Worst. Preacher. Ever.


In the late 90s/early 00s there was a local televangelist who had a show on public access TV in Lansing, Michigan. I don’t remember his name but I remember him being the worst preacher I’d ever seen. This guy is almost as bad. Seriously, you won’t regret watching this:

This, on the other hand, you may regret watching. But I think it’s hysterical.

The comments on that last one are just hilarious.

God Bless you Patrick..God is using you through music to get his word out to the masses! 

*headdesk* Then he gets into an argument with another fundie who says:

When someone says that you can get saved by watching/reading (MY) material, I go into automatic “watch” mode. Why focus them to YOU? Why not SHARE THE GOSPEL? Even if you have done so before, do it again. It’s JESUS CHRIST that should be getting the glory, not a mere human being.

And he replies:

Satan is strong in you. You sin & I rebuke you & you sin again saying I give hatred. Oh, well. Your sin doesn’t hurt me. It hurts you. Poor Satan says I’m probably cursing her. Haha, Satan who controls your thoughts has no truth. Let my accusers (ones who act like an adversary, the Hebrew word is satan) be clothed with shame, and let them cover themselves with their own disgrace as with a mantle – Psalm 109:29. Too bad Scripture PROVES I CAN tell who is going to heaven and who is going to hell. You phony Christians messed with the wrong person. I have the gift of discernment, you hypocrite who attacked me with false accusing rebuke but then says I can’t rebuke by saying I’m doing it with impubity. Read it and weep: But Peter said to him, “Your money perish with you, because you thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money. You have neither part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity.” – Acts 8:20-23.

Too bad I counter your words but you can’t answer up and discuss the matter or previous matters but can only do what you are a slave to = spewing more false accusations. You WILL repent or perish.

*pops some popcorn*

Comments

  1. daved says

    Just what is this “glory” stuff they go on and on about, anyway?

    I think it’s a Civil War movie starring Matthew Broderick and Denzel Washington.

  2. dingojack says

    Pierce R. Butler – ‘That’s quite enough of that subject, kindly choose another’
    DUH
    :) Dingo

  3. busterggi says

    ” Poor Satan says I’m probably cursing her. ”

    When did Satan become trans????

  4. coffeehound says

    Do I even want to what ‘impubity’ is?

    Pubic hair free from consequence?
    in a sentence; My pelvis has a mind of its own and has been spreading the crabs around town with impubity.

  5. Trebuchet says

    Doesn’t he know that electric guitars are Satan’s own instrument? Or maybe Satin’s own?

  6. René says

    I regret watching. What to call this? An extremely-idiot-way-of-disagreeing-with-something-stupid fallacy failing?

  7. Sastra says

    He does not fear Satan. He does not need to. Satan will never find him BECAUSE HE IS LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

  8. Sastra says

    Oh, and as for the second video, I got about 30 seconds into it, jumped out of my computer chair, and shouted “There’s our Hitler!!!”

    Better than Dick Shawn.

  9. greg1466 says

    I’m guessing that the Rapture has to be within the next 5 days because he needs the other hand to hold his bible. Oh, and he knows that getting a tattoo is a sin right?

  10. dhall says

    So . . . Satan is female. Somehow, it’s not a surprise that this guy would think so. And maybe the hair isn’t all real.

  11. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    Satan is strong in you. You sin & I rebuke you & you sin again saying I give hatred. Oh, well. Your sin doesn’t hurt me. It hurts you. Poor Satan says I’m probably cursing her. Haha, Satan who controls your thoughts has no truth. Let my accusers (ones who act like an adversary, the Hebrew word is satan) be clothed with shame, and let them cover themselves with their own disgrace as with a mantle . . . . Too bad I counter your words but you can’t answer up and discuss the matter or previous matters but can only do what you are a slave to = spewing more false accusations. You WILL repent or perish.

    Authentic frontier fundie gibberish.

  12. tbp1 says

    I used to spend a certain amount of time watching insane preachers on local public access. It drove my wife nuts.

    Our cable provider has gone through so many buyouts and other changes that I honestly don’t know if we even still have public access. Perhaps they have all migrated to YouTube anyway, rendering it a moot point. Still, I think I’ll check.

  13. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    @tbp1:

    I don’t know about your public access channels, but if your cable provider is carrying DayStar then you can always check in with Jack and Rexella Van Impe. They’re as looney as they come, just in a somewhat more sedate style than most.

  14. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    @dhall #15

    So . . . Satan is female.

    Maybe he’s been watching Mister Deity.

  15. grumpyoldfart says

    From what I can tell, he is mentally challenged and merely mimicking what he has seen other preachers do on TV. There is probably no emotion or understanding behind his words and actions; it’s pure mimicry. I knew a lad who talked about football in exactly the same way; mimicking what the radio commentators had said the day before. He sounded very knowledgeable but if you asked him ‘How many points in a goal?’ he would have had no idea.

  16. says

    From what I can tell, he is mentally challenged and merely mimicking what he has seen other preachers do on TV.

    I don’t think so. Sounds to me that he might have a mild case of cerebral palsy, if anything.

  17. says

    Here in Austin, there is (used to be?) a cable access preacher called “Reverend Ricky” who used to be rather entertaining. He was a strict 5-point Calvinist, more anti-feminist than Limbaugh (if possible) and a massive fan of the Beatles — at least the Beatles in the days before they caught “intellectual syphilis” and became hippies.

    To commemorate the sad day when the Beatles caught their “intellectual syphilis” and lost their way, he would wear a toilet seat around his neck.

    He would even play early Beatles songs on the air with the help of his two pre-teenage daughters. Must admit, that was heading into creepy territory.

    He would also allow people to call in, but not surprisingly, almost everyone who called did it to troll him so it was all rather a pointless exercise. I’m sure those on the Atheist Experience remember him well.

  18. anubisprime says

    Am I right in concluding that all you need to do in order to scam the sheeples is to say you are touched by god?

    Therefore no pressing need to study theology or sociology or in fact any course to set yourself up as a prophet and preacher as such?…are these dumbfucks on a register somewhere that does not include the title ‘sex offender’ ?

  19. says

    Okay, I listened to ’bout 30 seconds of that second video. “Stairway to Heaven”, my ass; more like “Express Elevator to Hell”.

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