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Jan 06 2014

Another Awesome-Looking Christian Movie

As if the Kevin Sorbo movie and the Erik Estrada movie aren’t enough, there’s another new Christian movie coming out that is almost certainly to be an unintentional laugh riot. It’s called The Lock In and it’s the tale of a youth group that has a lock in and has to confront demons because one of the boys brought a dirty magazine.

Holy Moly Pictures has announced the release date for The Lock In, a Christian found footage horror film about pornography to be released January 9th, 2014.

Imagine your life being torn apart and the very wiring of your brain being changed by a seemingly innocent prank. This is what happens when three teenage boys are terrorized by demon activity after a “dirty magazine” is snuck into an overnight church event called a lock in. During the lock in, members of the youth group are “locked in” the church to have fun, play games, and get to know one another. In spite of the youth pastor’s attempt to intervene, the boys must come to terms with the pornographic images themselves in order to be truly freed from the demon.

Movies have always been a good medium to highlight social issues. Pornography is a growing epidemic in the church community for men, women, and children with most of the underage victims being exposed in a place thought to be safe. The producers of the film hope that not only will it be entertaining, it will also be used as a tool for conversations about the dangers of pornography and the importance of being aware.

Here’s the trailer, which makes it look like a Blair Witch Project for the anti-masturbation set.

This has to be added to the watch party I’m planning.

52 comments

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  1. 1
    Doug Little

    The producers of the film hope that not only will it be entertaining

    Oh it will be entertaining alright, but not in the way they are thinking of.

  2. 2
    cswella

    What utter tripe. The only way they could make it relevant to today’s kids is if they snuck the porn in using a smartphone.

  3. 3
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    I walked in on my brother “confronting” those “demons” once.

    It was pretty terrifying.

  4. 4
    pinkboi

    They’re called Holy Moly pictures? Really? Poe’s law.. I can’t tell serious religious propaganda from a campy, cheeky jab at religious nuts…

  5. 5
    Martin Wagner

    In spite of the youth pastor’s attempt to intervene, the boys must come to terms with the pornographic images themselves in order to be truly freed from the demon.

    Huhuhuh, he said “come.”

  6. 6
    raven

    ????

    Who buys or reads girlie magazines any more?

    Haven’t they ever heard of the internet?

    I don’t see this becoming as popular as Reefer Madness though. It’s just dumb.

  7. 7
    Abby Normal

    I mean, come on.

  8. 8
    erichoug

    This may be quite funny.

    Before I watched “The Conjuring” I had heard that it was based on a true story/. So, I did a little research by Googling “Skeptic, warrens”. After I read a few articles, the whole movie was unintentionally hilarious, in addition to being downright creepy.

  9. 9
    kevinalexander

    Well, I’m off to another site to confront those demons.

  10. 10
    Modusoperandi

    “It’s a vagina! A vagina! Aaaaah ah ah ah, a vagina!”

  11. 11
    Moggie

    Yep, they’ve really got their finger on the pulse there. “Dirty magazines” are right up there with dime novels and Elvis as moral perils for the youth of today.

  12. 12
    Reginald Selkirk

    Demons? This is just those anti-intellectual American Evangelical Protestants. Modern sophisticated liberal churches don’t believe in such things.
    (Holy Roman Catholic) Church training more exorcists to meet growing demand

  13. 13
    Reginald Selkirk

    Who buys or reads girlie magazines any more?

    People who don’t care to share their hobbies with the NSA.

  14. 14
    Doug Little

    Oh and in the real world there would be a hell of a lot more stuff smuggled into that little party other than just a stick mag. Anyway they might just be reading the articles.

  15. 15
    Moggie

    Modusoperandi:

    “It’s a vagina! A vagina! Aaaaah ah ah ah, a vagina!”

    To the tune of Immigrant Song, right?

  16. 16
    matty1

    The clips from around 45 seconds to a minute may have been taken at an actual porn shoot, there’s a lot of moaning and screaming and bits of peoples bodies in blurred view.

  17. 17
    Modusoperandi

    Moggie, actually it’s from Diddler on the Roof (“If I had a porn mag…Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle vah-jy-nah!”), or West Side Whorey (“The most beautiful sound I ever heard. Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina! All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word. Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!”).

  18. 18
    Reginald Selkirk

    Isn’t locking people into a building an incredibly stupid fire code violation?

  19. 19
    Mr Ed

    #6 -Raven

    Who said girlie magazine this is the granddaddy of impure thoughts National Geographic. Bare breasts and evolution.

    maybe this is the next Russ Meyer.

  20. 20
    busterggi

    Good thing no one has ever really looked at porn or the world would have been taken over by demons centuries ago.

