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Dec 16 2013

Hawaiian Official’s Death Spurs Conspiracy Theories

As soon as I heard that a Hawaiian health department official who was tangentially involved in all that birther bullshit died in a plane crash, I knew that Joseph Farah, Jerome Corsi and Alex Jones had probably immediately gotten erections they couldn’t make go down. The Worldnetdaily has an “exclusive” (how is it an exclusive if other news outlets are reporting the same thing? If it only means that this particular article is “exclusive” then every article is an “exclusive”) article about it.

A key Hawaii official in the dispute over Barack Obama’s birth certificate – who lifted state restrictions to allow the White House to present the document to the public – has died in a plane crash.

Loretta Fuddy, the state health department director, was the only fatality among nine people aboard a Cessna Grand Caravan that went down at about 3:15 p.m. on Wednesday while heading to Honolulu.

Richard Schuman, president of Makani Kai Air, told NBC that the other eight people aboard were rescued from the site of the water crash.

KITV-TV in Honolulu reported Fuddy had been on health department business. Keith Yamamoto, the department’s deputy director, also was aboard and survived…

Later, Obama asked for copies of the document, and under Fuddy, the state instantly waived a long-claimed ban on reproducing long-form birth certificates. On Fuddy’s instructions, copies were produced and delivered to Judith Corley, a private attorney for Obama.

Alex Jones’ site immediately goes for the obvious question — obvious if you’re a wingnut conspiracy theorist:

Was Loretta Fuddy’s plane crash just a tragic accident, or did she have knowledge that the release of the birth certificate was nothing more than a staged PR stunt?

It’s all a false flag operation, I’m sure, carried out by the Illuminati, the Bildeburgers and Jay Z.

21 comments

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  1. 1
    alanb

    Does this mean that Obama’s assassination-fu is so great that he can successfully target a single person in a plane crash of 9 people, or that the other 8 people were part of the conspiracy and volunteered to undergo a plane crash to make it look real?

  2. 2
    Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    I knew that Joseph Farah, Jerome Corsi and Alex Jones had probably immediately gotten erections they couldn’t make go down.

    Well the metaphorical kind. It’s important to distinguish between an actual physical erection and these wingnuts mental proxy of an erection. That’s because their mutual inability to have an actual erection may be what leads to their irrational behavior that creates the proxy form.

    It’s my observation that their mental proxies are particularly vigorous in reference to Mr. Obama precisely because he’s a black male; i.e., Obama serves as Mandingo. Mr. Corsi, just like a heroin addict seeking either an ever-bigger buzz or to relive his first big Obama [imagined] erection, has recently begun to imagine that Mr. Obama is not merely a Mandingo, but gay Mandingo. This of course has led to even more exciting [imagined] erections.

  3. 3
    dmcclean

    Don’t be silly, alanb #1, his assassination-fu is much greater than that, he can control which of the 9 people in a plane crash will be the one that dies. Or convince the 8 to kill the 9th after the crash. Or maybe he is just so incompetent at assassination that he lucked in to killing the one target, just narrowly avoiding having her tell her story and bring down the whole administration. Or maybe all of these things at once, who knows, the beauty is that Jones et al get to decide later.

  4. 4
    democommie

    “Hello, this is your pilot speaking. If you look out the right side of the aircraft you will be able to see the smoldering caldera of Mt. Kumoniwannalaya. For those of you on the left hand side of the cabin; if you look out you will see–OMFG, it’s a BLACK helicopter with a death ray. Mayday! MAYDAY!!”

  5. 5
    democommie

    @2:

    “It’s my observation that their mental proxies are particularly vigorous in reference to Mr. Obama precisely because he’s a black male; i.e., Obama serves as Mandingo. Mr. Corsi, just like a heroin addict seeking either an ever-bigger buzz or to relive his first big Obama [imagined] erection, has recently begun to imagine that Mr. Obama is not merely a Mandingo, but gay Mandingo.

    Thanks, THANKS A FUCKING LOT!

    THAT was exactly the premise I used in my screenplay for, “Swiftboating with teh Big GAY blackpresident”. One of the KKKristianporn houses out in Sherman Oaks was gonna pay me 50 large* for it, but now their intel people will see this and cut me out of the picture in an SBC second.”

    Damn, I coulda used the cash.

    * I’m not sure about what the “large” were gonna be, but I gotta a pretty good imagination.

  6. 6
    colnago80

    It’s all a false flag operation, I’m sure, carried out by the Illuminati, the Bildeburgers and Jay Z.

