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Nov 26 2013

Klayman’s Amusing Post-Mortem

I was dying to read what Larry Klayman had to say after his “second American revolution was a massive flop, only drawing a hundred or so pseudo-patriots to hear a gaggle of wingnuts blather about tyranny, FEMA camps and the Illuminati. He does not disappoint.

Last Tuesday, the Reclaim America Now Coalition, true to our word, massed in front of the White House in Lafayette Park and delivered a Declaration of Independence demanding that President Barack Hussein Obama either address and remedy the grievances of the people or resign. We gave him until the day after this Thanksgiving to comply, as a host of activists and patriots made known their views that he had violated his oath of office and committed treason.

Oh yes, they “massed” in front of the White House. Literally tens of people “massed” in Lafayette Park, milled about aimlessly while carrying confederate flags and badly spelled signs, and listened to a bunch of people repeat themselves for a couple hours over a crappy PA system. Viva la revolucion! And that’s okay, because he’s just like Jefferson, Washington and Jesus himself:

Neither yours truly nor other members of our ever-growing coalition will be deterred by these actions of the far left, no more than other revolutionaries in past U.S. history were. Indeed, our Founding Fathers – Washington, Franklin, Adams, Jefferson and others – were attacked similarly not just by King George III and his British crown, but by colonial Tories. And, while I do not equate myself to Jesus Christ or Moses, so too were these true revolutionaries, one of which is the Son of God and the other a messenger and agent…

We the People will not be deterred in our revolution to free the nation from the corrupt establishment class that has driven the country into the ground, of which Obama sits atop as the current president, no matter how we are smeared and threatened and no matter how the left and their allies in the media and elsewhere try to destroy us all.

And by “We the People” he means himself and a few dozen other crackpots. Some of the comments on the article are amusing as well:

Just curious, are you expecting more than 90 people this time?

You know, Mr. Klayman, when you convene fake juries in fake courts and commit to “declaring independence” at rallies no one shows up to and convene a fake “continental congress”, that’s not called having a revolution, that’s called LARPing.

That’s exactly what it is. They’re playing dress up, complete with tri-corner hates and white wigs.

Nice gathering you had there. You only needed another 150 or so to match the attendance at a recent college Shakespeare production I attended.

When you had your pretend-court trial, nothing happened. On Nov. 19, nothing happened. The day after Thanksgiving, nothing will happen. You’re the Harold Camping of the American political theatre, and you do nothing to help reasonable conservatives who have a chance at enacting meaningful reform; you simply drag the right-wing message into ridicule.

It’s okay, though. Someday that windmill will really be a dragon and he’ll save us all from its fiery breath.

33 comments

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  1. 1
    Chiroptera

    We gave him until the day after this Thanksgiving to comply….

    Isn’t everyone going to be out shopping that day?

  2. 2
    eric

    Someday that windmill will really be a dragon…

    Giants, Ed. Don Quixote thought the windmills were giants.

  3. 3
    Taz

    Complete with tri-corner hates

    Best Freudian slip ever.

  4. 4
    d.c.wilson

    Now I’m upset. My post mocking Klayman on WND wasn’t any more offensive than those post, but they banned me. How can I mock him now?

  5. 5
    deepsix

    “And, while I do not equate myself to Jesus Christ or Moses… I’m going to equate myself to Jesus and Moses”.

  6. 6
    raven

    News for Christian American Patriots Militia authority …
    Christian American Patriots Militia leader: We now have authority to shoot Obama
    Raw Story ‎- 22 hours ago

    Agents declined to comment on the post, which has been removed but was preserved in screen captures by Social News Daily, made Tuesday …

    Klayman isn’t the only one. A group called the Christian American Patriots Militia is threatening to kill Obama, citing the second amendment as authority. It was on Facebook for a few days.

    Most people are wondering when they will be arrested. The Secret Service is taking their time, most likely trying to find out how many of them there are.

    This is the third public threat to kill Obama in the last few weeks. One was arrested, one taken to a mental hospital.

  7. 7
    MikeMa

    We gave him until the day after this Thanksgiving to comply…

    FTFU: We gave him until the day after 22 Jan 2017 to comply…

  8. 8
    DaveL

    Is there a law against consuming alcohol in a public park in Washington D.C.?

    I only ask because I’m half tempted to get a bunch of people together with flasks to attend one of his events and play a drinking game.

    Every time someone mentions the Constitution, or the Declaration of Independence, or Jesus, take a sip. Every time someone mentions treason, refers to Obama as a Muslim, or a Kenyan, or a Socialist, or the AntiChrist, take a shot, etc., etc.

  9. 9
    Donnie

    @MikeMa: Presidential Inauguration Day is Friday January 20, 2017 (1/20/2017). The President has up until Noon on Jan 20th, 2017 to comply. He will be transferred to Andrews AFB by Marine One and take his final ride in Air Force One (not sure if it is still considered Air Force One at that time, since he is not the President anymore) probably back to O’Hare, Hawaii, or Kenya ;)

    At least, that is what happened for Bush 43 though he headed back to Crawford, TX.

  10. 10
    doublereed

    You know, Mr. Klayman, when you convene fake juries in fake courts and commit to “declaring independence” at rallies no one shows up to and convene a fake “continental congress”, that’s not called having a revolution, that’s called LARPing.

