David Brody’s Pathetic Attempt to Defend God


David Brody, Pat Robertson’s “reporter” for the 700 Club, is mighty upset with Bill Maher for calling God a “psychotic mass murderer” (and he is, if the Bible is to be believed). And he’s offering some spectacularly stupid arguments in defense of his God and against Maher.

Bill, first of all: God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants. He doesn’t answer to Bill Maher or me or anybody.

Ah yes, the “he’s bigger than you and he can kick your ass, so you better shut up” argument. Very compelling.

Do I have all the answers when it comes to Noah and the ark? No. It’s called a miracle by God. God can suspend natural order to do whatever He wants even if Bill Maher can’t understand it. But if Bill wants some scientific proof, he can go to this really cool thing called “Google” and see it for himself.

Most scientists agree that there is ample evidence of a universal flood dating to Noah’s time. Look it up, Bill. It’s everywhere and many of the scientists are liberals! Those are your “peeps.”

Um. What? Mr. Brody, please name some of those “liberal scientists” who believe in a global flood 4500 years ago. Hell, just name one of them in geology. We’ll wait. And no, “most scientists” do not agree. In fact, only a handful of geologists in the entire world believe such nonsense (Snelling, Austin, Wise…that’s about it).

Oh, and by the way 60 percent of people in America believe the story of Noah’s ark is true. That puts you in the minority but at least that’s a better place to be than hell.

Unfortunately, that’s the location you’re heading unless you repent and give your life over to Jesus. He LOVES you Bill, He loves me, you and every person reading this article right now.

Oh boy, an argument from popularity and “you’re gonna burn in hell.” How terribly convincing.

Comments

  1. dshetty says

    God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants.
    except rid the world of cancer or starvation or evil or…

  2. raven says

    Bill, first of all: God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants.

    Divine Command Theory. One of the more evil of the many evil doctrines of the fundies.

    Brody is admitting his god is a Sky Monster and a moral monster.

    He does have one redeeming quality however. He doesn’t exist.

  3. scienceavenger says

    Your buddy Moose is sort of a thug.

    Ay! Moose can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants. He doesn’t answer to you or me or anybody…

  4. Chiroptera says

    God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants.

    Ah, thug-based ethics. It is my opinion that anyone who thinks this is a reasonable argument for the goodness of God really doesn’t understand ethics very well.

  5. dhall says

    #1 – I guess it means that if god can do anything he wants, then maybe he doesn’t want to rid the world of cancer or starvation, or evil, etc. Or, he really can’t do anything he wants. Or, as raven phrases it, he has that one redeeming quality. Such a nasty, nonexistent creature though.

  6. machintelligence says

    I just got a BINGO on my Christian Apologetics Bingo (TM) card. I can’t show it to you though, you will just have to take it on faith.

  7. raven says

    In U.S., 3 in 10 Say They Take the Bible Literally – Gallup
    www .gallup.com/poll/148427/say-bible-literally.aspx‎

    Jul 8, 2011 – The high point in the percentage of Americans favoring a literal interpretation of the Bible was 40%, recorded in 1980 and 1984. The low point …

    That 60% for believing Noah’s Ark is likely wrong.

    According to a recent poll, only 30% of Americans are biblical literalists. And xians only make up 68% and dropping and most xians aren’t biblical literalists.

  8. dingojack says

    “…. God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants….”

    So, can he create a stone so large he can’t roll it?

    Dingo
    ——–
    My favourite bit is the Argumentum ad Google…..
    You can almost hear them wetting their pants in excitement and squealing ‘ ooooh that’s just gotta convince them! Checkmate Atheists!!!” @@

  9. Trebuchet says

    I initially read the last two words of the post title as “defund God”. Not a bad idea, actually.

  10. Randomfactor says

    So mass murder is OK if a god does it. There’s that Christian “relative morality” for you. Morals change depending on whom you’re talking about.

