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Nov 21 2013

49 Days to ‘Save’ Alabama

The Christian Coalition of Alabama, which seems to think that state is controlled by “radical leftists” and secularists, has announced 49 days of prayer and fasting to “save” Alabama from….well, from something. So in 50 days, everything will be solved, right?

The Christian Coalition of Alabama is launching a campaign to “Save Alabama” through prayer.

The organization is asking Christians across the state to spend the next 49 days praying and fasting with the goal of improving the “seven pillars” of spirituality, sanctity of life, family, education, health, poverty, and economic development/the political process in Alabama…

From the organization’s website: “Our nation is in deep trouble and so is our beloved Alabama. The radical left in Alabama has been emboldened by the Obama administration and is trying increasingly to undermine our Alabama institutions and values and force us to conform to their ungodly agenda. They are well funded, well organized and vicious.”

Oh, yeah, Because if there’s one state that is controlled by the “radical left,” it’s Alabama. I mean, it’s practically a communist state!

30 comments

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  1. 1
    daved

    They’ve executed 56 people since 1983, one of them this year. Sanctity of life, indeed.

  2. 2
    raven

    Alabama. I mean, it’s practically a communist state!

    Well it is. For some values of “communist”. That voting thing is a red flag here.

    Our world class lunatic fringes are so large, they even have their own lunatic fringes!!! Another example of American exceptionalism.

  3. 3
    DaveL

    Did anybody else notice that “poverty” is listed in the same way as “spirituality”, “family”, “education”, and “health”, implying that poverty is a good thing that they’re trying to promote? A case of unintentional honesty?

  4. 4
    unbound

    So, if they are going to go through with the fasting, won’t that hurt the Alabama economy since food sales will be down? Why does the Christian Coalition hate Alabama?

  5. 5
    scienceavenger

    @3 Yes, you beat me to it. And the sanctity of education? In Alabama. I mean…THE Alabama?

  6. 6
    John Kruger

    Not sure how “poverty” and “economic development” are not mutually exclusive. No doubt they have some explanation for why they are both “spiritual pillars”, but I expect it will only cause me an ache in the palm and face to read it.

    It is always nice not to specify what you are saving people from, that way you can always find something to make your endeavor a success after the fact!

  7. 7
    doublereed

    Yea, everyone knows that the reason why Alabama has such economic problems is because it’s so blue. It’s almost as bad as massachussetts by now!

  8. 8
    Doug Little

    49 days of prayer and fasting to “save” Alabama from….well, from something. So in 50 days, everything will be solved, right?

    Well yeah, all the wingnuts would have starved to death.

  9. 9
    dugglebogey

    There are no liberals left in Alabama. I think I was the last one and I moved away 15 years ago. The most liberal guy I know said to me “I’d quit if I knew there was a gay guy working here.” He was a newspaper reporter.

  10. 10
    Mr Ed

    I think many of you missed the point in the list and jumped to the conclusion that they were in favor of the things listed.

    spirituality (for), sanctity of life(for), family(for), education(against), health(not for women or those who can’t pay for it), poverty(for it’s a sign of Gods disfavor), and economic development(against),the political process in Alabama(for anything to keep them down),

  11. 11
    dingojack

    So on the 10th of January next year Alabama’s gonna have a much higher poverty rate, yay! No doubt from the dozen or so wingnutz praying and fasting so as to hurt the local economy, double yay!
    @@
    Dingo

  12. 12
    Moon Jaguar

    The radical left in Alabama — both of them — were seen fleeing for the neighboring worker’s paradise Mississippi.

  13. 13
    Larry

    spend the next 49 days praying and fasting

    Looks like its time to short the stocks of the makers of Slim Jims, Moon Pie, and deep-fried Mars bars

  14. 14
    Randomfactor

    Save Alabama…’cuz it MIGHT be worth something some day, I guess.

  15. 15
    D. C. Sessions

    And the sanctity of education? In Alabama.

    Absolutely. Every kid must attend Sunday school. That’s why his Mama reads him from the Good Book — don’t need no others.

  16. 16
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    DaveL@3:
    Mother Teresa glorified poverty. Maybe they are following her example.

