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Jan 07 2014

Another Scam: A ‘Past Life Coach’

If there’s anything more ridiculous than having or being a “life coach” it would be having a “past life coach.” And that’s exactly what a massage therapist in Fargo, North Dakota has declared herself with the help of “North Dakota’s #1 news website.”

She began regular appointments with Brusseau, who through the years has expanded her massage therapy practice beyond the body to the mind and soul.

Brusseau, 33, is a certified soul and past-life coach. She also does CranioSacral therapy, reiki and intuitive consulting through her business, Lotus Touch, located inside Anderson Family Chiropractic in Fargo. She leads classes, workshops and speaks at holistic expos, and also does phone and email readings and coaching.

“I think God put Karissa in my path on purpose,” Thomas says. “She definitely connected what I needed connecting.”

Thomas would lie quietly while Brusseau gave her visions to meditate. She suggested books to read about soul journeying. They talked about seeing her aura in color.

Oh good, she’s a certified “soul and past-life coach.” Certified by what professional organization exactly, the Association of Con Artists United? All of this is presented in a “news” outlet, complete with her phone number and address so you can run right down to give her your money for this bullshit.

31 comments

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  1. 1
    lofgren

    Is it actually ridiculous to have a life coach? Seems like a valuable resource.

  2. 2
    doublereed

    Hahaha, the Association of Con Artists United. I like that. Maybe I should run that, and take all the con artists’ money.

  3. 3
    tsig

    I’m sure she’s certified by the Council of Dead Greats and will give you a reading to prove it.

  4. 4
    sigurd jorsalfar

    I have a life coach. He benched me.

  5. 5
    Modusoperandi

    sigurd jorsalfar “I have a life coach. He benched me.”
    Worse, my past-life coach pulled me, put in one of my past lives, and it fumbled a catch. Damn you and your stubby little arms, Napoleon!

  6. 6
    Marcus Ranum

    I used to work with someone who had past lives therapy and discovered (surprise!) that she had been an Egyptian princess!! ZOMG! So she travelled to The Valley Of The Kings to go see if she could retrieve any memories and on the bus wound up sitting next to someone who had also had past lives therapy and also had been the same princess in a past life. That must have been a fascinating conversation. When she got back, she “didn’t want to talk about it.”

    Harry Harrison had a fun story about past lives. In order to induce the memory cascade they would put the subject in a detailed replica of a Chinese peasant’s hut. Because, at some time or other, everyone has been a Chinese peasant over and over.

    I had past lives therapy and found out I had been cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, E. Coli (I gave some guy the shits!) cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium, cyanobacterium,

  7. 7
    Mr Ed

    Turns out I’m Agrajag

  8. 8
    Abby Normal

    Lofgren @1

    I’m okay with life coaches, depending on the individual approach. Unfortunately it seems that most the people who would want to be one are just looking to make an easy buck. They end up being worse than useless. But a good one can be a real boon.

  9. 9
    zippythepinhead

    Wow! In this case, the medium really is the massage.

  10. 10
    dmcclean

    I think I agree with #1. This person is obviously ridiculous, but I don’t think that the concept of a “life coach”, in itself, is ridiculous. There are probably lots of people who could benefit from chatting with someone about their challenges and plans but who don’t need the services of someone with a professional license in psychiatry or social work.

  11. 11
    mudpuddles

    If there’s anything more ridiculous than having or being a “life coach…”

    Maybe it means something different in the US, and no doubt there may be “life coaches” everywhere who are nothing more than opportunistic spoofers, but over here life coaching is largely a respectable and woo-free area, related to occupational therapy, mental health counselling and career guidance.

  12. 12
    gopiballava

    Maybe a certificate from The Con Academy?

  13. 13
    Trebuchet

    Obviously fake. You can’t be a past life coach, or any other new-agey thing, without repeating “quantum” over and over. Quantum, quantum, quantum quantum. It’s the new mantra.

  14. 14
    Doug Little

    Brusseau, 33, is a certified soul and past-life coach. She also does CranioSacral therapy, reiki and intuitive consulting through her business, Lotus Touch, located inside Anderson Family Chiropractic in Fargo. She leads classes, workshops and speaks at holistic expos, and also does phone and email readings and coaching.

    Holy shit that’s a lot of woo in a small space.

  15. 15
    d.c.wilson

    How does one coach past lives? It’s not like you can improve your past lives or change their direction. They’re already over.