    Oh my god I want to see video of Klayman reading this, and being all like “What is this LARPing?” and then proceeds to find out.

  11. 11
    marcus

    Oh dang! From the title I thought maybe he was dead!

  12. 12
    D. C. Sessions

    Giants, Ed. Don Quixote thought the windmills were giants.

    No surprise — you can’t really expect a Mexican to get anything right.

  13. 13
    kayden

    @4, They ban people on WND? What happened to the Right’s cry of free speech?

  14. 14
    Don Quijote

    Windmills? What windmills?

  15. 15
    Moggie

    If Larry wants to roleplay in public, can’t someone introduce him to Ren faire or civil war re-enactment? There are ways to play let’s-pretend in the park without embarrassment. There are probably even cons where he could cosplay as Jesus.

  16. 16
    Crimson Clupeidae

    That LARPing line was great! I LOLd.

  17. 17
    coffeehound

    ever-growing

    Nice euphemism for reaaaalllly small, a political Ron Jeremy wanna be.

  18. 18
    jnorris

    Mr Klayman said:

    … while I do not equate myself to Jesus Christ or Moses, so too were these true revolutionaries, one of which is the Son of God and the other a messenger and agent

    Oh, he meant that Jesus and Moses.

  19. 19
    Michael Heath

    Well, ‘massing’ did me make me laugh. But I think you’re all being a bit unfair with your criticisms that Mr. Klayman’s group isn’t growing. I’m seeing about 33% per month growth rates, from at least 3 to 4 in the last month alone.

  20. 20
    John Pieret

    while I do not equate myself to Jesus Christ or Moses, so too were these true revolutionaries

    So, if Obama doesn’t come out with his hands up on Nov. 29th, is Larry going to turn a walking stick into a snake in the Rose Garden?

    He’d get larger crowds if he started turning water into wine.

  21. 21
    timgueguen

    Tri Corner Hate would be a great name for a punk band.

    Klayfeetman better hope a Republican doesn’t take the Presidency in 2016. No one will be interested in playing with him if one does, and he’ll lose his flock of sheep to fleece.

  22. 22
    meg

    Honest question from down under – why the Confederate flag? Doesn’t that technically reject the Presidency anyway? Or am I getting mixed up again?
    Does the south even realise they did actually lose?

  23. 23
    freehand

    meg -
    1. Defiance!
    2. Yes.
    3. No.
    4. No.

  24. 24
    meg

    freehand

    Thanks. I suspect they also don’t realise what the war was actually fought over?

    Glad we don’t have the energy or time for a civil war. It would interfere with the footy in winter and the cricket in summer. And the beer drinking. . .

  25. 25
    Ichthyic

    I suspect they also don’t realise what the war was actually fought over?

    the vast majority of them apparently don’t even know what day it is.

    ignorance in the South is still a big problem, maybe even bigger now than it was 40 years ago.

  26. 26
    Ichthyic

    ..now that wasn’t really fair.

    I’m sure a majority of southerners are educated and actually do know what day it is.

    but really, the vocal minority there sure should learn to shut the hell up if they don’t want the rest of the world to consider the South lost to complete idiocy.

  27. 27
    didgen

    @ DC Sessions, I believe Don Quixote was a spaniard, but why quibble when you can just be a racist.
    Larry did title his piece Stand with The People or Go Home, most people just skipped the step of leaving home.

  28. 28
    dingojack

    Ah yes – George III and the American Tories, what a bunch of raving lefties they were*. @@

    Meg – nah we’re sensible. Rather than fighting it goes through the courts (or the ballot box). But see Vinegar Hill, the Shearer’s Strike, the Wave Hill Walkout and the Eureka Stockade for near (and not so near) misses.

    didgen – look up “joke” in a credible dictionary .@@

    Dingo
    ——–
    * Klaymation’s personal Overton window has shifted so far to the right he’s probably correct, relative to his own worldview. He makes Hitler look like a RINO.

  29. 29
    didgen

    @dingojack please explain the joke in #12, I guess I am humor challenged here.

  30. 30
    dingojack

    Yes, yes you are. Take your creditable dictionary and look up ‘satire’.
    Dingo
    ——-
    PS also go here and look up ‘tone troll’.

  31. 31
    didgen

    That actually was a true request for the joke to be explained. But I’ll give up.

  32. 32
    democommie

    “Klayman’s Amusing Post-Mortem”

    GODDAMIT, Ed! STOP.

    Your headers are getting to be like the ones on the National Enquirer.

    I was fully expect something along the lines of:

    “Two pathologists cut into a body. One of them, spying something that seems odd, says to the other, “Hey, does that look funny to you?” (rimshot).

    ” Klaymation’s personal Overton window has shifted so far to the right he’s probably correct, relative to his own worldview. He makes Hitler look like a RINO.”

    Oh yeah! Well, do y’know who else was a RINO, yeah, that’s rig–, fuck, can you UNgodwin a thread?

    @31:

    The “joke” @12 (unless I’m missing it, too) was the “Mexican”. Most of us are aware that both Cervantes and his character, “Don Quixote” were Spaniards, most teabaggists aren’t aware of such things–thus any Hispanic surname is assumed to be Mexican–and gangsta!

  33. 33
    dingojack

    I’d certainly recommend reading Don Quixote, it’s a true classic!
    Dingo,

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