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Apr 28 2014

Wingnut on Wingnut Crime: Jones vs Beck

Okay, this one cracks me up. Dueling conspiracy theorists Alex Jones and Glenn Beck are not happy with one another and Alex Jones now claims that Beck is a traitor and a “White House operative.” Imagine being so crazed and extreme that Glenn Beck is viewed as too moderate.

14 comments

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  1. 1
    eric

    I wonder if they actually believe their own hype, or whether they just occasionally get together, flip a coin, and say “okay, this month I will claim to be more right than you.”

  2. 2
    Doug Little

    eric @1,

    Sounds suspiciously like how they determine the outcome of professional wrestling matches or who is going to be a heel or a good guy at any given time. It’s all entertainment and zero reality.

  3. 3
    Doug Little

    Of course the same people who believe Beck or Jones probably believe professional wrestling is real as well.

  4. 4
    Pierce R. Butler

    “Damnit Alex, you blew Agent GB’s cover! I guess you don’t want any more of our Federal Reserve Notes, right?”

  5. 5
    Modusoperandi

    Jones should know that everybody’s in on the consipracy. Even him.

     
    Doug Little “Of course the same people who believe Beck or Jones probably believe professional wrestling is real as well.”
    It is real. You don’t go to Swan Lake and say “Pshaw! Fake!”, do you? Then why would you say that when the ballerinas are giant men hitting each other with chairs?

  6. 6
    Doug Little

    Modus,

    I never knew that Swan Lake was meant to be a royal rumble, it all makes sense now, Thanks.

  7. 7
    Modusoperandi

    Doug Little, SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY! IT’S THE GRUDGE MATCH OF THE CENTURY! TWO CHAMPIONS; ONE CHAMPIONSHIP! SWAN VERSUS LAKE! AT THE NATIONAL ARTS CENTER!

  8. 8
    felidae

    Sorry to disappoint you, Alex, but Beck works for Beck and no one else

  9. 9
    Doug Little

    Modus @7,

    Somehow I don’t think that the regular crowd would be impressed with all the foam fingers, they would get in the way of the opera glasses, and don’t get me started on the debarkle that would be intermission, no souvenir cups to be had anywhere.

  10. 10
    comfychair

    These people are impossible to satirize – I made a joke in a comment a while back about the exact same thing, that the totally unhinged conspiracy nuts are actually undercover White House operatives. The only rational explanation is that fking ALEX JONES read that comment, and as so often happens, completely missed the satire altogether.

  11. 11
    Nihilismus

    I seem to recall that when Alex Jones went on a gun rant after a mass shooting (I think Sandy Hook — there’s unfortunately too many different mass shootings for one to stand out), other conservatives were claiming that Alex Jones was a plant to make them look bad.

  12. 12
    comfychair

    So, in other words… ALEX JONES is a false flag operation? lol

  13. 13
    scott

    One of the scary ideas coming from the right wing these days is that nobody’s just *wrong* any more. Liberals don’t have just plain bad ideas, they’re un-American commie traitors scheming to replace Christianity with atheist-Islamic-Satanic-environmentalism (they’re not super clear on that point), destroy the family, make everyone gay, and abort all the babies.

    I suppose it goes back to the old legal saying “If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. If you have the law on your side, pound the law. If you have neither on your side, pound the table.” They don’t have the law, they don’t have the facts, they don’t have public opinion, and their ideas are provably wrong. So they’re just pounding the table.

  14. 14
    Doug Little

    scott,

    They are pounding something and it’s not the table.

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