Tonight is the State of the Union speech, or as I call it, Empty Platitude Festival 2014. Watch as the meaningless buzzwords fly through the air! Gaze in awe to the thrills and chills of trite cliches performing feats of wonder for your entertainment! Then listen to pundits tell you What It All Means in the most serious of terms. Let me save them the trouble: It means nothing. Absolutely nothing. And no one should watch it or give a shit about it.