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Dec 04 2013

Robertson: Muslims Bring Demons Into Your House!

And once again we have Pat Robertson answering viewer questions and saying something incredibly stupid. A woman writes in to say that she booted a young man out of her house after finding out he was Muslim because she “felt an evil presence while cooking in my kitchen.” Robertson, of course, told her she was right to do so.

13 comments

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  1. 1
    Melvosh

    I feel an evil presence on this planet every time Pat Robertson speaks. Can I boot him off my planet?

  2. 2
    zero6ix

    I have written a one act play entitled “Pat’s Usual Routine”

    Scene: (The ROBERTSON ESTATE. Morning. PAT awakes on his huge bed. He rubs his eyes and walks downstairs to have his breakfast.)

    PAT: Is the coffee ready? I have a busy day of spreading the good word, and I need my energy.

    NAMELESS, FACELESS MANSERVANT: The pot was just put on. It’ll be a few minutes.

    PAT: CURSE YOU, DEMON OF MAKING ME WAIT!

    Scene:(PAT, having drank his coffee, enters his huge limo to drive to CBN. The limo then enters congestion due to morning rush hour traffic.)

    PAT: CURSE YOU, DEMON OF GRIDLOCK! You only wish to delay me!

    Scene:(PAT arrives at work, and receives the days schedule.)

    NAMELESS, FACELESS INTERN: Don’t forget, you have an interview in three hours for some magazine.

    PAT: That can’t be right! I’m only supposed to count my millions of dollars! Not actually work! CURSE YOU, DEMON OF PRODUCTIVITY!

    (PAT continues to angrily curse demons. Everyone within a hundred foot radius plugs in their headphones and listens to iPods.)

    PAT: CURSE YOU, DEMON OF MAKING PEOPLE IGNORE ME!

  3. 3
    Mr Ed

    I don’t fault Robertson for saying this I fault his handlers and family for letting him say it in public. With all the stories here lately about Robertson I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he had some dementia. I know it is hard but time to take grandpa’s keys

  4. 4
    Modusoperandi

    Mr Ed, so what was the excuse before the [hypothesized] dementia?

  5. 5
    cswella

    @4 Modusoperandi:

    Rare instance of dementia from birth?

  6. 6
    richardelguru

    ‘she “felt an evil presence while cooking in my kitchen.” ‘

    I get that feeling when I fry with hot sauce in the oil—makes your eyes water too!

  7. 7
    Richard Smith

    Dementia, or… demontia?

  8. 8
    d.c.wilson

    Modusoperandi@4:

    He was an asshole. Now he’s just a senile asshole.

  9. 9
    tsig

    Demons are like bad cooking odors hanging around the kitchen?

  10. 10
    DaveL

    she “felt an evil presence while cooking in my kitchen.”

    All I have to say about that is “No matter where you go, there you are.”

  11. 11
    Area Man

    How many of these people are just punking Pat Robertson? Come on Ed, admit what you’re doing.

  12. 12
    freehand

    “felt an evil presence”

    That’s what my preacher grandpa used to say, but I didn’t have the heart* to tell him it left the room when he did.

    * Or the courage. Hey, I was a kid.

  13. 13
    coffeehound

    @9,Well yeah, I feel a demonic presence whenever I fry trout.

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