  11. matty1 says

    This is what I found through Google, it was posted to the interwebs in 2002 and quotes a speech given in 1831.

    Bearing upon this difficult question, there is, I think, one great negative conclusion now incontestably established — that the vast masses of diluvial gravel, scattered almost over the surface of the earth, do not belong to one violent and transitory period. It was indeed a most unwarranted conclusion, when we assumed the contemporaneity of all the superficial gravel on the earth

    This was a statement by an eminent geologist and a devout Christian who wanted there to be evidence of a global flood and could not find it.

    Once again this was 1831, before Darwin published, before Bill Maher was a twinkle in Satan’s eye, before even the earliest date the Obama Time Machine has reached. Why nearly 200 years later are there still people who don’t get it?

  12. says

    Bill, first of all: God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants. He doesn’t answer to Bill Maher or me or anybody

    Same argument works for bacteria. How about that!

  13. notyet says

    Short Brody; If Bill Maher doesn’t start kissing Hanks ass, Hank is going to kick the shit out of him.

  14. says

    The fawning adults from the old Twilight Zone episode who repeated “It’s good that Anthony wished them into the cornfield…” had a better argument.

  15. Michael Heath says

    Ed’s lede:

    David Brody, Pat Robertson’s “reporter” for the 700 Club, is mighty upset with Bill Maher for calling God a “psychotic mass murderer” (and he is, if the Bible is to be believed).

    Actually the Bible portrays a god far more evil than a mass murderer. Causing people to suffer for eternity is infinitely more evil than mere mass murder.

    The fact Christians celebrate such a supposed god who supposedly will be condemning some to an eternity of suffering is not something I’ve ever encountered any Christian credibly confronting, let alone attempt to defend.

  16. Michael Heath says

    David Brody writes:

    Do I have all the answers when it comes to Noah and the ark? No. It’s called a miracle by God.

    What a moron; arguments from ignorance are weak-ass. I especially cringe at the popular, “because he’s holy” reply along with other quips that assert their claims about God’s nature are beyond human comprehension. No, those who who espouse such are dumb-asses who can’t or won’t adapt their position to the facts while cowardly seeking a avoidance tactic.

    It’s also highly dishonest for David Brody to falsely claim that which is falsified did happen and was a, “miracle from God”. The evidence is in Mr. Brody, Noah’s flood as described in the OT did not happen.

    David Brody writes:

    God can suspend natural order to do whatever He wants even if Bill Maher can’t understand it.

    This is the worst sort of Christian lie I hear from all Christians, not just conservative Christians. And that’s framing their belief as if it’s objective truth. This is one very popular type of lie Christians in general use to abuse children in their attempts to indoctrinate them into their beliefs.

    But imagine how difficult it would be for Christians to honestly teach their beliefs to others without lying about what they believe. They can’t factually assert Jesus was a historical person, let alone God. They can’t even assert he was crucified, let alone resurrected. So there’d be a lot of “supposedly” and similar qualifiers; all making for a very awkward dialogue.

  17. theguy says

    “God is God and that means He can do whatever he wants, anytime He wants, for any reason He wants”

    So Christian ethics boils down to “might makes right.” How much do you want to bet this Brody douche thinks he’s better than atheists?

    From what I’ve seen, moral relativism is fairly common among fun dies.

  18. cptdoom says

    Most scientists agree that there is ample evidence of a universal flood dating to Noah’s time. Look it up, Bill. It’s everywhere and many of the scientists are liberals! Those are your “peeps.”

    I have no doubt scientists in the Mediterranean have discovered evidence of regional flooding that could be the basis for the Noah myth, but the only evidence of anything approaching “global flooding” is actually the Ice Age, when there sure was a lot of water covering a lot of the earth, but you couldn’t float on it.

    God can suspend natural order to do whatever He wants …

    Yet you still believe X-rays and laboratory tests performed by scientists that explain and assess your health status, right? What if God simply suspended the natural order to make the X-ray look like that? How can you trust any scientific outcome?

