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Ooh, 2014 ‘Psychic’ Predictions

It’s a new year and that means a whole new set of yearly predictions from “psychics” that won’t come true at a rate above chance unless they’re so vague or obvious that anyone could predict them. Lamont Hamilton, who predicted that in 2013 Congress would pass comprehensive immigration reform, the UN would pass a global tax, that Justice Ginsburg would retire and many more misses, has a few more:

A discovery that diseases can be transmitted or transferred by pure thought from one location to another will be found. (Wanna bet?)

We will lose one of our past Presidents or First Lady this year after a prolonged illness. (Boy, that’s stepping out on a limb given the age of the Carters and first set of Bushes)

And from Judy Hevenly:

Pope Francis to appoint the first woman cardinal to the Vatican. (Not a chance)

Scotland breaks away from United Kingdom and becomes independent.

And Nikki, the “psychic to the stars.”

A giant sinkhole in Egypt. Trouble around the pyramids in Egypt; they may sink.

A flood in the London, England underground.

Power blackout worldwide.

Empire State Building tipping.

A shark will kill somebody at Coney Island, New York.

Partial collapse of the Coliseum in Rome, Italy.

All good to keep in mind for a year from now, when they almost all prove to be false. Not that their followers care, of course.

Comments

  1. Trebuchet says

    I’m waiting for Sylvia Browne’s predictions for this year!

    Seriously, that could happen. Her equally con-artist son my very well channel them up for us.

  2. Al Dente says

    I predict there will be even more predictions, all of which will be either inevitable or wrong.

  3. Dunc says

    Scotland breaks away from United Kingdom and becomes independent.

    I can absolutely guarantee that this will not happen this year – the referendum isn’t until September, and absolutely nobody imagines that, in the event of a “yes” vote, we will actually be independent this side of 2016.

    Doesn’t Scotland already have its own parliament, making it pretty much independent?

    The powers of the Scottish Parliament are quite limited. It does not raise its own revenues for one thing, and it has absolutely no control over a number of significant policy areas (welfare, defence, foreign policy, energy, and so forth), which are “reserved” to Westminster. We also do not have independent representation in the EU or UN.

  4. Nick Gotts says

    cptdoom@3,

    Yes it does have its own Parliament, but no, that does not make it pretty much independent. It probably has less autonomy than the member states of the USA. You can see a list of “reserved matters” i.e. those over which the Scottish government has no powers, here. From 2016, the Scottish Government will be able to vary the UK rate of income tax. It’s arguable that even if it does become formally independent, that will be largely a sham, as the SNP currently wants to retain the pound sterling, meaning the Bank of England would continue to set currency and interest rates for Scotland.

    Scotland breaks away from United Kingdom and becomes independent.

    Certainly won’t happen this year. If (which is unlikely), the referendum on independence in September produces a vote in favour, there will be a period of negotiation. The Scottish National Party’s target date for independence in that case is March 2016.

  5. Nick Gotts says

    Sorry, I should have read Dunc@5 before posting! Still, the fact that two residents of Scotland agree should convince!

  6. says

    Judy Hevenly seems to be like the folks at the US tabloids who write about the Queen appointing William King instead of Charles. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about.

  7. says

    You do realise that Scotland’s Independence movement has been going on for a fair few years and the rough poll is independence and anyone with an ounce of sense can figure out Scottish Independence may be coming.

    And in any case? Independence is set for March 2015, so a year out….

  8. daved says

    I predict there will be even more predictions, all of which will be either inevitable or wrong.

    Al Dente is a genuine psychic! (As long as we ignore the paradox of Al’s own prediction, I mean.)

  9. peterh says

    When it’s “no true Scotsman,” turn and run; when it’s “two true Scotsmen” all is well? :)

  10. Synfandel says

    Pope Francis to appoint the first woman cardinal to the Vatican.

    I admit considerable ignorance in matters of Roman Catholic church practice, but would such an appointment not require that there be a woman bishop, and that in turn require that there be a woman priest, neither of which exists?

  11. sqlrob says

    A discovery that diseases can be transmitted or transferred by pure thought from one location to another will be found.

    Religion. Politics.

    There’s two already.

  12. cptdoom says

    @Synfandel – IIRC, and it’s been years since my Catholic education, a Cardinal does not have to be a priest first so it might be technically possible.

