Quantcast

«

»

Jan 31 2014

Larson Selling ‘Exorcisms’ Over Skype

Bob Larson, the colossal fraud who claims to cast out demons, has found yet another way to bilk the credulous out of their money. He’s now offering exorcisms over Skype for a mere $295. And it’s all tax-deductible, of course, because it’s a ministry.

You may not believe in the practice but it is still prevalent among many religions, including Rev. Bob Larson’s evangelical Christianity.

“In simple terms, an exorcism is the process of expelling an evil spirit from an individual who has become somehow invaded and demonized by that being, and sending it back to hell and freeing the person,” Larson said.

In the age of electronics, exorcisms are done over Skype.

So what does Larson say to those people who see these dramatic exchanges as nothing more than a disturbing night club act?

“It’s real,” Larson says. “There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason. Why would anybody do that? I have no idea.”

Because you can charge people $295 to pretend to rid them of demons that don’t exist, obviously.

22 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    Wow! Talk about phoning it in…literally.

  2. 2
    raven

    The perennial question is whether these ministers are wild eyed religious kooks or just ordinary conpeople.

    I suppose they are a mixture of both with the proportions varying from case to case.

    IMO, after looking at them for a while, most are just cons. Larson is just one of the more obvious.

    PS For any xians reading this, don’t pay $295. My cat will exorcize your demons for a can a Friskies cat food. She has as much supernatural power as all the priests and ministers put together. It’s zero of course but you can use that $294.50 you saved for something worthwhile.

  3. 3
    eric

    Don’t harsh on the guy’s offer. After all, a by-Skype exorcism is exactly as effective as an in-person one, right? ;)

  4. 4
    Chiroptera

    He’s now offering exorcisms over Skype for a mere $295.

    I am constantly amazed at how modern technology allows us to find more efficient solutions to problems that have plagued us for thousands of years!

  5. 5
    Mr Ed

    That’s right for just three easy payments of $99 you get the skype exorcism but if you call in the next 90 minutes we will throw in the gay shield hand cream and the holy land slicer and dicer. It slices, it dices, it makes julian fries and it is absolutely guaranteed to keep your home demon free or your money back. [just pay separate handling and shipping charges]

    At what point does ministry become legal fraud?

  6. 6
    Moggie

    The awesome thing about this is that you could record the exorcism for reuse later, in case you get repossessed.

  7. 7
    richardelguru

    Ah! But what happens when the demon is in Skype? Answer me that!

  8. 8
    alanb

    $295 is a real bargain! It’s less than what I would pay for a plane ticket to Arizona and I don’t even have to take a day off from work! Not only that, but once the exorcism is successful I won’t have to take my antipsychotic medication any more.

  9. 9
    richardelguru

    By the way, you sure that’s not Garry Larson??

  10. 10
    Al Dente

    The perennial question is whether these ministers are wild eyed religious kooks or just ordinary conpeople.

    These choices are not mutually exclusive.

  11. 11
    theschwa

    Meh. I just downloaded iXorcise from the app store. It was much cheaper.

  12. 12
    Tabby Lavalamp

    HMWJC: How Much Would Jesus Charge?

  13. 13
    howardhershey

    Does he have a double-your-money-back guarantee? Just considering’ a reverse scam.

  14. 14
    Al Dente

    Perhaps those possessed should try to negotiate with the demon. “Hey Baphomet, how about vacating the premises for a hundred bucks?” It would be worth a try.

  15. 15
    abear

    Back in the 1980′s Larson would exorcise demons for free if you phoned into his radio talk show. Hell he even paid for the phonecall!
    Inflation is getting out of control.

  16. 16
    coragyps

    Flashback to the 1950′s, with “place your hands upon your television set!!” Wasn’t that Oral Roberts?

  17. 17
    Red-Green in Blue

    @richardelguru: Why, then you ring Skype Test Call and exorcise the demons from her!

    @alanb:

    Not only that, but once the exorcism is successful I won’t have to take my antipsychotic medication any more.

    Yikes, I’d not considered that. At least with an ‘exorcism’ in person, a responsible minister who has done his homework might recognise symptoms and signs consistent with psychosis and hang around long enough to convince family/friends present that on this this occasion it’s a psychiatrist’s help they need. With Skype, you don’t get such good non-verbal cues, and the exorcist could simply claim he’s done what he was paid to do, click the red button, et voilà! it’s hundreds of miles away and somebody else’s problem.

  18. 18
    democommie

    “Hello! Other users who bought this exorcism also purchased at least 3 indulgences and 7 imprecatory prayers!”.

  19. 19
    haitied

    I think “EOIP” is safer than in home exorcism. The chances of your loved one being injured or killed by a reckless godbot on a mission from Jebus are lessened drastically if they are on skype.

  20. 20
    cry4turtles

    Could I sell ocean front property on Skype too? I won’t even mention that it’s in AZ!

  21. 21
    jnorris

    Why doesn’t the religious right demand that the ACA cover this?

  22. 22
    alanb

    @Red-Green in Blue:

    a responsible minister…

    Do you know or have you heard of anyone like that? In the stories that I’ve heard of exorcisms, the practitioners would no more be able to diagnose mental illness than the recipients.

Leave a Reply

Switch to our mobile site