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Mar 20 2014

Beck’s Weird Malaysian Airline Conspiracy Theory

I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that Glenn Beck has a weird conspiracy theory about the disappearance of the Malaysian airliner. I’ll put the video below the fold, but here’s the description of his theory by Right Wing Watch. It’s pretty funny stuff.

Seizing upon news that twenty employees from a company called Freescale Semiconductor were on board, Beck speculated that these employees had the technology and expertise to “cloak” the plane and make it invisible to radar and detection. As such, the plane was probably diverted to someplace like Pakistan where is could be hidden and repainted to look like a British Airways jet and then flow over the Atlantic Ocean low enough so as not to be seen by radar right below another British Airways jet, flying on the same path but at a much higher altitude and registering on radar. At some point, and without explaining how this would happen, Beck speculated that the real British Airways jet could then be blown out of the sky, allowing the stolen plane to “jump up” onto that flight path and cloak itself as the now destroyed jet and fly on to Washington, DC without raising any suspicions or setting off alarms.

Here’s the video:

30 comments

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  1. 1
    fifthdentist

    If they can cloak the plain so that it cannot be detected, what’s the point of the ruse of taking over another plane’s route.
    They could just, out of the blue, dive into their target of choice.

  2. 2
    DaveL

    Beck speculated that these employees had the technology and expertise to “cloak” the plane and make it invisible to radar and detection.

    Radar and detection? He thinks Freescale Semiconductor has developed a portable honest-to-goodness Star Trek cloaking device that its employees lug around in their carry-on luggage?

  3. 3
    John Pieret

    what’s the point of the ruse of taking over another plane’s route.

    Because, to conspiracy-minded folk, the more details (no matter how outlandish) a conspiracy-monger throws in, the more “believable” it is.

  4. 4
    Larry

    Wait a minute. Did I miss the part where he blames Obama for any part of this scenario?

  5. 6
    janiceintoronto

    Stupid man. Everyone knows it was the gays.

  6. 7
    Doug Little

    Is there some law that says the more elaborate and improbable a conspiracy theory is the better it is?

  7. 8
    Doug Little

    Did I miss the part where he blames Obama for any part of this scenario?

    Remember Obama has a time machine which he used to go back and erase anybodies memory that connected the dots as to Obama’s involvement in the disappearance.

  8. 9
    moarscienceplz

    Seizing upon news that twenty employees from a company called Freescale Semiconductor were on board, Beck speculated that these employees had the technology and expertise to “cloak” the plane and make it invisible to radar and detection.

    Yes, this is quite true. Everybody in Silicon Valley has this technology to hide our flying cars from the eyes of the rest of the world. Many of us also have bio-engineered croco-ducks in our backyards.

  9. 10
    caseloweraz

    DaveL: Radar and detection? He thinks Freescale Semiconductor has developed a portable honest-to-goodness Star Trek cloaking device that its employees lug around in their carry-on luggage?

    Sure! But see, they can only carry so many batteries for it — just enough to power it for an hour or so. That’s why they have to hide in the radar shadow of another airplane for most of the flight.

    (They thought about hijacking and cloaking a plane at an airport just an hour away from Washington. But, being in Texas, they decided changing planes with all that hardware was just too much trouble.)

  10. 11
    TxSkeptic

    Glenn Beck has gotten a divorce, d-i-v-o-r-c-e … from reality.

    So why did the hijackers need a cloaking device? They could just shadow another plane to become ‘invisible’.
    Here’s where that idea comes from. Did I also get a divorce? Read it and judge for yourself.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/03/17/1285431/-MH-370-New-Theory-Is-Pure-Genius-Almost
    and
    http://mh370shadow.com/post/80154688823/questions-answers-follow-up-1-how-did-malaysian

    I’ve got no idea who this Keith Ledgerwood guy is, but he has a decent sounding theory about MH370. Not being an authoritarian thinker, I really don’t care who he is, if his idea floats, it floats. I figure if his idea is true, the plane is probably somewhere in the ‘stans being seriously weaponized. Pretty scary. Also, if the intelligence community give it any credence, I don’t figure they’ll let on, lest they tip off the perps. We’ll hear about it when Seal Team 6 recovers or destroys the plane, hopefully.

  11. 12
    dingojack

    moarscienceplz – what use would a Silicon Valley Flying Car Cloak be? It just makes ‘em look like coaches with tinted windows. Not very useful for aircraft….
    :) Dingo

  12. 13
    Robert B.

    Well, yes, obviously. Everyone who’s taken a physics class knows that’s exactly what semiconductors do. Make things invisible. From the inside.

