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Apr 17 2014

Swanson: Gay People are Like Axe Murderers and Cannibals

The thoroughly unhinged Kevin Swanson is quite upset with Nabisco for using a same-sex couple in one of their commercials. And in the course of his usual idiotic screed he compares gay people to both axe murderers and cannibals. Oh, and Nabisco will suffer for their insolence.

When you come down to things like axe murder or homosexuality and you say, ‘we’re really going to promote it and we’re going to encourage everybody in America to engage in this or at least support this thing,’ there will be people on the other side who will take an adamantly opposed position to your support of axe murdering or homosexuality. They will be intolerant, they will be very intolerant of that which is evil, like axe murdering. Here’s my prognostication for Nabisco: I think they’re going to lose business. They say ‘we’ve got lots and lots and lots of positive comments,’ I think they said 50,000 positive comments or something.

Tough bananas, there are still going to be 28 percent, 38 percent, 47 percent of the market that will not go with it. So their decision to step out and say, ‘we’re going to take the lowest road possible on this, we’re going to support one of the most egregious things ever concocted since Nero — Nero being the one who came up with homosexual marriage, the namesake for it — we’re going to support the Neronic agenda,’ there will be I think 28 percent, 38 percent, it may eventually go as low as 28 percent, but you’re still going to get a pretty substantial bunch of Americans that will say, ‘hey, this is disgusting, Nabisco is disgusting.’…

Nabisco apparently came out with this ‘Wholesome’ ad for ‘Wholesome Honey Maid and Teddy Grahams,’ it’s causing a huge stir. The company is fighting the negativity with another ad called ‘Love.’ Here’s what happened: Nabisco presented an ad in which they equated mixed race families to single parent families to homosexual families, whatever that is, maybe they had another family where a dog is the wife with a human husband. Does the dog eat wholesome Nabisco doggy bones? So they come out with an ad, then they got backlash because not everybody felt it was wholesome…

Artists printed out the negative comments, rolled them all up and created a sculpture that reads ‘Love’ in cursive script. Isn’t that cute? That’s kind of cute. I wonder what God thinks about that? Didn’t God define love? See the problem with this ‘love’ thing is you can define it anyway you want. Homosexuals love their friends and cannibals love their victims, they taste good.

So do the tears of bigots.

26 comments

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  1. 1
    scienceavenger

    …he compares gay people to … cannibals.

    Well they do eat their own…

  2. 2
    Chiroptera

    Tough bananas, there are still going to be 28 percent, 38 percent, 47 percent of the market that will not go with it.

    Huh. I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I’m guessing that the vast, vast majority of cookie eaters don’t really deeply care one way or the other who Nabisco puts into their commericials.

  3. 3
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @1. scienceavenger : LOL.

    But axe murders? Seriously? (Really is hard to tell these days.)

  4. 4
    matty1

    And now live on stage the band you’ve all been waiting for Neronic Agenda!

  5. 5
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    .. So their decision to step out and say, ‘we’re going to take the lowest road possible on this, >>

    Kevin Swanson clearly doens’t know which way is up ie highor low here. Nabisco’s road is thehigh road, panderin’ to homophobes equals the opposite of that.

    .. we’re going to support one of the most egregious things ever concocted since Nero — Nero being the one who came up with homosexual marriage, the namesake for it — we’re going to support the Neronic agenda,’ ..

    Wut?

    Dafuck?

    Dude, Y’ever heard of the relationship of David and Jonathon? See eg :

    http://www.bricktestament.com/david_vs_saul/jonathan_and_david/1s20_17.html

    Wa-aay before Nero ya dickhead.

    Even a bible ref there to gay equal marriage if ya loo at it right :

    “Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, for we have sworn in the name of Yahweh that Yahweh will bond you and me and your descendants and my descendants forever.’ ( 1 Samuel 20:42)

    Kinda perhaps, sounds like to me anyhow. (Whole thing worth reading I reckon.)

  6. 6
    Usernames are smart

    Well they do eat their own…
    — scienceavenger (#1)

    That one did not even bounce.
    TrollScore™: 0/10

    FTFA:

    ~ maybe they had another family where a dog is the wife with a human husband.

    Sure, as soon as dogs can legally enter into contracts.

    Law, how does it work?

  7. 7
    Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao

    I like how he doesn’t mention that the cursive LOVE of the haters was completely dwarfed by the positive responses.

  8. 8
    greg1466

    And yet again with the animals. Methinks thou doth protest too much!

  9. 9
    Michael Brew

    Well they do eat their own…

    Ha, ha… cunnilingus.

  10. 10
    AsqJames

    Homosexuals love their friends and cannibals love their victims, they taste good.

    And we’re constantly told that Christians love sinners. Now we know what “love” means in that sense.

  11. 11
    Ray Ingles

    I can’t believe no one so far has said the obvious – better the Neronic agenda than Swanson’s Moronic one.

