s a god that’s pleased by blood sacrifice, including human sacrifice, and doesn’t shake this preoccupation with the death of innocents throughout the Bible.

    Dude’s an asshole. Even when I was a Christian, I had this realization several times.

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