Quantcast

«

»

Mar 18 2014

‘Psychic’ Fraud Geller to Help Find Malaysian Plane

“Psychic” con man Uri Geller says he’s been called in to help find out what happened to the missing Malaysian plane. He’s using “remote viewing” — read: he’s pretending to be able to astral project around the planet — to figure out this mystery.

Psychic spoon-bender Uri Geller today revealed he has been asked to help find the missing Malaysia Airlines aircraft.

Almost a week after the flight MH370 disappeared with 239 people on board, the famous psychic has been asked to use his powers by a “substantial figure” in Malaysia…

Mar 14, 2014 16:02 By Richard Hartley-Parkinson
2169 Shares
Share
Tweet
+1
Email
The psychic said that he had been using “remote viewing” to discover the fate of the plane

Neil Atkinson / Sunday Mirror
Uri Geller at home
Psychic spoon-bender Uri Geller today revealed he has been asked to help find the missing Malaysia Airlines aircraft.

Almost a week after the flight MH370 disappeared with 239 people on board, the famous psychic has been asked to use his powers by a “substantial figure” in Malaysia.

And he revealed that he already has a theory that the pilots were overcome by an onboard fire.

Mr Geller’s assistance was revealed as Malaysian officials said that the search for the Boeing 777 was expanding into the Indian Ocean.

Mr Geller, who was a friend of Michael Jackson, has been using “remote viewing” in a bid to discover the fate of the plane and hopefully end the agony for the families of the missing.

“Remote viewing has been used by the CIA for decades,” said Mr Geller at his home in Sonning, Berkshire, today.

“It works by people sending their mind through space and time. I have been asked by quite a substantial figure in Malaysia what my feelings are about this situation.”…

He wrote: “I have been asked to help. I believe in remote viewing. Can you help me? Can you please try to ‘see’ where you believe the plane went down? How and why, what are your own feelings, what does you intuitive sense tell you. Thank you.”

He explained how the comments of his followers helped him to come to his own theory that something happened in the cockpit of the aircraft.

“It is my opinion that something happened to the pilot,” said Mr Geller.

“The pilot was either pushed into a situation to divert the plane by another force or he did it of his own accord.

“That is my opinion and it is only my opinion. It is what I had derived from my own personal intuitive feeling.”

Which is absolutely worthless, as usual. And I can tell you what his “feelings” are on the situation: “Oh goodie goodie, the world might pay attention to me again.” How do I know this? I must be psychic.

26 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    Blondin

    It will be found near water.

    Or it might not.

    That is my opinion which is mine.

  2. 2
    Mr Ed

    Astral project the original Google Earth.

  3. 3
    alanb

    The pilot was either pushed into a situation to divert the plane by another force or he did it of his own accord.

    That pretty much covers the options that everyone else is considering.

  4. 4
    Richard Smith

    That is my opinion and it is only my opinion.

    And what it is, too. [Ahem!]

  5. 5
    Raging Bee

    …the famous psychic has been asked to use his powers by a “substantial figure” in Malaysia…

    Maybe he should use his powers to find this guy’s exact name and title before agreeing to perform any services.

    Mr Geller’s assistance was revealed…

    …by whom?

    “It is my opinion that something happened to the pilot,” said Mr Geller.

    Well, yeah, we all knew that much as soon as the plane disappeared. “Something happened” to the plane, and the pilot was on it.

    I’m unemployed and this con-artist piece of shit is getting paid to spout empty nonsense?

  6. 6
    anubisprime

    this con-artist piece of shit is getting paid to spout empty nonsense?

    Because there is money in that thar bullshite!

    Geller is just the symptom…the disease is in the cretins that mindlessly and awestruck buy his bullcrap lock stock and by the stinking wheel barrow load!

    Same with any con, scam, fleecing…it is not the ‘artist’ is has always been the dumb fucks that enthusiastically fall for it.

    Churches would crumble if the eejits that sycophantically flock there every Sunday had a brain between them.

    They would have to buy their street cred by actually ‘being’ upstanding pillox of society instead of pretending they are!

  7. 7
    Donovan

    It’d be stupid of Geller to not try, though it’s monstrous of him to do this. If he doesn’t find help at all, nobody will care. He’s already been shown as a fraud on the Tonight Show in front of millions. Look how popular Jesus is, and he hasn’t helped with so much as cleaning the dishes.