    For all those clarifying the relationship ‘tween England & Scotland, my thanks. I was under the impression only national security issues were reserved to London.

  13. Synfandel says

    You do realise that Scotland’s Independence movement has been going on for a fair few years and the rough poll is independence…

    I don’t know what this “rough poll” is, but here are the results of some recent professional polls.

    The Mail, November, 2013:
    27% yes, 56% no

    Ipsos MORI/STV News, December, 2013:
    34% yes, 57% no

    The Times, December, 2013:
    33% yes, 52% no

    TNS BRMB, December, 2013:
    27% yes, 41% no

  14. anne mariehovgaard says

    Nikki’s predictions sound like a disaster movie plot. I wonder what’s making all those buildings collapse (and causing sharks to change their diet) – earthquakes? aliens? demons? Hollywood style instant climate change?

  15. matty1 says

    @16 Well there are rumours, sadly untrue, about a chair in the Vatican with a hole in it for exactly that purpose.

  16. caseloweraz says

    Lamont Hamilton: 2014 will be a very interesting political year since we’ll have the Fall elections coming, and I predict we’ll have at least 2-3 congressmen resigning their offices before that time. I see a few more veteran lawmaker’s losing their seats after the elections are over.

    Now there’s a bold prediction. (Or actually three predictions, including the “prediction” that 2014 is an election year.)

    But here are my two favorites of his:

    Programmers will discover a simple computer code or app that will end almost all future online computer viruses.

    The alternative digital currency, Bitcoin, will crash due to a well placed virus that affects the algorithm.

    I guess the one the “simple computer code” doesn’t stop will be a real killer, and the one that takes down Bitcoin when it “affects the algorithm.”

    Some freebies:

    * A scandal over a Nobel Peace Prize nominee will be reported in the news that the commission may consider taking the prize back from them.

    Nit: If only a nominee, he or she hasn’t won a prize to be taken back.

    * The original 1969 USA moon landing site will be reported as damaged or vandalized by another country that lands on the moon.

    Two ways to look at this. a) Another country lands people on the Moon and reports back that the Apollo 11 landing site has been vandalized. (By whom — Teenagers from Outer Space?) b) The other country’s team is responsible for the damage. (But then, who would report it?)

    In any case, no one is going to land people on Luna during 2014.

  17. dan4 says

    Funny. Being a psychic used to mean being able to (supposedly) detect things that are ongoing or in a “present” context (e.g. “What am I thinking?” “Where are the kidnappers holding my baby?”). Now it just means trying to predict the future (which friggin’ ANYONE can do, of course).

  18. says

    Power blackout worldwide.

    Lolwhut? A worldwide power blackout is a virtual impossibility since there are hundreds, probably thousands of independent electrical grids, most of which are made up of many smaller grids, and the odds of all of them going down at once are nil.

    Never mind psychic powers; the woman is just plain ignorant.

  19. caseloweraz says

    I feel depressed, I feel so bad
    ‘Cos I can’t tell if my future’s glad.
    Can’t get a hint, I can’t get depiction.
    I really need a new psychic prediction.

    Apologies to the Count Five and their tune Psychotic Reaction

  20. Synfandel says

    A worldwide power blackout is a virtual impossibility since there are hundreds, probably thousands of independent electrical grids…

    A sufficiently large solar coronal mass ejection (CME) could do it quite handily and it would take a very long time to repair the damage and get the grids back on line. The economic chaos and loss of life would be staggering.

  21. Nick Gotts says

    Avicenna@8,

    You’re still a year out: it’s set for March 2016. Also, as Synfandel@15 says, the polls indicate a majority against (and this has been the case for years).

    peterh@10,
    It’s questionable whether I’m a “True Scotsman”, since I’ve only lived here since 1998, don’t like porridge and have never eaten a sheep’s stomach, or tortured an octopus while wearing a checked, pleated skirt. However, I do get a vote (and will, in fact, be voting and even campaigning for independence).

  22. Lofty says

    silverbuttons

    Now I’m picturing Scotland LITERALLY breaking away from the UK–like, floating away into the ocean to become a separate little island.

    Blame Nessie. She’s sick of all the nosy neighbours.

