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Nov 21 2013

Another Klayman Suit Dismissed

Remember that suit that Larry Klayman filed against the City Pages and the Phoenix New Times because they published stories based on court documents that alleged he had inappropriately touched his children? It’s been dismissed, as I predicted 6 months ago. I don’t know why he doesn’t learn that legal complaints full of political boilerplate about how liberal and pro-gay the defendants are in his many lawsuits are almost guaranteed to get a case dismissed. As the dismissal order notes:

Finally, the Court notes that Plaintiff’s “shotgun” style pleading is an insufficient form of pleading. The Court had great difficulty ascertaining which Count of the Complaint stated a cause of action for the various articles because each subsequent Count “realleges and reavers” each of the allegations contained within the preceding Counts. This form of pleading is insufficient. Even though this is a pro se pleading, Plaintiff readily declares that he has been practicing law for approximately 36 years. The Court will allow Plaintiff to file a Second Amended Complaint after meeting the requirements set forth in Florida Statute 770.01. Failure to correct the legal deficiencies in the Complaint and to comply with pleading standards may result in dismissal of this action with prejudice.

In other words, even though he’s been practicing law for nearly four decades, Klayman still doesn’t know how to write a legal complaint. That’s why his complaints are full of statements like this:

“The defendants in this lawsuit are ultra leftist publications who are maliciously using my children to harm me in retaliation for my legal representation of conservative clients fighting radical homosexual and pro illegal immigrant agendas.”

That’s not a legal argument, it’s a political one. And it’s the kind of thing that annoys the hell out of judges, and rightly so. I’ve read a lot of Klayman’s complaints and this is the way they nearly all read. He doesn’t seem capable of learning from experience. His legal complaints seem to be aimed at a popular audience to convince them of how unfairly persecuted he is rather than at a judge who has to assess the legal merits of his case.

14 comments

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  1. 1
    colnago80

    I suspect that koo koo Klayman isn’t really interested in winning any of these cases. His primary interest in in getting publicity to attract donations.

  2. 2
    doublereed

    Seems like a bad way to get publicity. It’s basically judges making fun of him in legalese.

  3. 3
    colnago80

    Re doublereed @ #2

    Oh, but those judges are all left wing pinko commies to Klayman’s teabagger supporters so it’s water off a ducks back.

  4. 4
    Doug Little

    He doesn’t seem capable of learning from experience. His legal complaints seem to be aimed at a popular audience to convince them of how unfairly persecuted he is rather than at a judge who has to assess the legal merits of his case.

    Well if he didn’t exhibit this behavior he wouldn’t be labeled one of the worst lawyers in the United States. Sometimes I think this guy is a Manchurian like liberal plant as he seems to hinder the conservative movement more than he helps it.

  5. 5
    Bronze Dog

    His legal complaints seem to be aimed at a popular audience to convince them of how unfairly persecuted he is rather than at a judge who has to assess the legal merits of his case.

    There are a lot of bad lawyers out there who seem to be lawyers precisely so that they can release complaints like this to the public and play martyr after the judges shoot them down.

  6. 6
    dingojack

    Shame it isn’t going to heard in the Supreme Court, then it’d be water off Tony Ducks’ back. [Half-arsed drum-fill]
    Dingo

  7. 7
    Al Dente

    Plaintiff readily declares that he has been practicing law for approximately 36 years

    He hasn’t been practicing enough to become a competent attorney.

  8. 8
    John Pieret

    “… even though he’s been practicing law politics for nearly four decades …”

    Fixed that for you.

  9. 9
    Artor

    Klayman must have the shallowest learning curve this side of an amoeba. He’s been “practicing” law for 36 years, and this is as good as he’s gotten? Wow.

  10. 10
    scienceavenger

    Political boilerplate to you. Hard reality to goofs like Klayman.

  11. 11
    freehand

    Two part cartoon, same picture each time, dog sitting seen from back, human lecturing seen from the front.

    Left panel is labeled “What human says”. Dialog balloon reads “Finally, the Court notes that Ginger’s “shotgun” style pleading is an insufficient form of pleading. The Court had great difficulty ascertaining which Count of the Complaint stated a cause of action for the various articles because each subsequent Count “realleges and reavers” each of the allegations contained within the preceding Counts. This form of pleading is insufficient. Even though this is a pro se pleading, Ginger readily declares that he has been practicing law for approximately 36 years. The Court will allow Ginger to file a Second Amended Complaint after meeting the requirements set forth in Florida Statute 770.01. Failure to correct the legal deficiencies in the Complaint and to comply with pleading standards may result in dismissal of this action with prejudice.”

    Right panel labeled “What Ginger hears”, and the panel reads
    “Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf Ginger arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf Ginger arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf Ginger arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf !”

  12. 12
    dingojack

    Sounds the same to me.
    :) Dingo
    ———-
    PS: Kinda like this cartoon you mean?

  13. 13
    abb3w

    The judge seems only mildly horked off; she’s only threatening to dismiss his case with prejudice, not refer him to the bar over incompetence nor holding a hearing about possible sanctions under rule 11.

    I suspect this is simply setting him up — a warning shot across the bow, as it were. If he doesn’t refile, the Judge will be satisfied with dismissal with prejudice (and perhaps holding a grudge for having endured his drivel, in case he ever darkens her courtroom again). If he does refile, and the Second Amended complaint is still “shotgun” style, she may decide her sense of mercy is exhausted.

    On the other hand, I’m not a lawyer; it may be that the shotgun style “merely” violates rule 8, which isn’t quite so serious.

  14. 14
    hunter

    “That’s not a legal argument, it’s a political one.”

    To people like Klayman, they are one and the same.

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