Are you a Christian with a foot fetish? If so, a guy in Florida has the Christmas gift for you — Jesus’ toenails. He’s selling them on Ebay along with a cockamamie story about how they ended up in his possession. Their condition is listed, naturally, as “used.”
While traveling through Europe I went to see a “sear” or as Americans like to call them “psychic”. I stayed in Germany for a couple of months then decided to travel. I found myself in a little border town in the Czech republic. This short little older women whom appeared to be about one hundred and fifty years old popped out of a door way and grabbed my hand. Scarred the bagebers out of me.Then she pulled me into this dilapidated door way and said she had a gift for me. As I held out my hand and looked into her gray eyes I noticed moles on the side of her face with hairs sticking out of them, to me this indicated she was very very old. Then she proceeded to tell me what they were. Well I figured they could not be real because it’s not like I could get a DNA test on them? Who would I ask “God”. Now I figured I would part with them or try to sell them on my own website. Maybe they could find a good home with a curator who believes this is true.
This isn’t quite as good as Ron Wyatt, who claimed to have found the real blood of Jesus on the top of the Ark of the Covenant, which he found in a cave in Jerusalem under the hill of Calvary. He can’t actually produce the Ark or the blood, of course, due to all kinds of outrageous shenanigans that make perfect sense, but he claimed to have taken a sample of that dried blood back to America and had it tested. And he knows it’s Jesus’ blood because it only had 24 chromosomes (23 from Mary and one big one from God). I can’t wait for the person who claims to have found his semen.