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Hagee: Ukraine Invasion = the End Times!

For approximately the 1473rd time in my life, the end times have begun! So says John Hagee, who says that Russia’s invasion of Crimea and the Ukraine is the fulfillment of Biblical prophecy and the end times have finally begun. Again. This is a repeat from every single story involving Russia or war in the last 100 years. Never mind that those who wrote the Bible had no idea what Russia was and couldn’t possibly have been referring to that country.

Comments

  1. D. C. Sessions says

    Maybe someone should ask these people how we can know when it’s not the End Times.

  2. says

    Biblical prophecies have always been thus.

    What Hagee doesn’t realize, which keeps him from being in the ranks of the great prophets like Daniel, is that the key to successful prophecy is to back-date your prediction. If I were in the prophet game, I’d be claiming that in 1995 I predicted America would have its first black president and a lot of really shitty people would be very upset about it.

  3. colnago80 says

    Never mind that those who wrote the Bible had no idea what Russia was and couldn’t possibly have been referring to that country.

    They also had no notion of the existence of two entire continents in the Western Hemisphere, let alone the future existence of the USA 2000 years in the future.

  4. dingojack says

    Marcus – what, what what?!? You mean Sarah Failin’ didn’t really predict Putin invading Crimea years ago, as she claimed? Say it ain’t so!

    Dingo
    ——–
    End Times: How do you know, WERE YOU THERE?!?!

  5. grumpyoldfart says

    I have to laugh when I think of his ratbag followers listening seriously to every word he says.

    At last weeks board meeting they probably agreed, “OK, we’ll run an ‘End Times’ campaign for a couple of weeks and see how it goes – but if we don’t get an increase in donations we’re going straight back to poofter bashing.”

  6. Trebuchet says

    When I was in college, 45 years ago, my friends and I went to a three-day Hal Lindsay extravaganza. The first day sounded somewhat reasonable, the second less so, and the third bat-shit insane. He told us that Russian cavalry (with actual horses) would be invading Israel any day now. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

  7. says

    They also had no notion of the existence of two entire continents in the Western Hemisphere, let alone the future existence of the USA 2000 years in the future.

    Wait!?!? Then, how did they write The Constitution, smarty pants? HUh?

  8. raven says

    the end times have begun! So says John Hagee,…

    Left out the most important part. Hagee wants you to send him more money!!!

    Don’t ask why he needs money if the End Times are here.

  9. Michael Heath says

    Ed writes:

    This is a repeat from every single story involving Russia or war in the last 100 years. Never mind that those who wrote the Bible had no idea what Russia was and couldn’t possibly have been referring to that country.

    Uh huh. The Bible refers to both a bear (Russia) and an eagle (U.S.). So checkmate atheist!

    Most of this venue is probably aware of George Carlin’s quip about how stupid the average person is, where he then asks us to consider that 50% are stupider than that*. Ladies and Gentlemen: Let me introduce you to John Hagee’s fans.

    *I’m perfectly aware this isn’t true unless intelligence frequency is a perfectly shaped bell curve. This Carlin’s assertion, not mine.

  10. dingojack says

    Micheal Heath – only if you consider the bear’s feet as being a whole animal. So, how much can you bear?
    :) Dingo

  11. Artor says

    If the Bible were realistic, Adam & Eve would have had to deal with street preachers declaring that the End is Near!!!!!

  12. mildlymagnificent says

    Never mind that those who wrote the Bible had no idea what Russia was and couldn’t possibly have been referring to that country.

    Never stops them. One of these guys used to work for me. You can guess when that was when I tell you that the list of 20 or so “Bible prophesies” he had stuck to our wall included one about Gorbachev becoming a christian and then … my mind refuses to dredge up the details of the wonderful/catastrophic/incredible consequences. (All these “prophecies” were of similar quality and entirely devoid of any possible link to anything biblical.)

  13. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    This is a repeat from every single story involving Russia or war in the last 100 years.

    Hmm.. 1914 was 100 years ago and wasn’t Russia then still (Just barely) Tsarist on the allied side in World War I – allied with Britain and France and thus one of the good guys?

    Of course since the Bolsheviks took over mid-war we’re too far away. 1917 I think it was that Lenin took over and murdered the last Tsar – Nicolas II, – and his entire family starting the Communist reign of terror off top of head?

  14. dingojack says

    Stevo – you are aware the US, UK and the Allies were supplying the USSR during WWII, right?

    Dingo

  15. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    @6. Trebuchet :

    When I was in college, 45 years ago, my friends and I went to a three-day Hal Lindsay extravaganza. The first day sounded somewhat reasonable, the second less so, and the third bat-shit insane. He told us that Russian cavalry (with actual horses) would be invading Israel any day now. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

    If I recall right the ridiculous and dreadfully written Left Behind series starts with an invasion of Israel by Russia aided by that mighty military power Ethiopia. They nuke the place first then send their planes and troops in. *

    Sending in the calvry would be at least a marginally smarter than that. At least they’d have the advantage of surprise and maybe pity to!

    * God stops it all with a miracle, the nukes detonate harmlessly and the attacking planes (& tanks?) hit some sort of forcefield and fall harmless to ground over the Jewish nation if memory serves. Slacktivist blogger Fred Clark(e?) has a great series online soon to be made into book form apparently that debunks Left Behind brilliantly.

  16. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    @14. dingojack : D’oh! I temporarily forgot all about that and the role even Stalin’s USSR played in defeating the Nazis and at the very end the Imperial Japanese too. I stand corrected.

    Since about 1945-50’s then?

  17. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Stalingrad and the whole Russian front was quite a massive turning point in World War II too. How could I! (Slaps forehead.)

    Another correction / elaboration :

    If I recall right the ridiculous and dreadfully written Left Behind series starts with an invasion of Israel by Russia aided by that mighty military power Ethiopia. They nuke the place first then send their planes and troops in.

    Stress the fact that the attacking Russians and Ethiopians sent their planes and troops in right after the mass nuking – immediately, like five minutes, behind. Guess they apparently weren’t keen on their own militaries and wanted them to die or something?

    (Or just really, really staggeringly stupid writing and interpretation of something supposedly in the Bible that bears no resemblance to what the authors L& J claim as “literal truth.”)

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