Fischer: God Will Punish Us for Iran Agreement

Adding to the seemingly endless list of things that God is allegedly going to punish us for, Bryan Fischer says that God will curse America for reaching an initial agreement with Iran over nuclear power. Because Israel doesn’t like it. Good news, gay people — you’re off the hook, the next earthquake or hurricane will be John Kerry’s fault, apparently.

51 comments on this post.
  1. Michael Brew:

    Not only that, but God will also curse America for allowing Man of Steel to suck so hard. I mean, come on, Superman is God’s favorite childhood hero, and not only does God think they totally ruined Superman’s character, but God also thought the cinematography was just all over the place and all that jumping around just confused God.

  2. timgueguen:

    I wonder what the percentage of “God will punish us for coddling Iran!!!” responses will be versus “Iran will nuke New York net year!!!” responses.

  3. Modusoperandi:

    Huh. God is John Bolton. That explains a lot.

  4. sigurd jorsalfar:

    But I’m sure Fischer just loves America, even though his gawd hates it so bad.

  5. jnorris:

    Israel doesn’t like it, therefore God will curse America. Bryan Fischer now believes God’s favorite country is Israel. Imagine, all this time I thought the wingnutz were saying America is the apple of God’s eye.

  6. caseloweraz:

    I just want to dispel the rumor that God said “I will make Fischers of you men.” Totally unfounded rumor. Totally.

    Really… Totally unfounded.

  7. kraut:

    Everybody by now knows that nothing uttered by those morons is worth listening to. Why give them a platform by acknowledging their very existence? In the beginning their antics were entertaining, but posting those idiocies or linking to them defeats the purpose. Let that stuff wither on the vine and put on the dust heap. Not worth spending time on.

  8. colnago80:

    The non-existent Deity won’t punish us but, after Iran sets off a nuke next year, Obama and Kerry will get the Neville Chamberlain award as the prize chumps of the 21th century.

  9. vmanis1:

    colnago80: Yes, and the award will be given by Mr Frankenberger himself.

  10. Bronze Dog:

    Can we quote you on that, colnago80?

    One thing I should ask since I’m typically not up on my mideast politics: Why, exactly, would Iran detonate a nuke?

    Generally the idea behind nukes nowadays is that they’re used as intimidation props, not for actually blowing stuff up. Iran’s a nation, not a terrorist group, so I would think their leaders would be more interested in maintaining or expanding control than wreaking destruction. They’re especially unlikely to hand it over to terrorists since the explosion would leave a signature leading straight back to their enriching equipment.

  11. dingojack:

    SLC – just like it’s been earnesly predicted* to do since 1956!
    Has John Kerry being borrowing Obama’s TARDIS again?
    :) Dingo
    ——–
    * and with lip-smacking anticipation from genrations of genocidal chicken-hawks

  12. colnago80:

    Re Bronze Dog @ #10

    They have to set one off to make sure that it works. They will set it off either underground or in the desert somewhere.

    Re Dingo @ #11

    More barking from the chihuahua.

    Re vmanis1 @ #9

    AFAIK ole Frankenberger committed suicide in his bunker in Berlin in 1945.

  13. dogmeat:

    Yes SLC because Iran would build a nuclear device and then sell it to an organization they have no control over so they can detonate it on an unknown target so Iran can be nuked into the Stone Age. That is nearly as stupid as your understanding of the 30′s, you’re going to have to work harder, your stupid factor is down to a 7.3 on this one. Very disappointing.

  14. vmanis1:

    colnago80: The story about Frankenberger committing suicide in his Frankenbunker is wrong, as is evidenced by the recent rise of Frankenfoods. I’m surprised you fell for it.

  15. colnago80:

    Re dogmeat @ #13

    Ole dogmeat seems to have a reading comprehension problem. Nowhere did I say that Iran was going to hand its first nuke over to a terrorist organization or set it off over some actual target. They will set it off either underground or in a remote desert location in Iran for the purpose of making sure their design works and to demonstrate to the rest of the world that they are a nuclear power. There attack on Tel Aviv comes later.

  16. colnago80:

    Re vmanis1 @ #14

    Apparently, vmanis1 is unaware that the Elsevier paper on frankenfoods was retracted by the journal. It was total crap, as it made claims without producing any statistical analysis to back them up.

    http://goo.gl/drjc7v

  17. Trebuchet:

    There attack on Tel Aviv comes later.

    Your thinking is about as good as your spelling.

  18. dingojack:

    SLC – Good come-back Potsie**
    But seriously, good effort at ignoring inconvenient facts to advance your genocidal agendum. Come on surely you can dial the insane-rant-o-meter up to 11!!
    Dingo
    ——–
    * ooh I’ve so dated myself.

  19. vmanis1:

    colnago80: the paper was retracted under threat of an Iranian nuke.