  12. 12
    John Pieret

    Axe murderers and cannibals? The race among bigots to make the craziest and most obnoxious comparisons of LGBT people to some evil thing must be nearing the finish line and Swanson must be ahead by a nose. Where can they go from here?

    But I actually hope they keep it up. When non-Talibangelicals hear this kind of stuff and then think of their family and friends who are gay, they are forced to realize that laws denying equal rights to gay people are based only on irrational fear and loathing. I suspect this kind of hateful rhetoric contributed mightily to the rapid turn-around in public opinion on SSM.

  13. 13
    dugglebogey

    Asking them to disagree but be tolerant of someone that is not hurting anyone or anything? Way too much to ask!

    The problem with this “love” thing? Seriously? You are not satisfied with not allowing gay people to get married, now you want to tell them whether or not they can love? Or who they are allowed to love?

    I don’t think I have bought graham crackers before in my entire life, but I picked up a box last weekend just as a “fuck you” to assholes like this.

    Your boycotts don’t work because they are based on hatred and fear (also latent homosexuality.) Nabisco will be fine, if not better off.

  14. 14
    Larry

    I guess the comparison-to-Nazis meme has run its course and just isn’t generating the cash flow it used to so cannibals are next on ever-dwindling list of bad things with which to compare gays.

  15. 15
    dingojack

    My Dear Swanson (ready for your close up?) -

    Keep digging, you’re only making your kind (homophobes) look more and more ridiculous with every syllable.

    Dingo.

  16. 16
    Loqi

    Gay marriage is named after Nero? There must be some translation going on of which I’m not aware…

  17. 17
    Sastra

    Didn’t God define love? See the problem with this ‘love’ thing is you can define it anyway you want.

    See the problem with this ‘God defines love” thing is you can define God any way you want. It’s no accident that human rights, tolerance and equality evolved from the ‘Age of Reason.’

  18. 18
    Drew Smith

    A comparison to cannibalism is highly amusing coming from an advocate of a religion that uses a ritual with the words “Take, eat, this is my body”.

  19. 19
    dingojack

    Sent a message thanking Swanson for advancing the cause equality by exposing the ugliness of the RRW’s outright bigotry to the general public – suggest you do the same.. I’d suggest you direct your (polite) comments to Kevin Swanson directly
    Dingo

  20. 20
    cptdoom

    Time for a new edition of Sesame Street’s “One of these things is not like the other; one of these things does not belong…” Let’s see two of the things involve murder and one does not. This IS a tough one.

  21. 21
    Area Man

    When you come down to things like axe murder or homosexuality and you say, ‘we’re really going to promote it and we’re going to encourage everybody in America to engage in this or at least support this thing,’ there will be people on the other side who will take an adamantly opposed position to your support of axe murdering or homosexuality. They will be intolerant, they will be very intolerant of that which is evil, like axe murdering.

    This has got to be the laziest style of argument I have ever seen. Just take something you don’t like and put it next to “axe murder” in every sentence.

  22. 22
    spacejunkie

    The problem with Christians and paedophiles is that they have no morals.

  23. 23
    Michael Heath

    John Pieret writes:

    Axe murderers and cannibals? The race among bigots to make the craziest and most obnoxious comparisons of LGBT people to some evil thing must be nearing the finish line and Swanson must be ahead by a nose. Where can they go from here?

    Well, they could compare gay people to that god who promises to cause unimaginable suffering to some for all eternity. I’m not sure you can get worse than that, where these bigots still have a long descent into depravity before they start comparing gays to their own god.

  24. 24
    baristopheles

    Next up, Nabisco’s homage to Lizzie Bordon.

  25. 25
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Statistically, the gay people I know share a lot in common with every serial killer about whom I have read.

    Most of the gay people I know have two hands with opposable thumbs. Likewise most serial killers.

    Most of the gay people I know have had sex. Likewise most serial killers.

    Most of the gay people I know have eaten lunch more than once – and usually they’ve made a habit of it. Likewise most serial killers.

    Where will the parallels end?

    Oh. Right. Most serial killers aren’t gay. Most gay folk aren’t serial killers. Why didn’t I see that coming…

  26. 26
    freehand

    I see these folks still don’t understand the difference between
    “I support the right of adults to smoke cigarettes”
    and
    “I support cigarette smoking”.
    .
    Their morality, always at the toddler level, still sees no role for informed consent,
    .
    Aaannd…
    Didn’t God define love? See the problem with this ‘love’ thing is you can define it anyway you want.
    So God defines a word that can mean anything we want? When I hear another humanist say “I love my sweetie” or “I love my kids” I pretty much know what they mean. Since the childhood environment of a religious fundamentalist family is that of an abused child and abusive father, I guess it’s not surprising that they would be confused about the word “love”. (And I am not discounting its many multiple flavors – sane people can usually tell the meaning from context.)
    .
    Just like axe murderers, they are.

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