  19. gopiballava says

    Some Christians use the Greek word “agape” to refer to God’s love for us. They seem to do it because it sounds mysterious and special.

    I used to think that they were being silly. But as I have read more of the bible, I’ve come to agree at least partially with them. They think that translating “agape” to “love” misses some of the subtle meanings of the word. I would go further and suggest that we need to revisit our understanding of Ancient Greek. If agape is indeed the right word to describe how god feels about us, it doesn’t fit any contemporary definition of love.

  20. scienceavenger says

    Then it’s official: David Brody has invented The God of the Gangsters fallacy

  21. howardhershey says

    So his argument is,, “Sure god is a psychopathic mass murderer, but he has the ultimate get-out-of-jail card: you can’t find him, prevent him from his psychopathic ways, nor punish him for being the ultimate asshole.”

  22. Christoph Burschka says

    Unfortunately, that’s the location you’re heading unless you repent and give your life over to Jesus. He LOVES you Bill

    That’s so close to being a literal quote from George Carlin.

    He has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!

    But He loves you.

  23. abb3w says

    Saying someone feels he can do whatever he wants, anytime he wants, for any reason he wants would seem evidence to support the allegation of the someone being psychotic, at least in the sense of colloquial usage. (It looks like “psychopathic” might be more precise psychology jargon; however, colloquial doesn’t appear to distinguish the two.)

    @7, raven

    That 60% for believing Noah’s Ark is likely wrong.

    More specific polling data would appear to contradict your expectation. There was a 2004 ABC News poll that specifically asked about “The story of Noah and the ark in which it rained for 40 days and nights, the entire world was flooded, and only Noah, his family and the animals on their ark survived“; 60% favored considering it as “literally true, meaning it happened that way word-for-word“, as opposed to 33% who favored the view that “it’s meant as a lesson, but not to be taken literally“.

    In so far as the Gallup (and GSS question) on the attitudes to the Bible (as the Inerrant Word Of God) has consistently remained within about ±3% over 1990-2012, it would seem likely that attitudes on the Ark haven’t changed much since the 2004 poll; and thus 60% is likely still pretty close to the current number.

    @10, randomfactor

    So mass murder is OK if a god does it.

    Hmm.

    Conversation with Aibynn was more interesting than the interrogations, when he wasn't drumming, but he didn't say anything that helped me figure out if he was really working with them or not. At one point he made a passing reference to the gods. I considered the differences between Dragaeran attitudes toward the divine and Eastern attitudes, and said, "What are gods?"
    "A god," he said, "is someone who isn't bound by natural laws, and who can morally commit an action which would be immoral for someone who wasn't a god."
    "Sounds like you memorized that."
    "I have a friend who's a philosopher."

    [...]

    "And Aibynn ..."
    "Yes?"
    "I think you were wrong about the gods."
    "Oh?"
    "I think when a god does something reprehensible, it's still reprehensible."

  24. raven says

    That 60% for believing Noah’s Ark is likely wrong.

    More specific polling data would appear to contradict your expectation. There was a 2004 ABC News poll that specifically asked about “The story of Noah and the ark in which it rained for 40 days and nights, the entire world was flooded, and only Noah, his family and the animals on their ark survived“; 60% favored considering it as “literally true, meaning it happened that way word-for-word“, as opposed to 33% who favored the view that “it’s meant as a lesson, but not to be taken literally“.

    In so far as the Gallup (and GSS question) on the attitudes to the Bible (as the Inerrant Word Of God) has consistently remained within about ±3% over 1990-2012, it would seem likely that attitudes on the Ark haven’t changed much since the 2004 poll; and thus 60% is likely still pretty close to the current number.

    Yeah, I saw that in my Google search.

    1. The 2004 poll says 60% are Noah believers.

    2. The Gallup 2011 poll says only 30% of the US population are biblical literalists.

    3. The latest Harris poll says only 68% of the US population are xians. Most xians aren’t biblical literalists.

    See the problem here? These numbers contradict each other.

