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Mar 10 2014

The REAL Real Reason for the Ukraine Situation

I know this is going to shock you, but the Republicans are wrong about Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. It isn’t because of Benghazi or the Keystone pipeline or Obama’s weakness or even voter fraud or Obamacare. It’s because of pyramids in Crimea built by aliens during the Jurassic period that may be a real-life stargate to other worlds. Sharon Hill has the scoop.

I won’t link to misinformation sites but here is what they are saying:

THIS IS JUST MIND BLOWING! VERY LITTLE INFO OUT THERE ON THESE PYRAMIDS! BUT WE KNOW 2 THINGS FOR SURE.
1, THEY ARE BEING CALLED THE OLDEST,
2, THEY ARE THERE!! and so are Russian Troops!

-From Disclose.tv

Now THIS is more like the REAL—or at least one of the BIGGEST—reasons for the action in the Ukraine. It’s probably also about other things, but the New World Order has systematically seized areas before that we later learned gave them access to advanced ancient technologies which they guard ferociously.

-From 2012TheBigPicture…

Pyramids were once power stations that feed near by citys. Not all of them but most were. The Moon and mars and many of the planets have Pyramids that once feed power to citys and complexs. We can only just now study them for as how they had worked but they were much like our power stations of today. The pyrimids were just a way of life for millions of thriving citys. Dinosurs were just part of the enviroment and have also left there mark through out the planets due to mans expansion beyond earth.

Sounds totally credible, doesn’t it? Oh, and this was the whole cause of the Iraq war too. There was a stargate there, inside the green zone in Baghdad. And now you know…the rest of the delusion.

24 comments

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  1. 1
    richardelguru

    But Obama used his time machine to put them out of action, so that last laugh is on the Ruskies!

  2. 2
    A Hermit

    I was sure it was going to be all the fault of teh gayz….

  3. 3
    matty1

    Well I don’t know about anyone else but I’m convinced.

  4. 4
    John Pieret

    THIS IS JUST MIND BLOWING

    Well, it’s pretty obvious that someone’s mind is blown … the question is whether they can get a spare.

  5. 5
    Gregory in Seattle

    I did a search for “Crimean pyramid.” the results were… entertaining. In the same way that train wrecks are entertaining.

  6. 6
    tbrandt

    If Putin is the New World Order, these guys have astonishingly low standards. How disappointing.

  7. 7
    Raging Bee

    …but the New World Order has systematically seized areas before that we later learned gave them access to advanced ancient technologies which they guard ferociously.

    So when do they actually USE any of that technology to, you know, TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

  8. 8
    raven

    Oh oh. They are on to us.

    The pyramids are vaults for Yog-Sothoths, the gatekeepers.

    They lead to other dimensions beyond space and time. They also let in beings from beyond space and time. Space gates work both ways. Last time they were opened, Cthulhu and its minions came through.

    I hope they don’t fool around with them. If they do, It’s Case Nightmare Green

  9. 9
    matty1

    @7 Because they already run the world, duh!

  10. 10
    eric

    The grammar and spelling…it burns…

  11. 11
    raven

    So when do they actually USE any of that technology to, you know, TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

    They have it all wrong.

    The stargates are to let eldritch other-dimensional beings from beyond time and space in.

    The End of the World is coming. Case Nightmare Green

    Charles Stross Fuller Memorandum:

    Bob Howard, Laundry Agent:

    However, there is a God out there—vast and ancient and infinitely powerful—and I know the name of this God. I know the path you have to walk down to be one with this God. I know his secret rituals and the correct form of prayer and his portents and signs. I have studied the ancient writings of his prophets and followers in person, not simply relying on the classified digests in the CODICIL BLACK SKULL files and the background briefings for CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN.

    I’m a believer. And like I said, I wish I was still an atheist. Believing I was born into a harsh, uncaring cosmos—in which my existence was a random roll of the dice and I was destined to die and rot and then be gone forever—was infinitely more comforting than the truth.

    Because the truth is that my God is coming back.

    When he arrives I’ll be waiting for him with a shotgun.

    And I’m keeping the last shell for myself.

  12. 12
    matty1

    I hope they don’t fool around with them. If they do, It’s Case Nightmare Green

    You are not authorised to reveal that code name. Please remain where you and Laundry security will be with you very shortly.

  13. 13
    eric

    You are not authorised to reveal that code name. Please remain where you and Laundry security will be with you very shortly

    Wrong country. Over here it’s the black chamber. And they probably already got to Raven. It’s why he/she’s so virulently anti-(the one true) religion.

  14. 14
    dingojack

    “When he arrives I’ll be waiting for him with a shotgun”

    How stoopid is that? Two measly shots? Give me a GAU-8 Avenger. 4200 30mm rounds per minute.
    :D Dingo

  15. 15
    Dexeron

    Foolish conspiracy theorists! Don’t they know that the Air Force already took over the Stargate and put Macguyver in charge of it?

  16. 16
    Artor

    Huh. Here I was, thinking it was about oil, and access to a warm-water port. You learn something new every day.

  17. 17
    karmacat

    The other mundane reason is there are lot of retired naval officers in crimea. In the USSR, naval officers got free apartments in the place where they retired. So a lot of them tried to get their last post to be in Crimea rather then the Kamchatka area. But then I’m sure these people could then say the Russian navy knows about aliens

  18. 18
    dhall

    “near by citys” Ouch.

  19. 19
    matty1

    Or the real reason could actually be the public one. A government wanting stronger links with Russia was replaced by one wanting stronger links with the EU so pro Russian groups invited their ‘brothers’ to ‘protect’ them and Putin jumped at the chance for some military posturing.

  20. 20
    Nick Gotts

    Crimean pyramids? Pshaw! Bosnia is the real deal!!!11!1eleventy!! Look, the archeologist who discovered these pyramids has a hat like Indiana Jones! And (see the last page of the linked article) he’s now a foreign member of the Russian Academy of Sciences!

  21. 21
    Kimpatsu

    But you know it must be true, Ed, because Dr. Jackson is now compiling blacklists!

  22. 22
    David Eriksen

    I got cheated. I spent a year in the Iraqi green zone and I never saw a Stargate.

  23. 23
    matty1

    “When he arrives I’ll be waiting for him with a shotgun”

    How stoopid is that? Two measly shots? Give me a GAU-8 Avenger. 4200 30mm rounds per minute.

    It does seem an odd choice given Bob’s preferred weapon is actually a Hand of Glory if I recall right.

  24. 24
    Chelydra

    Don’t they know that the Air Force already took over the Stargate and put Macguyver in charge of it?

    Actually, our Stargate is on loan from the Russians, who lacked the bloated military budget necessary to run the thing. So clearly this Crimea business is something else entirely.

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