    I meant to post this some time ago, but I couldn’t see my computer.

  13. 14
    Muhammad Asif

    When minds get cloaked, start embedding illogical baseldss thoughts over internet, what to say? about Glenn Beck, better visit neurologist,

    Its Malaysian plane not the high velocity tennis ball that covered huge distances without fuel refill, getting new paint from Pakistan, and flown somewhere, how amazingly theory is presented?, portraying completely wrong image of Pakistan and I guess Glenn Beck playing with emotions of sufferer families, thats my addition for this blog, Think impartially and discuss :)

  14. 15
    Synfandel

    That’s a lot of trouble to go to when you could just get on the regularly scheduled British Airways flight instead.

  15. 16
    blf

    Can someone please cloak Beck? Preferably with something even more impenetrable than his skull, so that he disappears completely from whatever bit of reality he might still be attached to.

  16. 17
    Modusoperandi

    Beck is why your grandfather sounds like a crazy person now.

  17. 18
    corporal klinger

    Also, the Federation agreed in the Khitomer accords to not use cloaking technologies.
    Oh, wait, this is not ST, it’s reality.

  18. 19
    matty1

    I’m still not convinced that the simple fire hypothesis isn’t correct. I understand it has some problems with the relative timing of things but Occam’s razor alone suggests it requires fewer assumptions than stories about terrorists and secret technology.

  19. 20
    ShowMetheData

    “Millenium” with Al Waxman the King of Kensington !!!!! Fucking, eh!!

    Another top quality Canadian Heritage Moment :)
    Have to leave now; I need to scare away the snow snakes before they nibble on my snow-shoe bindings. Scram, snow-snakes, scram !

  20. 21
    d.c.wilson

    At some point, and without explaining how this would happen, Beck speculated that the real British Airways jet could then be blown out of the sky, allowing the stolen plane to “jump up” onto that flight path and cloak itself as the now destroyed jet and fly on to Washington, DC without raising any suspicions or setting off alarms.

    Wouldn’t the people in the blown up British Airways plane be missed? I mean, don’t any of them families or friends who might question when a plane full of totally different people lands in Washington?

  21. 22
    Hatchetfish

    Um, maybe I’m just a party pooper, but I read that summary (I am not watching Glenn Beck. Not without significant monetary compensation.) and immediately have to ask “Ok, but, why?”

    Ignoring implausibility, what would that get anyone? Or is this just one of those things the Illuminati occasionally do on a compulsive whim, sort of a “nya nya, because we can” flaunting of their powers, like the layout and hidden-in-plain-sight not-really-encrypted “secret codes” of the Denver airport?

  22. 23
    timgueguen

    TxSkeptic, if terrorists wanted to hijack a plane for future mayhem it would be far easier to have hijacked a cargo jet. Just a small crew to deal with, not 200 plus people. And its disappearance would have been a 3 day story in international newscasts, not the 2 week story we’re about to have.

  23. 24
    Kimpatsu

    Beck just described the plot of Steven Seagal’s next direct-to-video fiasco.

  24. 25
    thebookofdave

    @Doug Little #7

    Is there some law that says the more elaborate and improbable a conspiracy theory is the better it is?

    It’s right out of the Saul Alinsky playbook. A plot must be so convoluted and far-reaching that its very implausibility discredits the True Patriot™ who dares expose it. These are the forces pitted against Glenn Beck.

  25. 26
    davem

    I totally disbelieved Beck, until he pointed out that software might be aboard. I can now see that if a passenger had the latest copy of ‘Angry Birds’ on board, that alone would be a reason to kidnap the ‘plane

  26. 27
    dhall

    Seems like it would be easier just to copy the “Philadelphia Experiment.” After all, that involved teleportation, which is way faster than flying. And you only need 1940′s technology!

  27. 28
    garnetstar

    Beck’s wrong: it was because there were Romulans on board, everyone knows that they are the only ones with cloaking devices.

  28. 29
    dingojack

    It was snakes, snakes on the motherfuckin’ plane!!!
    (Snakes. Why did have to be snakes?)*
    Dingo
    ——–
    * I thought you was dead. :)

  29. 30
    nellwebbish

    I can’t be amused by this. That fatuous money-grubbing media whore Beck is spinning BS about people whose families are sitting around waiting to be told how and when they died. The families are trying to stop imagining what the last moments of their loved one’s lives must have been like, and this intellectually depraved piece of shit is trying to profit from that horrible uncertainty.

    It’s not funny at all. It’s drearily disgusting.

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