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Mar 31 2014

Steven Seagal Loves Him Some Putin

Our favorite washed-up has-been actor and weapons-grade moron Steven Seagal is finally speaking out about Putin’s invasion of Crimea — and thank goodness, haven’t we all been waiting for his thoughtful reaction to it? — and he’s all for it. And he thinks Putin is so peachy that he just might apply for Russian citizenship.

American action movie star Steven Seagal has given state-run newspaper Rossiskaya Gazeta a whopping 2,000 word interview in which he expressed support for Russia’s actions in Crimea…

Seagal, a Republican who is thought to be a relatively close acquaintance of Putin partly due to their shared love of martial arts, said that Putin is “one of the great living world leaders” and that he “would like to consider him as a brother.” Earlier this month he helped Putin promote the relaunch of a physical fitness program discontinued after the fall of the Soviet Union.

This is not the first time that the action star and former deputy sheriff has spoken to Kremlin-run media about the situation in Ukraine. Last month English language television station RT brought on Seagal, 61, as an expert panelist on the situation in the country.

I guess Victoria Jackson was busy.

In addition to discussing Ukraine during the interview — published Wednesday — the newspaper asked whether Seagal would run for governor of Arizona, to which the actor said it was more important to be a peacemaker than the leader of a state.

Seagal also said that although he loves the United States, it is possible — “sometime” — that he will follow the lead of French movie star Gerard Depardieu and take Russian citizenship.

Please do. And then move there. And then shut the fuck up. Actually, shut the fuck up first.

21 comments

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  1. 1
    raven

    And he thinks Putin is so peachy that he just might apply for Russian citizenship.

    If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

    Won’t happen. He is too busy terrorizing Hispanics with his buddie Arpio.

    If it was true, we could raise enough for his one way ticket to Russia in a heartbeat.

  2. 2
    John Pieret

    If we send a weapons grade moron to Russia, can that be deemed an act of war?

  3. 3
    lordshipmayhem

    Actually, add two vowels to the end of that name and you have poutine. And nothing clogs up your arteries more than poutine… and nothing clogs up the arteries of democracy like Putin. Coincidence?

  4. 4
    Akira MacKenzie

    John Pieret @ 2

    Considering the Russian penchant for homophobia and brutal authoritarianism, I’d say we’d be stockpiling weapons.

  5. 5
    Reginald Selkirk

    Our favorite washed-up has-been actor and weapons-grade moron…

    Ed, you’ve got to be more specific. I was expecting another Chuck Norris post.

  6. 6
    rabbitscribe

    Don’t let the door hit you where the descent with modification of all life on Earth from a single common ancestor split you!

  7. 7
    Doc Bill

    The irony is that Putin is a Real Man ™ while Segal is a poseur actor who plays “Real Men” in the movies.

  8. 8
    marcus

    “…Putin is a Real Man ™”
    Hardly, considering most of his “manly” exploits are staged.
    I thinks he’s just a “Real Asshole™” and it’s something that they have that in common.

  9. 9
    vmanis1

    Why does Mr Seagull hate America?

  10. 10
    jba55

    I find it interesting that Mr Seagal is a Republican but he at least used to have a real thing for loving the planet and such. That never gets talked about when the right is discussing his ever so important views.

    @9 Look, that’s just not right. He said he loved America and since he’s a Republican that means you can’t question him on that. In fact I just remembered that I once saw him with two, no, five flag lapel pins on once!

  11. 11
    busterggi

    Segal is standing right behind Ted Nugent in the line for Russian citizenship.

  12. 12
    democommie

    @11:

    Unlike Teddybags, Stevie won’t shit his pants till AFTER he gets to Russia.

  13. 13
    chilidog99

    Promises, promises.

  14. 14
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Steven Seagal is finally speaking out about Putin’s invasion of Crimea — and thank goodness, haven’t we all been waiting for his thoughtful reaction to it? — and he’s all for it. And he thinks Putin is so peachy that he just might apply for Russian citizenship.

    Worst (and also a day too early although not here now) April Fools joke ever, Steven Seagal.

  15. 15
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @10. jba55 :

    I find it interesting that Mr Seagal is a Republican but he at least used to have a real thing for loving the planet and such. That never gets talked about when the right is discussing his ever so important views.

    Yes indeed. Steven Seagal turning out to be a right-wing nasty republican after seeing him star in movies like ‘On Deadly Ground’ (see : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Deadly_Ground ) and ‘Fire Down Below’ where he played an EPA agent who fought corrupt locals and big business douchebags really surprises me. Not what I expected or how I thought he felt and thought at all.

    Then again, I still find it hard to believe Orson Scott Card turned out to have or evolve into having such bigoted horrible views either. Disappointing and baffling in both cases.

  16. 16
    Raging Bee

    Hardly, considering most of his “manly” exploits are staged.

    Something Putin, Seagal, Hitler and most of today’s Republican Party have in common.

  17. 17
    mikeyb

    Another supporter of blood for oil and hes a republican, what else is new.

  18. 18
    matty1

    Has anyone told him Russia is *whisper* foreign?

  19. 19
    Anri

    I always knew he was a good martial artist and a shitty actor, but apparently I wasn’t paying enough attention to have realized he was a terrible human being too.
    Thanks for the heads up.

  20. 20
    coffeehound

    He was talking about running for Governor of Arizona, so, yes, please leave. Russia’s loss is Arizona’s gain.
    (mind you I’d love to see him run for the pure entertainment value, but with our record of electing asshats I wouldn’t be able to rule out having to call this clown Governor Seagal).

  21. 21
    democommie

    @15:

    StevoR; Seagal has been a shit for a lot of years. His movies haven’t reflected his actual take on most things for a long time and he’s been a KKKonservapimp for at least the the last 15 years. I speedwatch his films to see just what sort of sadistic goreporn he’ll get into. He likes beating the ” bad guys” to death.

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