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Jan 08 2014

Joyner: God Created America

Rick Joyner has a TV show called Prophetic Perspective on Current Events and it’s all the usual claptrap we’re used to from the wingnut set. On one recent show, he says that God showed him that “America had been established by Him for a special purpose and I saw that purpose in the Scripture and I saw America in the prophetic books of the Bible.” You’re hearing voices, Rick. You should keep that to yourself.

14 comments

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  1. 1
    Gregory in Seattle

    Really? Did God sign the Declaration of Independence, the Articles of Confederation or the later Constitution? Did God fire a musket at charging British troops? Did God write tracts for the revolutionaries in support of revolution? Did God withdraw divine mandate from King George III, who was by Grace of God King? Did God even pick up one scrap of paper? (ST:TNG fans will get that last one.)

  2. 2
    Subtract Hominem, a product of Nauseam

    No, this one’s actually true. Recent theoforensic breakthroughs have conclusively shown the hand of the Divine in the founding of the USA. In fact, several key figures were actually gods.

    “James Madison,” for example, was in fact an avatar of Vishnu, and “George Washington” cunningly used powdered wigs and false teeth to disguise the jackal-like visage that would give Anubis away.

    It should come as no surprise whatsoever that “Aaron Burr” was really Loki.

  3. 3
    Owlmirror

    It should come as no surprise whatsoever that “Aaron Burr” was really Loki.

    So . . . “Alexander Hamilton” was really Balder, and the pistol ball was made from mistletoe?

  4. 4
    raven

    You’re hearing voices, Rick.

    Maybe.

    Joyner has always come across more as an outright conperson. You’re making money by lying, Rick.

  5. 5
    Scr... Archivist

    Subtract Hominem @2,

    In that case, Benjamin Franklin must have been Bacchus. It’s all so clear now.

  6. 6
    sigurd jorsalfar

    Why didn’t God just make the Roman Empire into the USA when he had the chance?

  7. 7
    grumpyoldfart

    His research assistants have an ongoing competition going among themselves. They all write the most ludicrous things they can think of and the story Joyner broadcasts is declared the winner.

  8. 8
    busterggi

    America has been established by Him for a special purpose and, as everyone who has watched Steve Martin in The Jerk knows, this explains the shape of Florida.

  9. 9
    Michael Heath

    Ed reports:

    On one recent show, [Rick Joyner] says that God showed him that “America had been established by Him for a special purpose and I saw that purpose in the Scripture and I saw America in the prophetic books of the Bible.” You’re hearing voices, Rick. You should keep that to yourself.

    Such claims have been long held within conservative Christianity. I was raised to claims that biblical prophecy predicts the U.S. (as the good guys of course) and our eventually going to war with Russia (in reference to a biblical bear IIRC). There’s one passage that refers to being carried on the “wings of eagles” (U.S.).

    Ironic how Old Testament literature references pre-Judaism, pre-paganism, animism (totems). Where modern-day YECs suck it up while simultaneously denying the period when animism first came to be practiced.

  10. 10
    Taz

    All he’s saying is that we are god’s chosen people, exulted above all others on Earth. What could go wrong?

  11. 11
    oranje

    Yes, yes. And Slartibartfast created the fjords. Won an award, too.

  12. 12
    John Pieret

    In that case, Benjamin Franklin must have been Bacchus. It’s all so clear now.

    I’m having a little trouble placing Jefferson but Hermes might be a good suspect.

  13. 13
    steffp

    “Model for the coming Kingdom of God”. So logical for Founders who just abandoned their overseas King. And took careful precautions to keep the clergy out of positions of mundane power…

  14. 14
    freehand

    I’ll believe this when I see the stars in the sky spell out “We’re number one!!1!”

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