  17. 17
    colnago80

    Re Larry @ #13

    The company Mars, Inc. is privately held so all stock is held by the owners, members of the Mars family.

  18. 18
    Jim Vines

    Probably just an attention getting scheme for more donations.

  19. 19
    John Pieret

    The mind boggles at how far to the right you have to be to think the “radical left” is running anything in Alabama. These people must think Atilla the Hun was a commie.

  20. 20
    jnorris

    I refuse to spend the 45 seconds needed to verify this, but I guess I has something to do with college football and post-season bowl games.

  21. 21
    vmanis1

    It’s so much fun trying to parse this confused screed. However, the effort is pointless, since the whole thing is nothing more than word salad, with no more intellectual coherence than the potato salad that Cousin Julie brought to the church’s last Straight & White picnic.

  22. 22
    Chaos Engineer

    The traditional Christian practice is of course the 40-day observation of Lent, which was inspired by the Bible stories of 40-day fasts taken by Moses and Jesus.

    I’m not sure what the significance of a 49-day fast is. Maybe they’re showing that they’re 20% more pious than those two gentlemen? Or maybe God listens to them 20% less often, so they need to pray longer to get the same amount of attention?

  23. 23
    jenl

    Are they really asking people to fast over THANKSGIVING and CHRISTMAS? Isn’t that sacrilege?

  24. 24
    Abby Normal

    This is somewhat similar to the seven pillars of Ismaili, a Muslim sect. I would love to see one of those overwrought “creeping Sharia” emails make the rounds, telling folks they’ve been tricked into worshipping Allah. These are the same folks thought eating halal food would cause them to become demon possessed. I can only imagine how they’d react to discovering their ritual fasting would be hardily endorsed by Imams.

  25. 25
    skinnercitycyclist

    the goal of improving the “seven pillars” of spirituality, sanctity of life, family, education, health, poverty, and economic development/the political process in Alabama…

    Any takers for the theory that this was an illiterate auto-correct for “property”…?

  26. 26
    dogmeat

    The most liberal guy I know said to me “I’d quit if I knew there was a gay guy working here.” He was a newspaper reporter.

    Easily solved… blow him a kiss.

  27. 27
    freehand

    dogmeat: The most liberal guy I know said to me “I’d quit if I knew there was a gay guy working here.” He was a newspaper reporter.

    Easily solved… blow him a kiss.

    No, that would reduce the average liberal quotient all the more. Dugglebogey solved it successfully by moving himself.

    As for later references to Mother Teresa and Lent, those are Papist references. In Alabama folks know that Jesus loves him some Pentecostals and Southern Baptists, and maybe Presbyterians, but not those heathens.

  28. 28
    twincats

    the goal of improving the “seven pillars” of spirituality, sanctity of life, family, education, health, poverty, and economic development/the political process in Alabama…

    Any takers for the theory that this was an illiterate auto-correct for “property”…?

    Nah, my [snark] theory is that the ‘poverty’ in there means they’re going to get the poor to do all o’ this prayin’ and fastin’ cuz, yanno, what else have they got to do, bein’ poor and all? Hell, it aint like they got jobs or anything![/snark]

    And, seriously now, since when is the ‘political process’ a pillar of spirituality?? Oh, wait; just noticed the slash attaching it to ‘economic development.’ Prosperity gospel, got it.

  29. 29
    barnestormer

    oh jeez; I know this is like 3 months old but. . . there are liberals in Alabama. I’m one of them. We’re not running the place and it’s honestly hard to see how anyone could get that impression. . . ever. But still.

    “There are dozens of us! Dozens!”

  30. 30
    barnestormer

    @freehand, for the most part, Protestants in Alabama are completely fine with using Mother Teresa as their Default Best Person without thinking about it at all. There IS a lot of glorification of poverty, especially in the form of 1. stories about virtuous poor people who would never stoop to taking government assistance because the Lord will provide, and 2. gushing over the picturesque squalor / simple lives of poor people in other countries in order to shame local poor people for not just getting down on their knees and thanking the Lord this instant that they have all these TVs and cellular phones and a roof over their heads and just such incredible luxury.

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