  16. 16
    Nick Gotts

    Marcus Ranum@6

    When someone famous dies, their soul splits into multiple copies, so they can have multiple simultaneous reincarnations. That’s the only possible explanation for there being so many Cleopatras!

  17. 17
    theschwa

    Wait, Ed, are you suggesting we use an UNcertified past life coach? Why not just use a non-union, scab past life coach. Ridiculous!

  18. 18
    matty1

    I was Alexander the Great………

    ‘s chief eunuch

  19. 19
    Bronze Dog

    I remember watching my brother meet one of the cultists in GTA5, telling his character that he was once a king of a cloud castle, and in response he asks why everyone’s always royalty or generals, and not an unbroken series of peasants. She had a thought-stopping cliche ready, so she didn’t think about the question.

    I don’t like the idea of royalty, so that sort of thing doesn’t even appeal to my wishful thinking.

  20. 20
    Michael Heath

    Re: Association of Con Artists United (ACAU)

    I like this one: Developmental Union Promoting the Education of Dupery

  21. 21
    jefferylanam

    Marcus Ranum, that’s like the story of the sanitarium which had two guys who each thought they were Jesus. They put them together in a room. Eventually one of them decided he must be Jesus’ brother. He was eventually cured.

    Doug LIttle, North Dakota doesn’t have a lot of people. She has to be a jack-of-all-woo.

  22. 22
    blf

    Past life coach? (Blinks several times trying to grasp the concept.) What does such a person do? Crawl into crematorium with your corpse to advise on proper burning techniques?

  23. 23
    Sastra

    Reminds me of this.

    As if my life weren’t bad enough well now I’m more depressed
    Cause I was just some low life peasant
    When I past life regressed

    Brusseau and her cornucopia of woo sounds like someone my friends would know — or at least approve of. Combine a commitment to Spirituality with an attitude of “anything is possible” and a compassionate “everything will work for someone” and there is no possible way to criticize it. Which is the point.

  24. 24
    tsig

    ” matty1

    January 7, 2014 at 12:24 pm (UTC -5)

    I was Alexander the Great………

    ‘s chief eunuch”

    Bet you were a real ball buster.

  25. 25
    Sastra

    blf #22 wrote:

    Past life coach? (Blinks several times trying to grasp the concept.) What does such a person do?

    A past life coach tries to help you solve your current problems by looking for their origins in one of your past lives. It’s an approach which makes more or less sense … in this life (“you have low self-confidence because your mother always belittled you.”) Once you figure out the cause, the idea is that you now have more information to work on the cure. But past lives?

    As one past life coach puts it:

    Working with a Past Life Coach can transform your life forever.

    In addition to having the skills of a Soul coach, your Past Life Coach goes a step further and guides you to embark on a past life journey into a lifetime where the root of some of your current issues, beliefs, blockages or struggles orginiated.

    Even if you do not believe in past lives ( or are not sure about reincarnation), this process STILL works. This journey allows you to not only see the root of an issue, but then take power steps and actions to resolve it.

    I suppose it’s possible that inventing a fantasy might help with an actual problem by re-framing it in a way which is now solvable. OR … it might just really screw you up, particularly if you have a serious psychological issue. I wouldn’t recommend it for anything but boredom — and even then I wouldn’t recommend it because 1.) it’s rooted in deception and falsehood and 2.) it will encourage sloppy thinking and unrealistic expectations.

  26. 26
    Abby Normal

    Matty1, gazpacho soup…

  27. 27
    pita

    I’m going to choose to believe that she’s either an Assassin plant looking for the next Desmond to help fight the Templars or she’s a Templar doing whatever the villains were doing in the first game, I don’t remember anymore. Whichever it is, I’m sure this gig will end up just like the Assassin’s Creed series: never-ending and printing money.

  28. 28
    had3

    Can you go two lives back and fix things for the immediate past life? Your immediate past life would probably appreciate it enough to retroactively make this life much better.

  29. 29
    ShowMetheData

    Reik – i the centre square of any woo woo bingo-card

  30. 30
    stripeycat

    CranioSacral therapy sounds like it’s a treatment for having your head up your bum. Either that or something to do with disarticulated fossils.

  31. 31
    danrobinson

    “I was Alexander the Great………

    ‘s chief eunuch”

    Mary Renault wrote a great historical novel from the viewpoint of just this person. “The Persian Boy”

    I have to wonder why a scam like this is legal. We demand some sort of evidence for the usefulness of medical treatments. Where on the continuum does such a thing become “harmless” enough that we don’t require any verification of efficacy?

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