    The 2004 poll is the outlier and likely wrong. But it would be better to get some more current data.

  25. Donnie says

    My understanding from Ed’s summary is this:

    “God is a bully, and David Brody is god’s toady?”

    Does that sum it up?

  26. suttkus says

    I believe the argument is, “God’s a bully and a thug, but he’s the bestest bully and thug, evar! And we love bullies and thugs because they are manly!”

  27. freehand says

    In fact, only a handful of geologists in the entire world believe such nonsense
    .
    None of them believe such nonsense for scientific reasons. They believe it for religious reasons, or (rarely) because they are bad scientists working outside their field, or have some mental disorder.

  28. abb3w says

    @27, raven

    See the problem here? These numbers contradict each other.

    The contradiction appears primarily to be from how you are presenting the Gallup question and results. While ~30% say the Bible is “the actual Word of God and is to be taken literally” and thus clearly seem literalists, the wording of the second option (held by ~50%) is to view it as “the inspired Word of God but not everything in it should be taken literally” — which still, however, leaves the option that the ~50% may still take some portions of it literally. If slightly more than half of those considering it Inspired include the Flood as one of the things which should be taken literally (while feeling something else shouldn’t), that would account for the seeming discrepancy.

    While I turn up several reports of religion-related Harris polls, I’m not turning up any reports giving the fraction of the US which is Christian (or even Protestant and Catholic). The most recent data I can turn up from the GSS (YEAR=2012; counting RELIG responses 1,2,10, and 11) suggest the level is nearer 75%; that from Gallup, 74% (2013, counting Protestant, Catholic, and nonspecific, but excluding Mormons) ; assorted 2013 samples from the Pew Forum look to have mostly ranged 72-74% (with one at 69%). That seems to suggest that instead the Harris poll is the outlier, possibly from using a significantly non-standard wording or substantially different sampling methodology. Can you provide a link to the poll’s topline and methodology report?

    I agree more recent data would be better. However, I believe the existing data is fundamentally supportive of the 60% claim.

  29. freehand says

    It’s called a miracle by God. God can suspend natural order to do whatever He wants even if Bill Maher can’t understand it.
    .
    Sure, but then he would have had to perform hundreds of miracles to hide copious, multitudinous, and pervasive evidence which the Global Flood would have produced. Not to mention the laws of physics would have had to work very differently before. Exempli gratia,
    1. The rainbow was first seen after the Floodwaters receded. How did optics change from before? How could human eyes have refracted light to see with, when water droplets didn’t refract as they do now?
    2. Speaking of which, it didn’t rain before the flood. Plants were “watered by a mist that came up from the ground”. So water didn’t evaporate and condense? How did sweating cool us off, where did rivers come from?
    3. How did two of each species (or worse, “kind”) evolve into all of the different individuals with their varied genomes which we see today. No biologist would speculate on such warp drive evolution. Has every birth of every creature since the flood been a miracle – just to hide the crime?
    4. How did the koalas get to Oz? If the continents were conjoined just a few thousand years ago, they were sailing through the crust like racing yachts, would have caused earthquakes many magnitudes greater than we’ve seen since civilization began, and probably melted everything down to the mantle. And somehow did all of this without disturbing the delicate layers laid down in a miraculous but misleading manner by the mendacious flood.
    5. I have heard that the simpler fossils of animals are lower down because the smarter or faster ones headed for high ground. I’ve seen fossil bivalves off the trails in the Appalachian Mountains. Were those clams smarter, or faster than T. Rex?
    .
    And a hundred more, but I can’t type as fast as I can rant at arrogant, proudly ignorant golems..These doorstops take pride in refusing to learn anything; they see a lack of introspection as a virtue, and consider acquiring education to be moral contest of sorts: how much information and explanation can I throw at some spittoon smugly smiling at me without him actually learning anything?