  21. 21
    Raging Bee

    Holy Moly Pictures…

    You’re kidding, right?

    Pornography is a growing epidemic in the church community for men, women, and children with most of the underage victims being exposed in a place thought to be safe.

    What, they can’t even keep porn out of their own homes, schools and churches? I saw some nudie mags when I was a kid, but even my liberal parents were able to keep it out of our house, using that time-honored strategy known as “not buying porn and bringing it home.”

  22. 22
    bushrat

    Locked in with a Christian Prayer Group…those poor Demons, I hope their OK.

  23. 23
    thascius

    @21-”even my liberal parents were able to keep it out of our house, using that time-honored strategy known as “not buying porn and bringing it home.” That’s an awful lot to expect of those poor fundamentalist parents. Next you’ll be suggesting they can get offensive content off the TV by changing the channel, or even more shocking, turning it off.

  24. 24
    d.c.wilson

    During the lock in, members of the youth group are “locked in” the church to have fun, play games, and get to know one another.

    Several young boys locked in a church with a man of the cloth and a porno mag? Sounds like nearly every priest’s dream.

  25. 25
    matty1

    The trailer needs to be redone with yakety sax as the soundtrack.

  26. 26
    magistramarla

    Raging Bee,
    We were the liberal parents who DID buy those porno magazines – at least my hubby’s Playboy subscription.
    I began buying him a subscription for our first anniversary and I’ve since renewed it 36 times. I’ve never understood why women didn’t want their husbands to see the magazine. I know that he’s never going to do anything with those models (Ha!) and I reap the benefits that night after he’s read it.
    I often read the articles before he even gets home. Those articles are what helped to shape our liberal and secular viewpoints over the years.
    We didn’t stress too much about our kids seeing and discussing the magazine. We did have a talk with the son about sneaking some of them up to his room when his buddies spent the night, since we didn’t want to have to deal with irate parents.
    When one daughter and her hubby lived with us for a while, we found that he had sneaked a few magazines upstairs and hidden them under the bathroom sink. (He had been raised in a fundi household).
    My hubby was not pleased that a couple of them suffered water damage from a leaky pipe, since he tries to keep his collection in pristine shape. Who knows, it might be worth something!

  27. 27
    demonhauntedworld

    I’m guessing the scary part of the movie comes from the bit about locking kids into a church and forcing them to have fun.

  28. 28
    DaveL

    the boys must come to terms with the pornographic images themselves

    “Come to terms” with pornographic images? Why, was one of their moms the centerfold?

  29. 29
    montanto

    “Holy Moly”? Anyone else think it’s funny that a Christian production company named itself after a mythical plant from Greek Mythology? I.E. PAGAN holiness? Or maybe I’m reading too much into this. Maybe they’re Captain Marvel fans.

  30. 30
    felidae

    George Carlin once said: “It shows how mean spirited Christians are when they call a harmless and pleasurable activity like masturbation self abuse”

  31. 31
    Pen

    You can all be liberal about pornography all you want, but in a Christian context, I would be astonished if it didn’t play an even more sexist role than usual. Women, especially the wrong kind, as demon temptresses, gotta keep them in line and keep yourself pure. If you are a woman, protect those poor innocent boys and men from your evil temptations by being modest in lots of clothes and doing what you’re told. Especially when they marry you, then it’s your job to protect them from temptation by putting out on demand. I look forward to the film review and hope it’s merely silly.

  32. 32
    timgueguen

    I wonder how they’ll represent the “pornographic images” in the film. Given the kind of mindset the filmmakers probably have the tamest of cheesecake photos are probably borderline porn in their view.

  33. 33
    tsig

    Before I locked a door I’d ask to know

    What I was locking in or locking out.

  34. 34
    Dave Maier

    I like one comment at the YouTube link:

    “Right after the guy EXPLAINS how the porn magazine spawned the demons, it says,”What they captured on film cannot be explained.””

  35. 35
    tuibguy

    I think I need to upgrade my porn collection. The only expelling I have to do is…never mind.

  36. 36
    GalapagosPete

    Starring Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson

    Written and directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.

  37. 37
    stripeycat

    I got lost at “lock-in”. Here in the UK, it’s a traditional way to beat the licensing laws – you buy several pitchers of beer at last orders (about ten-to-eleven), the pub officially closes, then you party until you run out of beer or the landlord wants to get some sleep and kicks you all out. I suspect since they now allow late licenses it’s a dead tradition.
    Hmm, if churches had gallons of beer on the table, I suspect youth retention would skyrocket.

  38. 38
    leonardschneider

    These people seem obsessed with pornography, so I’ll give them the same advice I give to those suffering from the psychological hypochondria known as “pornography addiction:”

    Watch a porno movie being made.
    Y’know the old line about “Anyone who enjoys laws or sausages should never watch either one being made”? Smut falls into that category, too.