  23. dingojack says

    [Arial shot of rolling hills, covered with heather. Suddenly a figure appears over the top of a ridge, the camera zooms in to reveal: NICK GOTTS, leading a crowd.
    He is dressed in a plaid, pleated skirt complete with furry bollock-bag, wearing a tam-o-shanter with a long feather, white knee-socks with a dagger tucked in the right-hand sock., his face painted into saltaired quarters of blue. He raises his bagpipes in defiance before yelling -]
    NICK GOTTS: You’ll take our vote, BUT YOU’LL NEVER GIVE US FREEEEDOOOM !!
    [A general murmer of 'Let's go to pub', 'I'll could murder a smokie' and etc. as the crowd wanders off unimpressed]
    VOICE OVER: Nick Gotts IS – “NO TRUE SCOTSMAN“. in (and out) cinemas soon….

    Dingo

  24. says

    Nick Gotts @ing peterh@10,
    “It’s questionable whether I’m a “True Scotsman”, since I’ve only lived here since 1998, don’t like porridge and have never eaten a sheep’s stomach, or tortured an octopus while wearing a checked, pleated skirt.”

    My Mum (born etc on Glasgow) hates Haggis but my wife (Californian) likes it so much she’s even gone to the trouble to eat it here (Texas), so liking are probably nothing to do with it!

    btw I tease Mum (who now lives in England) that she’ll be deported if the countries do separate.

  25. says

    Nick Gotts @25 @ing peterh@10,
    “It’s questionable whether I’m a “True Scotsman”, since I’ve only lived here since 1998, don’t like porridge and have never eaten a sheep’s stomach, or tortured an octopus while wearing a checked, pleated skirt.”

    My Mum (born etc on Glasgow) hates Haggis but my wife (Californian) likes it so much she’s even gone to the trouble to eat it here (Texas), so likings are probably nothing to do with it!

    btw I tease Mum (who now lives in England) that she’ll be deported if the countries do separate.

  26. dingojack says

    Keith – It wouldn’t knock out electronics on the night side – therefore only 1/2 right.
    ;) Dingo

  27. dingojack says

    Pfffft, call that a mass ejection? This is what a call a mass ejection…
    ;) Dingo
    ——–
    Or for those of a more sensitive nature, a slightly more PG version of mass ejection.

  28. jnorris says

    A discovery that diseases can be transmitted or transferred by pure thought from one location to another will be found.

    People wearing aluminum foil hats are automatically invulnerable to disease.

  29. Trebuchet says

    @26:

    Now I’m picturing Scotland LITERALLY breaking away from the UK–like, floating away into the ocean to become a separate little island.

    The Great Glen is working on that. Of course, geologic time being what it is, it’ll take a while and won’t be coming up in ’14.

  30. Elaine Skinner says

    Leaves a bad taste in my mouth how you describe my birth country @NickGotts We don’t weat pleated skirts, they are KILTS! Scotland is not some backwater kind of place that the natives run about eating haggis and wearing skirts living in caves! You come over very condescending for someone that lives in my beautiful country.
    For those of you flippant about our ability to be Independent,it seems polls missed out the fact that SNP would win in Scottish Election 2011, let alone win with a majority. I believe right up to a few weeks before election,it was predicted that my party Labour would win. Such is the trust in polls and aren’t unweighted polls even harder to gauge?After all we haven’t went for full Independence before so it makes me laugh the unionists saying “No,we aren’t going to be Independent because I’m the knowitall and I say so,therefore it will happen” Trouble with these knowitalls on here,haven’t a clue at the massive grassroots campaign going round the doors for the last year across Scotland 2 or 3 times a week getting positive Yes results. I’d say they are far more truthful than taking 1000 people and asking them. Add up the amount of Scots asked on doorsteps with over 120 Scottish Yes groups across Scotland and the islands are far,far more people than 1000 in the polls. Yes has grown yet again as it has done pretty much every poll for many months.Don’t underestimate true Scots Nick,seems you really don’t understand the psyche of Scots yet or you wouldn’t insult us and our culture! Watch and see,Yes came from knowwhere a few years ago and one poll not long ago had us only 7 point behind taking out the Don’t Knows.

  31. dingojack says

    Elaine Skinner – ” I’d say they are far more truthful than taking 1000 people and asking them.”
    You don’t really get how polling works, do you?
    ;) Dingo

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