  30. dingojack says

    So it seems that Brody is god’s (see def’n 2) ‘fag’ (in the English ‘public’ school tradition), but the late Phelps Senior asserts that god hates fags…. so clearly god hates Brody….
    Dingo)

  31. coffeehound says

    Shorter Brody, “God is NOT a psychopath! And if you don’t come over here and love him unconditionally, no matter what abhorrent thing he does, he’s gonna go over there and KICK YOUR ASS!”
    Oh, yeah. I’m feeling the love.

  32. Crudely Wrott says

    Just winging this one without reading the OP but here’s this:

    The Greatest Guy In The Universe Needs Defense?

    Whaaa?

  33. raven says

    It’s called a miracle by God. God can suspend natural order to do whatever He wants even if Bill Maher can’t understand it.

    If god can do anything, he could have just poofed miracles and fixed the people of Noah’s time. Forgiven their sins, given them better brains, made them inclined to follow his commandments (which didn’t exist yet), or just disappeared them instantly.

    He didn’t have to drown all but 8 people and destroy the biosphere.

    A being that can perform any miracles one can think of but instead tortures millions in the Big Boat operation, which failed anyway, is an incompetent moral monster.

  34. leonardschneider says

    Aw, poor widdle Young Earth Creationist: he’s scared!

    I’ve come to the conclusion that YECs are, at heart, frightened of really big numbers. Like thirteen billion, the age of the universe (give or take a few hundred million years)…. They can’t wrap their brains around it.

    Some other big numbers:
    – Age of the earth: 4.54 billion years
    – Age of earliest known biped (“Lucy”): 3.18 million years
    – Age of homo sapiens (“modern man”): Approximately 200 thousand years

    Those numbers are terrifying to the YECs. A number like six thousand, that’s something they feel they have control over. The idea that our species, our world, our universe can be so old that they go into a form of intellectual shutdown. Those big numbers boggle the mind, so they refuse to accept them as being real, clinging to a universe and world with a nice low age, something that fits on the trip-meter on your car. Even throwing them a bone and suggesting that (a) god kick-started the whole game 13 billion years ago won’t make them happy, not a bit. They need a god who’s a micromanager, who has decided that, out of all the glory that is this universe, he’s gonna keep his eyes on this one little rock and constantly meddle in what happens. After all, why else would teams pray before football games? God couldn’t possibly have better shit to do….

    How’d I find these numbers? I took Brody’s advice and used Google…. Discarding any page names or URLs with the word “Ministries” in them. Experience has taught me those sites have an axe to grind.

    (And 60% of Americans believe that Noah”s Ark was a thing? Yeah, and about the same percentage believe playing the Powerball Lotto will pay off for them. Can’t fix stupid.)

  35. khms says

    #18 Michael Heath

    Actually the Bible portrays a god far more evil than a mass murderer. Causing people to suffer for eternity is infinitely more evil than mere mass murder.

    That may be, but he is still the worst serial mass murderer in the universe. Going by the bible, he kills 100.00% of all people (as in, the fact that people die is a punishment for eating one fruit – and, didn’t that include all animals?). Biillions and biillions …

    I think we might be wrong to assume incompetence. More likely it’s just plain sadism.

    From which I conclude that either there will actually be nobody saved in the end (“And you actually believed believing in Jesus would save you? Sucker!”), or else he’ll carefully select a few nice people and make sure to torture all friends and family of them in their sight.

  36. says

    I skipped to the end, here, because I’m sure that whatever I might have said was said by someone more reasonable and less inflammatory. but…

    Ed made a plea, today, for atheists to stop doing certain things and a lot of discussion has gone on in that thread. So, in the spirit of that, I’d like to see people NOT using “Checkmate, atheist!” in their comments. I admit that it is pithy and has a sort of purity and economy that long, screeching diatribes by, well, some people who comment here–okay, ME–with a veritable plethora of profanity, lack. However, the FUCKING FUNDIES don’t PLAY CHESS! They play checkers. Okay, I feel much better, now.

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