  20. Raging Bee:

    …after Iran sets off a nuke next year, Obama and Kerry will get the Neville Chamberlain award as the prize chumps of the 21th century.

    Yeah, I’ll file that prediction with similar ones about the US politicians who “allowed” the USSR and China to get the bomb.

  21. Bronze Dog:

    I was the one who brought up the idea of Iran giving nukes to terrorists. I did so largely because I’ve heard that paranoid theory a lot when Iran comes up, and was preemptively refuting it.

  22. Modusoperandi:

    kraut “Everybody by now knows that nothing uttered by those morons is worth listening to. Why give them a platform by acknowledging their very existence?”
    Jerry Falwell (among others) got powerful because nobody but fundamentalists (and their politicians. And backers) paid attention to him. He only became a joke once his statements were repeated widely instead of whispered only by those like him (see: “Tinky Winky is a gay homosexual”), and that was two decades after the start Reagan administration and another decade beyond that for the planning and rise of the modern Christian Right.

  23. tsig:

    vmanis1

    November 29, 2013 at 10:38 am (UTC -5)

    colnago80: The story about Frankenberger committing suicide in his Frankenbunker is wrong, as is evidenced by the recent rise of Frankenfoods. I’m surprised you fell for it.

    You mean his Frankenbergerbunker?

  24. macallan:

    The non-existent Deity won’t punish us but, after Iran sets off a nuke next year, Obama and Kerry will get the Neville Chamberlain award as the prize chumps of the 21th century.

    I see Poe’s Law is alive and well.

  25. vmanis1:

    tsig: Indeed you are correct, it was the Frankenbergerbunker in which he spent the last days of the war. In earlier times, he liked to spend time in his chalet in the Obersalzburg, the Frankenbergerhof.

  26. vmanis1:

    (By the way, if you can say `Frankenburgerbunker’ quickly 5 times, you are not drunk.)

  27. drr1:

    Sylvia Browne lives! She’s being channeled from the spirit world by colnago80!!

  28. roggg:

    Jebus…with all the things God is punishing you Americans for, how is it that any of you are left to post on the internet? Dont you think you should be cleaning the locusts out of the rain gutters and sweeping the brimstone off the walk? Priorities people…

  29. Moggie:

    vmanis1:

    colnago80: The story about Frankenberger committing suicide in his Frankenbunker is wrong, as is evidenced by the recent rise of Frankenfoods. I’m surprised you fell for it.

    He wasn’t talking about the real Frankenberger, more of a Gedankenfrankenberger.

  30. vmanis1:

    We have all missed the part in Exodus (the book by God, not the one by Leon Uris) where God was going to punish the Egyptians by sending them a plague of Fischers. This was if killing their firstborn sons didn’t do the trick.

  31. vmanis1:

    Moggie@29: you win the Internets today!

  32. dogmeat:

    @28:

    Jebus…with all the things God is punishing you Americans for, how is it that any of you are left to post on the internet? Dont you think you should be cleaning the locusts out of the rain gutters and sweeping the brimstone off the walk? Priorities people…

    The only thing that has saved us is the fact that God has never figured out Daylight Savings Time. He keeps blasting the crap out of the Pacific and Indian Oceans, the 12/25 Tsunami, the Japanese quake, and now the typhoon were all meant for us. ;o)

    ———-

    Ole dogmeat seems to have a reading comprehension problem. Nowhere did I say that Iran was going to hand its first nuke over to a terrorist organization or set it off over some actual target. They will set it off either underground or in a remote desert location in Iran for the purpose of making sure their design works and to demonstrate to the rest of the world that they are a nuclear power. There attack on Tel Aviv comes later.

    Your idiotic arm waving changes nothing of “substance” with your comment or your stance. Trying to be cute, we understand you aren’t equipped to be witty, doesn’t work; your “point” remains utterly moronic.

  33. colnago80:

    Re Dogmeat the Arizona anus

    Yawn.

  34. Nick Gotts:

    after Iran sets off a nuke next year colnago80

    When they don’t, how about a year of total internet silence from you? I’ll willingly promise the same if they do.

  35. colnago80:

    Re Nick Gotts, the limey @ #34

    Nah, I’m having too much fun. I have to admit to having a laugh at all the negative comments about me. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

  36. Modusoperandi:

    colnago80, you make me sad.

  37. Nick Gotts:

    genocidal scumbag@35,

    So you don’t even have the guts to stand by your own fuckwitted nonsense. No surprise.

  38. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!:

    God Will Punish Us for Iran Agreement

    I suspect Iran itself is likely going to be the punishing agent here for that.

    To answer the rhetorical question asked at the start of the clip :

    The main reason we should stand with Israel?

    Because it is the right thing to do. Israel is a good ally with lots in common with the Western world (eg. free, democratic, progressive,providing more opportunity for better life,liberty and pursuit of happiness than most nations globe~wide) and its people deserve to be treated well and not brutally exterminated as the Arab (& Persian) side wishes.