    But if Geller says anything even remotely coincidental with the actual discovery of the plane, he’ll be hailed as a real deal and the money will come pouring in.

    He could, if he guesses close enough and has the right PR campaign, lead to a resurgence in mysticism.

    This should scare me, but I’ve grown tired of the rubes. They want to fall for it, and I have a hard time caring.

  8. 8
    Kevin Alexander

    Maybe he’s expecting a “substantial figure”

  9. 9
    John Pieret

    he’s pretending to be able to astral project around the planet

    Ed, you misspelled that … it’s asstrail projection.

  10. 10
    timgueguen

    It’s strange the places psychics turn up. There’s ongoing discussion of the disappearance in the off topic section of The Gear Page, a forum for guitar players. One member has been babbling nonsense about using “energetics” to make predictions and so forth.

  11. 11
    Georgia Sam

    I anxiously await CNN’s credulous interview with Geller,.

  12. 12
    Trebuchet

    Maybe Uri can channel the spirit of Sylvia Browne. She’d be sure to know what happened.

  13. 13
    mildlymagnificent

    Hell’s teeth.

    Even if there were such a thing as astral projection – the search area is now bigger than Australia. You’d need superpowers, not just flying, floating and flapping around, to actually identify anything at all. The idea of a speedy magical invisible gyrocopter being of any help is silly even if you believed in this rubbish.

  14. 14
    Big Boppa

    @13

    Maybe he said “Australia projection”.

  15. 15
    busterggi

    Chemtrails are the visible evidence of astral projection – pass it along and within a week it’ll be an accepted part of the mythology.

  16. 16
    ospalh

    “Overcome by an onboard fire”? You hardly need to be a psychic to have come up with that idea, as one of the three 777s lost earlier caught fire (luckily on the ground). Only, now it looks like the plane flew on for a while, without any indication of a fire.

  17. 17
    ospalh

    Oh, i see that any mention of a fire has conveniently disappeared from the official Mirror article.

  18. 18
    blf

    I suggest that when Mr Geller finally makes a guess, fly him to the guessed latitude and longitude. Then push him out of the aircraft. With a manually-operated parachute. As I recall, he claims to have been an Israeli paratrooper, and also claims to have made an impossible number of jumps whilst a paratrooper. So he should have no problem with parachuting down to the spot where the missing plane is…

  19. 19
    freehand

    “Remote viewing has been used by the CIA for decades,” said Mr Geller at his home in Sonning, Berkshire, today.
    .
    It was investigated as a serious possibility by the US CIA for about a decade, then given up as a waste of time. Wouldn’t a real psychic know that?

  20. 20
    coryat

    I still can’t read a piece about a psychic without getting the image of Cartman battling psychics from ‘Cartman’s Incredible Gift’ stuck in my head.

    ‘Then let this be our final battle!’

  21. 21
    Pieter B, FCD

    Mr Geller, who was a friend of Michael Jackson

    Didn’t help MJ much, did he?

    Hey Michael, I’ve got a bad feeling about using surgical anesthetics as sleeping aids. Maybe you should try some meditation or psychotherapy.

    said no psychic ever.

  22. 22
    democommie

    ” it’s asstrail projection”

    And those, NOT chemtrails are the real threat to humanity!

    “Oh, i see that any mention of a fire has conveniently disappeared from the official Mirror article.”

    I could have predicted that!

  23. 23
    dingojack

    Seems an Australian Orion found the plane – no payday for you, Uri. (how sad).
    Dingo

  24. 24
    colnago80

    Re Chihuahua @ #23

    Not so fast, it hasn’t been confirmed and it seems unlikely to me as the debris was found south of Australia which would indicate that hit flew over the continent without being detected.

    http://goo.gl/kmgr2u

  25. 25
    dingojack

    Nope some 2000Km south-west of Perth I heard, well out to sea*.
    A bigger question is – (assuming the wreckage is from MH370) what where they thinking?!?**
    Dingo
    ——-
    * * Although you are right, it has not been confirmed and it would take more than 8 hours of flying time to reach that location from the last known position.
    ** and how long before Our Fearless Leader gets the Navy to tow the wreckage to Indonesia? :/

  26. 26
    Tyler Bates

    Well calling someone a “fraud” is extreme. Just because his answer on the whereabouts of the plane was a guess as good as any doesn’t make one a fraud. Although too much attention is being given to him. He never truly answered where the plane was. He should just say he doesn’t know.

Leave a Reply

Switch to our mobile site