    Carried out under the direction of the Trilateral Commission.

  7. 7
    Mr Ed

    Does this mean that Obama’s assassination-fu is so great that he can successfully target a single person in a plane crash of 9 people, or that the other 8 people were part of the conspiracy and volunteered to undergo a plane crash to make it look real?

    When Obama comes for you he’ll send someone you know, someone you think you can trust. An old friend or former coworker will just pop up and stop you for a second. While you are stopped a small, narrowly focused microwave beam will fired at your brain stem. While this is detectable in an autopsy no one ever looks for it, you’ll be dead in less than 30 seconds. The rest is just staging, plane crash, auto accident or suicide it just has to look convincing.

  8. 8
    Chiroptera

    It’s all a false flag operation….

    Ha ha ha. Good use of the word. I wonder how many wingnuts now think that “false flag operation” now means “any suspicious event that is probably the result of a government conspiracy”?

  9. 9
    Conservative Newswire

    Am I the only one left wondering how a plane wreck could possibly be used as a surgical instrument of assassination? Complete logic crash, but that’s how these goobers roll.

  10. 10
    John Pieret

    Keith Yamamoto, the department’s deputy director, also was aboard and survived…

    What? The deputy director wasn’t in on Emperor Ming’s Obama’s scam? Or maybe he was still loyal to Obama and tipped him off about Fuddy? But don’t all the best super villans get rid of anyone, loyal or not, who can reveal their plots?

  11. 11
    jnorris

    Then Nelson Mandela and Peter O’Toole. Be afraid, be very afraid.

  12. 12
    colnago80

    Re jnorris @ #11

    Not to mention Joan Fontaine and Tom Laughlin.

  13. 13
    freehand

    Conservative Newswire: Am I the only one left wondering how a plane wreck could possibly be used as a surgical instrument of assassination? Complete logic crash, but that’s how these goobers roll.

    For Dog’s sake, don’t tell any wingnuts this! [looks around cautiously]

    Simple. You don’t even need high tech. The pilot’s in on it. Offer everybody some drugged diet soda. Crash the plane (a little bit). Kill the target with a strike to induce internal bleeding. Call for “help”. The people wake up, can’t remember the crash because of their “head injuries”.

    Could have been worse – “only one person died”. Nobody will ever suspect.

    [winks]

  14. 14
    Conservative Newswire

    freehand: Ahhh, I see. I did see in the comments at WND that they think that Obama “loyalists” surviving the wreck held her head underwater. I mean, these are sick, sick people.

  15. 15
    bushrat

    JAY Z WAS INVOLVED!!! Wow, this really does go all the way to the top.

  16. 16
    dingojack

    Pfft amateurs!
    You want to take out a plane try this or this. *
    :/ Dingo
    ———-
    * No, really don’t

  17. 17
    John Pieret

    If Obama is so efficient in getting rid of people who threaten his nefarious plans, how come Farah, Corsi and Jones are still alive?

    … UNLESS THEY are all just part of a FALSE FLAG operation to deflect the rest of us away from Obama’s REAL PLANS!!!!!! The VERY FACT that there is no evidence for their conspiracy with Obams is PROOF POSITIVE that they are in it up to THEIR NECKS!!!!!

  18. 18
    timgueguen

    Bill Clinton was accused of murdering a stadium full of people to cover up things like Whitewater. Yet strangely George W. Bush did nothing to go after Clinton for these supposed murders. I wonder how Corsi and his kook buddies would explain that. Jones probably figures Bush is just another tool of The Conspiracy, but Corsi and Farrah likely would get upset at the question.

  19. 19
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @6.colnago80

    “It’s all a false flag operation, I’m sure, carried out by the Illuminati, the Bildeburgers and Jay Z.”

    Carried out under the direction of the Trilateral Commission.

    Following the orders of the Reptilians from Zeta Reticuli.

  20. 20
    Nihilismus

    #18 timgueguen

    Yet strangely George W. Bush did nothing to go after Clinton for these supposed murders.

    I just realized that in the 2016 election season, Republican candidates will probably be asked by Tea Party wingnuts if they plan to investigate and try Obama for the conspiracies in which he was supposedly involved. Hopefully that will turn away the moderates from thinking that we should change the party in control of the Presidency.

  21. 21
    dingojack

    Stevo – don’t be silly, the Zeta Reticulii would be far more circumspect. I suspect the Sontarians..
    Dingo

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