  39. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!:

    @37. Nick Gotts : Don’t you ever think you could be mistaken or have misinterpreted and misunderstood what Colnago80 has actually said?

    Maybe less name-calling and strawmonstering those who disagree with you would be a good idea? Just a thought.

  40. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!:

    Nick Gotts : Don’t you ever think you could be mistaken or have misinterpreted and misunderstood what Colnago80 has actually said?

    Among a whole lot of other things.

    Your side of this argument Nick Gotts, ex -KG, is seems to me to be remarkably intolerant, unwilling to listen and overly judgemental without taking the circumstances and reality generally into account.

  41. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!:

    @17. Trebuchet :

    “There attack on Tel Aviv comes later.”
    Your thinking is about as good as your spelling.

    (Quotation marks added for clarity.)

    Yet weirdly enough there are no spelling errors there at all.

    One grammatical mistake – ‘there’ rather than ‘there’ – but no spelling errors.
    (Unlike most of my comments I must confess. My typing sucks.)

    So, guess that means we have to conclude Colnago80′s thoughts are therefore perfectly correct in your view too then? ;-)

  42. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!:

    I really hope colnago80 is wrong for the sake of Tel Aviv and the world more broadly.

    I don’t want Iran to get The Bomb.

    I don’t want Iran to get bombed – or bomb anyone else.

    It truly baffles and saddnes me that so many seemingly bright and good people here seem so quick to take the side of the intolerant religious extremists, bigots and fanatics that are ruling Iran presently. Plus the Arab and Islamist sides in general.

    You seem to hate the West (USA, Israel, Australia, etc ..) when it is the side has has given you everything and offers more all the time and love the Muslims, the anti-Americans, the anti-Westerners when they wish to destroy everything that is good in the world and make the planet into a hate-filled totalitarian misery.

    Seriously, WTF is wrong with you people?

  43. sundiver:

    Yo, Stevor, who the fuck is “taking the side” of Iran here. All we’re saying is getting Iran to the table is a step in the right direction. What the fuck do you propose we do? Attack them? Fuck you and your all-or-nothing bullshit. I don’t “love” those who want to “destroy America”. But I’ll be goddamned if I’ll be bullied by some hate-filled jingo like you and Colnago80 into blowing an opportunity to start building bridges and doing something constructive. What the fuck is wrong with you? And what constructive additions do you actually have to this conversation other than hate-filled vitriol? Fuck, you’re starting to sound like that Condell asshole.

  44. colnago80:

    Re sundiver @ #43

    Well, Bibi will be keeping his eagle eye on Iran.

    http://goo.gl/1WqqnF

  45. colnago80:

    More evidence of appeasement of Iran by the Obama administration. Time for impeachment proceedings to begin in the House.

    http://goo.gl/DET7yJ

  46. sundiver:

    Why? Because he doesn’t agree with your jingoistic bullshit? Do you think we should attack Iran or something? Remember how much fun Iraq was? How much more fun it will be to start a war with an adversary with an actual army. Why aren’t you clamoring for an invasion of North Korea? After all, they have nuclear weapons, and have an even more unstable gov’t than Iran.

  47. colnago80:

    Re suniver @ #46

    There is nothing wrong with Iran that a half dozen well targeted 15 megaton bombs won’t cure.

  48. Al Dente:

    There’s nothing wrong with colnago80 that having him shut the fuck up about stuff he doesn’t know jackshit about wouldn’t fix.

    Yeah, colnago80, we understand you’re Netanyahu’s number one fan and whatever he hates you hate. Since Bibi has to keep the Israeli far-right happy, he’s making anti-Iran noises. If you ultra-Zionists would ease back on your jingoism, the world might become a better place.

  49. sundiver:

    colnago80. Answer the question, why aren’t you and the racist StevoR clamoring for an invasion/nuclear attack on North Korea. We know NK has a nuclear device or two. And why aren’t you signing up for a tour of duty? I mean, put your ass where your mouth is and put yourself in harms’ way. It’s real easy to be an armchair warrior, so enlist and put your ass on the line.

  50. sundiver:

    Al Dente, he’s just another keyboard hero trying to show how macho he is. I admit, I got an education on nuclear weapons when the USN sent me to a school on Nuclear, Biological and Chemical defense. And it was pretty intense. They left out the really gruesome stuff but what we saw of the survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was depressing enough (I guess that had to show us the kind of burns we’d have to deal with). Anyone who bandies about the expression “nuke ‘em” is worthy of contempt and loathing.

  51. dingojack:

    SLC – Unfortunately (for you) diplomacy is neither ‘a high crime’ nor ‘a misdemeanour’. If it were, there wouldn’t be an unimpeached President of the United States of America.
    Dingo

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