    My advice for these “porn is evil” clowns? Talk a professional studio* like Vivid or Naughty America (or even the clowns at Brazzers) into letting them attend a shoot; they can learn firsthand how ultimately boring the making of a fuck film really is. For everyone involved, on either side of the camera, it’s just a job… Hell, even the drugs parties that were a hallmark of shoots in the ’70s and ’80s are over and done with. (Not to say there are none, but these days it’s definitely kept very low-key.)

    I dunno, maybe I’m giving the dingbats behind ‘The Lock In’ too much credit. I’d like to think that maybe after meeting the crew and performers, talking a while, maybe having lunch together, they’d fade away and find something else to bitch about… Because they’d been shown that porn really is just another form of entertainment. Nobody’s getting hurt. It’s hard to vilify what you understand.

    ——————————————–

    * (old geezer rant) The biggest problem with porn these days? Any dipshit with a digital video camera, two umbrella lights, and a room at a Ramada is suddenly a “porn producer.” As a result, there’s hundreds of hours of badly lit, badly shot, out of focus, warbly-sound, worthless wastes of time being foisted on the viewing public. It’s all crap! (Lois Ayers, the world needs you!)

  39. 39
    Ichthyic

    “Come to terms” with pornographic images? Why, was one of their moms the centerfold?

    meh, been there, done that…

  40. 40
    Ichthyic

    Starring Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson

    Written and directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.

    PULL THE STRING!!

    …a story must be told.

  41. 41
    lorn

    demons … uhh, no … looked to me like a half-assed makeup job and a dead-common photographic effect. More boring than scary.

    On the up side there is sure to be a XXX rated version that might not be a complete waste of time.

  42. 42
    dingojack

    stripeycat (#37) – “… I suspect youth retention would skyrocket.”
    I’m betting the urine retention wouldn’t. :) *

    leonardschneider (#38) – ” Hell, even the drugs parties that were a hallmark of shoots in the ’70s and ’80s are over and done with.”
    Not if you include Viagra (no need for ‘fluffers’ anymore)..

    Dingo
    ——–
    * Pissed teenagers locked in a room with a fundie priest and porn – what could possibly go wrong? @@

  43. 43
    Stacy

    Those “high school seniors” look about 26.

  44. 44
    DaveL

    Those “high school seniors” look about 26.

    That sounds about right for fundie home school.

  45. 45
    oranje

    Next will be the bit where heavy metal music is causing devil worshipping. They found out about the rituals through recovered memories.

    “Dirty” magazines? Really? One, the kids don’t generally read magazines anymore. Two, this stuff is way more mundane and mainstream than most will admit. And I agree with the above: they’d be shocked by how mundane an actual porn shoot is.

    Can strawporn be a word? Because that’s what they’re attacking. Oh, and anything fun, too.

  46. 46
    democommie

    I’ve always been able to expel the demons myself. Back in the old days I would do so and then smoke a cigarette.

  47. 47
    =8)-DX

    Pornography is a growing epidemic use has been and continues to be a boring everyday occurance in the church community.
    FTFY.

  48. 48
    tommykey

    Let me guess, the kids become blind from masturbating too much, but the ones who repent at the end get their sight restored.

  49. 49
    busterggi

    They may get their sight restored but will they ever need to wear mittens again?

  50. 50
    Matt

    At least it looks entertaining. Want to see something even worse? Take a look at this:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1761005/

    Starring Fred Thompson! And a reporter from Fox News! They’re Facebook page is an even bigger laugh riot:
    https://www.facebook.com/persecutedmovie
    I really just cant stand people like this any more. No one is out to get you…actually no one cares about you.

  51. 51
    leonardschneider

    @ dingojack (42): Cialis is more likely. Viagra can be some dangerous shit if you’re not suffering from genuine erectile dysfunction, whereas Cialis is used and prescribed as more of a “performance enhancer”… Your dick still works, just not very well or dependably. Its efficacy also lasts for thirty-six hours, so you can get two days work in on one 20mg. pill. Basically, if you and your partner decide you want to have fun all weekend, Cialis is the dependable and safe way to go. (Jeezus, I sound like a shill for Eli Lilly.)

    Of course, the professionals don’t need either drug at all: it’s why they’re in the business in the first place.

  52. 52
    Ichthyic

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1761005/

    As evangelist turned fugitive, Luther vows to expose anyone involved with or profiting from the girl’s murder; a mission that brings him face-to-face with the coming storm of persecution that will threaten the entire Christian community in America.

    well, there’s one movie where I’m rooting for the “villain”.

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