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Jan 01 2014

More 2013 Predictions From ‘Psychics’

It’s always fun at the end of the year to look back at all the predictions made by “psychics” at the beginning of the year. Invariably, you find that almost none of them came true and the ones that did were either so obvious that anyone could have predicted it or so vague that something was bound to fall within its parameters. Lamont Hamilton bills himself as a “recognized and respected intuitive spiritual counselor, writer, speaker and educator” who is “internationally known as a top Clairvoyant for his predictions.” So let’s check out some of those internationally known predictions:

Finally, a new comprehensive major immigration reform law will be signed into law by the end of summer due to bipartisan support. (Nope)

A global U.N. tax will be enacted this year to help fund disaster relief and poverty. (Nope)

A mind-to-mind telepathic telecommunication device will be developed for the mentally ill to help people communicate better. (Nope)

Philadelphia, New Hampshire, and/or Connecticut will experience the affects of an earthquake after church bells ring from the aftershocks this year. (Nope)

A truce is seen in the Middle East before late summer after one or more spiritual leaders emerge in the region to bring stability to several countries now in conflict. (Nope)

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Gingrich steps down from the Supreme Court after an illness. (Nope. And her name is Ginsburg, not Gingrich. Turns out Hamilton’s “spirit guides” are politically ignorant)

Prince William and Kate will have a baby girl, whom many will believe is the reincarnation of Princess Diana.
The New Madrid fault line will become more active this year from late summer to late October. (Nope)

Three airlines will merge into one umbrella company after another major carrier goes bankrupt in the U.S.
A political revolution will attempt to bring down the Saudi Arabian dynasty this year after another King or Prince dies. (Nope)

New broader and more specific civil rights legislation coming dealing with immigrants, the handicapped, minorities, gays and lesbians, and the mentally ill. (Nope)

In a move to streamline the Federal Government, multiple U.S. agencies will be combined under one director, which include one or more of the following departments: EPA, FAA, HUD, FDA, DOE, DOT, NOAA, etc. (Nope)

Oh, and he was so close. You’re dismissed. How about Vicki Monroe, a “psychic medium and spiritual messenger” who has “touched the lives of countless people across the globe” (mostly by lightening their wallet, of course).

Congress will deal with gun control: Automatic weapons and high-powered rifles, semi-automatics that belong in war zones will be removed, and only used in situations where they are absolutely necessary. (Nope)

No New England Patriots in the Super Bowl and no Boston Red Sox in the World Series. (Nope. The Red Sox actually won the World Series)

Tom Cruise will leave the church of Scientology. It has something to do with his daughter and recent divorce. (Nope)

You’re dismissed. Let’s try Nikki, the “psychic to the stars.”

A fire and explosion at a subway in New York City kills many. (Nope)
A chemical attack on the United States. (Nope)
Another cruise ship breaks in half. (Nope)
Another Super Storm like Sandy hitting the USA, Canada and Europe. (Nope)
Nuclear attack on New York. (Nope)
A huge earthquake in the Caribbean. (Nope)
Cuba and Puerto Rico becoming part of the USA. (Nope)
A weather satellite will come crashing into a building. (Nope)
A huge earthquake in St. Louis, Missouri, Chicago and Tennessee. (Nope)
The map of the world will change due to catastrophic events happening around the globe. (Nope)
Experimental monkeys escape from a lab causing a pandemic. (Nope)
Giant prehistoric sea monsters under the sea. (Nope)
A possible landing of a spaceship. (Nope)
An attack on the Vatican and Pope. (Nope)
Daniel Day Lewis nominated for an Oscar for Lincoln. (yes, but he’s nominated for every movie he does)
Jack Nicholson hospitalized. (Nope)
Another sex scandal around Arnold Schwarzenegger and has to watch his health. (Nope)
An earthquake of great magnitude wiping out Mexico City. (Nope)
An assassination attempt around Queen Elizabeth. (Nope)

You’re dismissed. Let’s try Sidney Friedman, who “claims a documented predictions accuracy of 71%, and a near 100% success rate with his Oscar predictions, missing only twice.”

Contrary to current tension, and against all reasoned historical probability, there is an unusual, unexpected calm with a period of peaceful understanding in the Middle East by summer of this year between either Israel and the Palestinians, or Israel and Iran, achieved not by political leaders, but by common citizens. (Nope)

In a quasi shake-up, Jimmy Fallon is named host of NBC-TV’s Tonight Show, replacing Jay Leno. (Yes, but everyone knew that was coming)

With stiff competition from potential nominees Helen Hunt, Sally Field and others, I see Anne Hathaway (Les Miserables) triumphantly holding the OSCAR for Best Supporting Actress. Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln) will win the Best Supporting Actor OSCAR. (So much for his nearly 100% success rate, he gets one out of two wrong here)

A new, odd, unexpected source of fuel for cars, trucks and/or machinery is announced. (Nope)

What this exactly means, I don’t know, but for a time, a huge portion of the internet goes dark. (This is how you maintain a “71% success rate” with predictions, by being really vague. It is inevitable that there will be a sizable internet outage at some point during the year)

While I truly hope this does not occur, I foresee a medical condition that sidelines Vice President Joe Biden. (Nope)

A huge discovery is made, or a significant event occurs, regarding solar flares. (Nope)

A plague-like pandemic affects populations in Europe and to some extent in the USA. Much of it ironically occurs in hospitals. (Nope)

You’re dismissed. How about Judy Hevenly, whose “clientele includes royalty, former presidents, Hollywood movie stars, and heads of state.”

