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Jan 03 2014

Bryan Fischer Award Nominee: ‘Lord’ Monckton

The Bryan Fischer Award is given to those who display a staggering lack of self-awareness, accusing their enemies of displaying their own worst traits. ‘Lord’ Christopher Monckton, who would need a promotion to get to be merely an idiot, earns one in this column.

Here is my New Year’s program for those justifiably antsy Republican members of the House who want to strike a final blow for liberty and democracy.

Step 1: Stop being panty-waists. A senior member of the House, whose opinions I have learned to respect, once told me that the real reason why no congressman has yet moved to set up a congressional inquiry into the self-evidently bogus “birth certificate” that festers to this day on the White House website is that they are terrified that the left will work night and day to trash the reputation of anyone who dares to question Mr. Obama’s legitimacy.

I understand my friend’s fear. It is real, for the threat is real. The “Democrats” have learned from the unlamented KGB, whose primary weapon of desinformatsiya, or disinformation, was a million agents whose job was to ruin the reputation of every key opponent of worldwide Communism by making up vicious rumors and peddling them via a plethora of front organizations.

How amusing. In the very same paragraph in which he objects to hypothetical attempts to trash someone’s reputation, he calls Democrats communists. Just like he calls Obama a Kenyan Muslim who loves terrorism and is out to destroy not only America, but the entire Western world. But he’s totally against using disinformation to trash someone’s reputation, you guys. Totally against it.

For the record, Monckton has previously said that Republicans are committing treason by not going full birther. And he’s the guy who so ludicrously pulled a massive number out of his rectal cavity, claiming that the odds of Obama’s birth certificate being authentic are 1 in 62.5 quintillion, then revised himself and said it was really 1 in 75 sextillion. I suspect he was able to fit that larger number in his anus by temporarily removing his head.

29 comments

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  1. 1
    tubi

    I suspect he was able to fit that larger number in his anus by temporarily removing his head.

    It also allowed him to sneak the word “sex” into his column. titter, titter

  2. 2
    colnago80

    In addition to claiming a cure for AIDS and being a climate change denier.

  3. 3
    richardelguru

    I don’t know why, but he always makes me think of Screaming Lord Sutch of Official Monster Raving Loony Party fame.

  4. 4
    Modusoperandi

    ‘Lord’ Christopher Monckton, who would need a promotion to get to be merely an idiot…

    Sure, he’s a moron, but look at who he’s leading. In the land of the moron* the village idiot is king. It’s called “the Meritocracy”, Ed! At worst the Cynical Manipulators should be jealous, because they actually put some work in to making the world a worse place, and then this fool just traipses in!

     
    * In this case, the land of scared old white people, ignorant, left behind and with a wicked mean streak.

  5. 5
    daved

    I don’t know why, but he always makes me think of Screaming Lord Sutch of Official Monster Raving Loony Party fame.

    To be fair, they do have a lot in common, except that Sutch was in on the joke.

  6. 6
    calgor

    @richardelguru

    I agree… The only difference was that Screaming Lord Sutch was honest and had principles.

  7. 7
    blf

    And some of The Official Monster Raving Loony Party’s ideas are now law: All-day pub openings and being able to vote at 18, to name two.

  8. 8
    eric

    they are terrified that the left will work night and day to trash the reputation of anyone who dares to question Mr. Obama’s legitimacy.

    I understand my friend’s fear. It is real, for the threat is real.

    Well, the threat of getting your congressional reputation trashed for going full birther is real. I’m not sure the dems in congress would really have to work very hard to make that happen. I’m not sure anyone at all would have to work to make that happen – seems more of a political ‘own goal’ to me.

    I can just imagine the grain of truth behind Monkton’s story. Some senior GOP congresscritter meets with him or some bunch of birthers of which he is a part. At some point during the meeting, said congresscritter says something like “look guys, I really appreciate your support for me and the party, but we’re not going to pursue the birth certificate issue.” Monkton then extrapolates the rest.

  9. 9
    zenlike

    ‘Lord’ Christopher Monckton

    No need to put Lord between scare-quotes Ed, he truly is a lord. Doesn’t mean he is not a moron though, actually, that probably helps.

  10. 10
    Gregory in Seattle

    I’m not sure why you keep putting Lord in scare quotes. He is a hereditary peer, the third Viscount Monckton of Brenchley and 69th in precedence among the 81 Viscounties of the United Kingdom. As far as is possible within a system of inherited power, he comes by the title legitimately.

    He’s still an ignorant a-hole, though.

  11. 11
    naturalcynic

    He’s the not yet retired Upper Class Twit of all time and wants to stay that way.

  12. 12
    Nentuaby

    Ed, I really wish you would stop the persistent scare-quoting of Lord Monckton’s title already, unless you’re going to start scare quoting EVERY aristocratic title. He possesses it (as) legitimately (as anyone can). Why continue to make stupid, wrong attacks on somebody who’s open to such a wealth of really good, valid attacks?

  13. 13
    A Waterchapel

    Whether he’s a Lord or not, American law doesn’t recognize peerage, I think. Right? Or is his the sixth estate?

  14. 14
    lancifer

    He is a rather odd fellow to say the least.

  15. 15
    zenlike

    Whether he’s a Lord or not, American law doesn’t recognize peerage, I think. Right? Or is his the sixth estate?

    So what? Are American newspapers talking about ‘Queen’ Elisabeth? ‘Ajatollah’ Khomeini? ‘Pope’ Francis?

