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Mar 29 2014

It’s Another Worldnetdaily Adverticle

Hey look, the Worldnetdaily has another adverticle — an advertisement disguised as an article — for a book they’re pushing hard and profiting from. The absurd hook for the story is that the author is going to appear on Fox News as an “expert” on Noah’s Ark.

Before Hollywood’s “Noah” starring Russell Crowe washes into movie theaters across the country, catch the truth about the real Noah on the Fox News Channel Thursday at 12 noon EST, when “Noah: The Real Story” author and biblical expert Larry Stone talks with Lauren Green.

Stone will set the record straight on Director Darren Aronofsky’s film, with detailed truth regarding the historical flood and the building of the Ark.

While Aronofsky’s movie carries a disclaimer at the start of the film stating it deviates from biblical truths, Stone is an expert on the actual Noah account.

Ah yes, the “detailed truth” about Noah’s Ark. I can give that to you: It never happened. It’s an ancient story recycled over and over again in the Ancient Near East, wildly exaggerated every time. At some point, some guy may have managed to wait out a local flood with some of his livestock in a boat, but that has pretty much nothing to do with the patently absurd story in the Bible.

For centuries, American monks, Russian soldiers, German scientists, an English politician, an American astronaut and a “Baywatch” star have looked for it.

And none of them have ever found it. Coincidence?

12 comments

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  1. 1
    tuibguy

    Well, if a “Baywatch” star couldn’t find it, it can’t be found. Because, those people know about watercraft.

  2. 2
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Ah well its of Noah account anyhow! ;-)

    (Ba-dum-tish! Yeah I know I’m not giving up my day job.)

  3. 3
    Modusoperandi

    For centuries, American monks, Russian soldiers, German scientists, an English politician, an American astronaut and a “Baywatch” star have looked for it.

    Actually, they all found it. The ark is in each of us, deep down inside, where it’s a terrible place to keep animals. And this, little Billy, is where farts come from.

  4. 4
    had3

    Diarrhea maybe, as the flood resides, but not farts.

  5. 5
    Pierce R. Butler

    … American monks, Russian soldiers, German scientists, an English politician, an American astronaut and a “Baywatch” star have looked for it.

    The script practically writes itself – and the Turkish highways around Ararat are perfect for the car chase scenes!

  6. 6
    Larry

    Outside of a few sentences in the bible, there is nothing else about Noah and his boat in the historical records. How hard can it be to become an “expert” on those few lines? If Stone then posits anything that isn’t in the biblical account, it has no more authenticity than the movie does. He is just making up shit about something that is already fiction. Unless, of course, he is using Bill Cosby’s riff on Noah as a reference.

  7. 7
    Baktru

    “Stone is an expert on the actual Noah account.”

    So, he actually read it?

  8. 8
    Thorne

    “So, he actually read it?”
    Maybe he was there?

  9. 9
    Jessica Thibodaux

    what Gerald said I’m alarmed that some people can profit $4254 in four weeks on the internet . try this out

    >>>>>>>> WWW.B­­A­­­Y­­­­9­­­­­1.C­O­M

  10. 10
    timgueguen

    The article blurb forgot the Death Merchant. He went looking for the Ark as well. Of course in his case it was a cover to spy on those damn Soviets, or “pig farmers” as he liked to call them. See Death Merchant 25, The Enigma Project for details.

  11. 11
    tfkreference

    Larry:

    Unless, of course, he is using Bill Cosby’s riff on Noah as a reference.

    I consider Cosby’s to be the definitive account.

  12. 12
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    From the OP:

    For centuries, American monks, Russian soldiers, German scientists, an English politician, an American astronaut and a “Baywatch” star have looked for it.

    And none of them have ever found it. Coincidence?

    …or SATAN????

    @ tfkreference:

    I consider Cosby’s to be the definitive account.

    What’s a cubit?

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