President Obama will spend more time on foreign policy, discussing trade with Xi Jinping of China. New trade agreements drawn up to benefit both countries financially. (Nope)

An unexpected vacancy on the Supreme Court moves a conservative court to a liberal one. (Nope)

Dr. Dre, the rap music legend, stars in Las Vegas stage play, which brings him much acclaim. (Nope)

You’re dismissed. In fact, you’re all dismissed. You’re all frauds, fleecing the ignorant and the credulous.

20 comments

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  1. 1
    democommie

    “Experimental monkeys escape from a lab causing a pandemic. (Nope)”

    I think he just made that prediction about 4 years too late.

    Back in January 09, the “Grassroots” SKKKrotalMurKKKanPatriotiKKK Front was pulled, kicking, screaming and red in the face from the body of the GOP–qualifies for a pandemic in my book.

  2. 2
    dingojack

    Nikki, these monkeys weren’t released by Brad Pitt by any chance?
    Dingo

  3. 3
    Marcus Ranum

    Prediction: People will realize “psychics” are frauds.

    Didn’t come true.

  4. 4
    alanb

    Nikki, psychic to the stars, actually has an archive of all of her past predictions. You would think that embarrassment would lead her to hide such blatant evidence of her incompetency.

  5. 5
    Trebuchet

    But Sylvia Browne accurately predicted her own death, right? What? Guess she didn’t see it coming.

  6. 6
    timgueguen

    Nikki’s predictions look suspiciously like they were inspired by a week’s worth of SyFy Network programming..

  7. 7
    colnago80

    It is my prediction that the Reichwing whackjobs will find something to berate the president about in 2014.

  8. 8
    voidhawk

    ” Nuclear attack on New York. (Nope)”

    I wonder why they choose to do these predictions which are so easily falsified? If I were a psychic I would predict something like:

    “I predict a major policy disagreement which brings discord to the US Congress”

  9. 9
    Rick Pikul

    “Another Super Storm like Sandy hitting the USA, Canada and Europe. (Nope)”

    I’d grant her at least a near miss on this one: The ice storm that blacked out a good chunk of Toronto on Dec. 21 went on to cause flooding in the UK.

  10. 10
    Sastra

    voidhawk #8 wrote:

    ” Nuclear attack on New York. (Nope)”

    I wonder why they choose to do these predictions which are so easily falsified?

    In the cold reading trade, these are called “dazzle shots.” If you have an opportunity to make a lot of predictions or ‘psychic insights,’ always try to throw in one or two spectacular claims. Maybe it’s a nuclear attack, like this one. Or maybe it’s something surprisingly specific and strange, like “your departed aunt had several dogs — and she gave them all the same name” or “your father was buried with cigarettes in his pocket.” 999 times out of 1,000 it won’t be even remotely right but nobody will remember it.

    But IF you ever manage to HIT it — you’re set for life. It will be considered inexplicable and proof of your ability — a “dazzle shot.” Reputation made. So what the hell. Throw in a few and you might get lucky. Even getting close counts more than usual.

  11. 11
    Trickster Goddess

    “A possible landing of a spaceship.”

    Actually that happens several times a year. It’s how the astronauts get back from the ISS.

  12. 12
    catbutler

    For the record Puerto Rico is already part of the US.
    Also, not that it lends any credence to these twits, but Biden was briefly sidelined by his son’s illness wasn’t he?

  13. 13
    gerryl

    @6 timgueguen wrote:

    Nikki’s predictions look suspiciously like they were inspired by a week’s worth of SyFy Network programming..

    I was about to suggest that she spent way too much time watching bad Netflix movies — but then I don’t have access to the SyFi network. She’s a real Debbie Downer, isn’t she?

  14. 14
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Let’s try Nikki, the “psychic to the stars.”

    Yup. Fraud charges seem the appropriate ones for that trial. (I take it she charges herself yes?)

    Another cruise ship breaks in half. (Nope)

    Wait a sec – another? When was the *last* cruise liner that broke in half?

    There’s only one that did that vaugely meets those criteria and that was the Titanic back in 1912.

    Sure we’had them sink in collisions (Andrea Doria), run aground and topple on their sides (Costa Concordia) etc .. but break in half?

  15. 15
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    PS. I suppose we did see this :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yau9A7XDHs

    but :

    I) It was waa-ay back in 1995,

    &

    II) It was a yacht not an ocean liner.

  16. 16
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @11. Trickster Goddess

    “A possible landing of a spaceship.”
    Actually that happens several times a year. It’s how the astronauts get back from the ISS.

    You beat me to it.

    We could add the landing of Chang’e 3 and its deployal of Yutu (a.k.a. JadeRabbit) on the Moon and the splashdown of the fourth Dragon flight (SpaceX CRS-2 / SpX-2) plus plenty more depending on how you take that even possibly a whole lot of backyard amateurs flying / firing radio control models and toys.

    Not a hard prediction to get right really when made as vague as that.

    Now a year without spaceship’s landing that’d be a bad year and a tough prediction to get!

  17. 17
    democommie

    Swamidemocommie sez:

    I see “psychics” griftin’ teh roobs in future.

    Accuracy of this prediction? 100%.

  18. 18
    dingojack

    I predict Ed beginning multiple headlines with: ‘OMG!’.
    Dingo
    ——–
    (and Lo! It came to pass)…. :)

  19. 19
    bushrat

    I see the problem. You guys think that they were predicting actual events, but they were really predicting the plots for the years Hollywood blockbusters. They were actually quite accurate with those predictions.

  20. 20
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ bushrat : Were they?

    Were was the movie about an ocean liner splitting in twain?

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