  16. 16
    Al Dente

    Monckton claims to be a member of the House of Lords. He was sent a letter from the clerk of the House of Lords:

    You are not and have never been a member of the House of Lords. Your assertion that you are a member, but without the right to sit or vote, is a contradiction in terms. No one denies that you are, by virtue of your letters patent, a peer. That is an entirely separate issue to membership of the House… I am publishing this letter on the parliamentary website so that anybody who wishes to check whether you are a member of the House of Lords can view this official confirmation that you are not.

    If Monckton publicly and repeatedly lies about one thing then his honesty in other matters is questionable.

  17. 17
    zenlike

    14, lancifer

    He is a rather odd fellow to say the least.

    He sure is. For one thing, he is a truly deranged climate change denialist.

  18. 18
    Nentuaby

    A Waterchapel: Precisely what Zenlike said. If one wanted to be a hardcore republican and scare quote every title of nobility, that’d be a consistent position. Doing it just to one person you dislike (for however good a reason) is just stupid.

  19. 19
    d.c.wilson

    Meh. I see no reason to ever recognize any hereditary titles. It’s like we’re supposed to give instant respect to someone just because their distant ancestor fought at the battle of Sheepdip-on-Mumford and then some king touched him on the shoulder with a sword. If the UK wants to preserve that silly relic of the Middle Ages, that’s their perogative, but I see no reason why the rest of the world should have to play along.

    Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!

  20. 20
    JoeBuddha

    Proper protocol requires one to roll his eyes while saying, “Lord”.

  21. 21
    Gregory in Seattle

    @A Waterchapel #13 – The United States Constitution forbids the government from granting aristocratic titles and forbids members of the US government from holding such titles unless approved by Congress (Article I, Section 9, Clause 8.) There is a similar prohibition with regards to states (Article I, Section 10, Clause 1.)

    However, protocol has always been to recognize such titles when legitimately held by others.

  22. 22
    Gregory in Seattle

    @Al Dente #16 – For centuries, all hereditary peers had a right to sit in the House of Lords: that was essentially the whole point of the Magna Carta. The House of Lords Act 1999 ended this hereditary right; in its place, 92 seats would be elected by the aristocracy to represent their collective interests in that chamber. Most of the remaining 671 members (the number is not fixed) are Life Peers, honorary members of the aristocracy whose titles do not pass to his or her heirs who were appointed by the Monarch with the consent of Parliament. The 26 bishops of the Anglican Church are also members.

    Christopher became the 3rd Viscount Monckton of Brenchley in 2002, after the House of Lords Act 1999. That is to say, his father (the 2nd Viscount) could sit by inherited right in Lords, but he never had that right. A great many aristocrats are still quite sore that their “God given right to rule” has been yanked away from them, and he is really no different from the current generation of life peers pissing and moaning about their lost privileges.

  23. 23
    cry4turtles

    Let’s just admit it…it’s downright weird to say “Lord so-and-so” in America. This includes “Sir”, “Prince”, etc. No disrespect intended.

  24. 24
    dingojack

    So why confer titles such as ‘president’, ‘secretary’ etc. for the life of the (temporary) holder of that position?
    Nobody here would dream of calling Bob Hawke anything but Bob. (That’s Mr Hawke to you, snooks).
    :) Dingo

  25. 25
    Ichthyic

    A Waterchapel: Precisely what Zenlike said. If one wanted to be a hardcore republican and scare quote every title of nobility, that’d be a consistent position. Doing it just to one person you dislike (for however good a reason) is just stupid.

    Look, enough of this crap. The reason people put “Lord” in quotes, is based on the fact that Monckton did indeed used to falsely claim membership in the House of Lords.

    he’s the 3rd viscount, not a member of the House of Lords.

    frankly putting quotes around “Lord” to call attention to this is quite appropriate.

    people seem to forget just how much crap this ass has pulled in the last 40 years.

  26. 26
    iangould

    Monckton is fairly obviously mentally disturbed.

    His bulging eyes are a symptom of untreated Grave’s Disease. While Grave’s disease is pretty well controllable these days (George HW Bush was diagnosed with it in the 1990s), Monckton is on record as claiming ot have personally found a “cure” for Grave’s (as well as AIDs.)

    His appearance makes it pretty obvious that the alleged cure doesn’t work.

    Untreated Grave’s Disease has ar ange of psychological symptoms: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symptoms_and_signs_of_Graves%27_disease#Neuropsychological_manifestations

    Monckton seems to have been a nasty fucker even before his symptoms became acute but we should still feel a degree of sympathy for the man – he’s just not right in the head.

    A better question is what should we make of the people who take him seriously?

  27. 27
    caseloweraz

    There’s a lot to dislike about Christopher Monckton — almost everything, in fact. But he is a Lord according to current British protocol. He’s just not a member of the House of Lords.

    So putting his title in quotes is incorrect. If you don’t like using it straight, then don’t use it.

    I just refer to him as TVMOB.

  28. 28
    eamick

    he’s the 3rd viscount, not a member of the House of Lords.

    frankly putting quotes around “Lord” to call attention to this is quite appropriate.

    Except that viscounts are addressed as Lord So-and-so. It has nothing to do with membership in the House of Lords. Yes, the man is an idiot, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to imply his title is phony.

  29. 29
    colnago80

    Re Sir Lancelot @v #14

    He is a rather odd fellow to say the least.

    The pot calling the kettle black.

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