Bradlee Dean Cracks Me Up


Bradlee Dean is simply one of the most ridiculous, and hence one of the most entertaining, of all the wingnuts. His weekly columns for the Worldnetdaily are Sarah Palin-level word salads, with the added bonus of his atrocious writing (Palin can afford to hire ghostwriters; Dean can’t) and his sad attempts to make himself sound much smarter than he is. This column is a perfect example. But this claim bothers me a great deal:

Just this last week I have traveled through 15 states: Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and North and South Carolina, reaching out to high school and college students in hopes of finding those who will take the baton our forefathers have given to us.

I’d very much like to know what high schools he spoke at and to see footage of those talks. His history of delivering what are little more than sermons at mandatory school assemblies should raise a huge red flag to school administrators. Now, on with the fun:

Yet, how are they to forge ahead if they themselves do not know what America’s “His-story” has to reveal to them? In my endeavors, I found that what I thought I knew was only the tip of the iceberg in a plethora of information still left undiscovered; that is, as to whom we are as Americans.

I find that paragraph absolutely hilarious. He’s trying so hard to sound smart, using big words when smaller ones would work better. And that last sentence is just a grammatical abortion.

As you know, friends, America is under attack on a daily basis from an un-American, communistic, totalitarian mindset. In fact, it has been stated by dictator Josef Stalin, “America is like a healthy body, and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within.”

Leaving aside the fact that Dean seems not to have noticed that it was the Soviet Union that has collapsed, not the United States, this quote is almost certainly fake. A wingnut using a fake quote? How entirely unsurprising.

If you are tired of the rhetorical sound of circular reasoning (bringing about no resolve) and defeatism and would like to see resolve brought to your country, then simply “study the past.”

Right. Like you could “study the past” to find out that the quote he uses as a basis for this entire argument is false.

I know that there are skeptics out there that could be transported to the sun and still deny its existence, but the good news is, I’m only going to reveal to you some of America’s landmarks, which, in some cases, are literally in your backyard.

Moses holding the Ten Commandments above the Supreme Court building. Under him is inscribed, “Justice the guardian of Liberty”;

Yep. And guess what? Muhammad is there too. ZOMG! The Founding Fathers created a Muslim nation!

Comments

  1. blf says

    Using Transperfect at Bad Translator:

    From English: In my endeavors, I found that what I thought I knew was only the tip of the iceberg in a plethora of information still left undiscovered; that is, as to whom we are as Americans.

    To French: Dans mes efforts, j’ai trouvé que ce que je pensais que je savais était encore seulement la pointe de l’iceberg dans une pléthore d’information partie non découvert; c’est, comme à qui nous sommes comme Américains.

    Back to English: In my efforts, I have trouv that what I thought that I knew says nothing about the tip of the iceberg again only in a plthore of information gone non dcouvert; it is, like that we are like Amricains.

    To German: In meinen Anstrengungen habe ich trouv, daß das, was ich dachte, daß ich wußte, wieder nichts nur in einem plthore der Informationen über der Spitze des Eisberges sagt, gegangen nicht-dcouvert; es ist, wie, daß wir wie Amricains sind.

    Back to English: In my efforts, I have trouv, since what I thought, since again wute I, nothing only in a plthore of the information ber of the top of the iceberg says, gone nicht-dcouvert; it is, as, since we are like Amricains.

    To Italian: Nei miei sforzi, io ho trouv, fin da quello che io pensai fin da di nuovo wute io, nulla dice solamente in un plthore del ber di informazioni della cima dell’iceberg, andato nicht-dcouvert; è, come, siccome noi siamo come Amricains.

    Back to English: In my efforts, I have trouv, since what I thought since again wute me, nothing only tells a plthore of the ber of information of the top of the iceberg, gone nicht-dcouvert; , as, since we am as Amricains.

    To Polish: W moich wysiłkach, ja mam trouv, od co ja pomyślałem od znowu wute mnie, nic tylko nie każe plthore ber ewidencyjny szczytu iceberg, idziony nicht-dcouvert;, że, od my jak Amricains.

    Back to English: In my wysikach, I have trouv, from what I pomylaem from again wute crumples, nothings only not kae plthore the foxtail of information prime iceberg come nicht-dcouvert;, e, from we how Amricains.

    To Portuguese: Em meu wysikach, eu tenho trouv, disso que eu pomylaem de novamente wute amassa, nothings só não plthore de kae o foxtail de informação iceberg principal vem nicht-dcouvert;, e, de nós como Amricains.

    Back to English: In my wysikach, I have trouv, of that that me pomylaem of again wute kneads, nothings s in the kae plthore the foxtail of informao main iceberg nicht-dcouvert comes;, and, of ns as Amricains.

    To Spanish: En mi wysikach, tengo el trouv, de eso que yo el pomylaem de de nuevo wute amasa, nothings s en el plthore del kae el foxtail de informao el nicht-dcouvert del iceberg principal viene; y, de ns como Amricains.

    Back to English: In my wysikach, I have the trouv, of that that me the pomylaem of again wute kneads, nothings s in the plthore of the kae the informao foxtail the nicht-dcouvert of the main iceberg comes; and, of ns like Amricains.

  2. scottbelyea says

    “I found that what I thought I knew was only the tip of the iceberg in a plethora of information still left undiscovered..”

    Well …. excuse me while I get a pencil and a large piece of paper to diagram this one and to discover the meaning … if any …

  3. raven says

    Moses holding the Ten Commandments above the Supreme Court building. Under him is inscribed, “Justice the guardian of Liberty”;

    Yep. And guess what? Muhammad is there too. ZOMG! The Founding Fathers created a Muslim nation!

    OK. We’ve got a Jew and a Moslem. Is jesus there? If he isn’t, we have to conclude that we are really a Jewish and Islamic nation.

    That explains a lot and it’s going to be a long century. Those two religions are locked in a bitter struggle.

  4. matty1 says

    @1 “In my wysikach, I have the trouv, of that that me the pomylaem of again wute kneads, nothings s in the plthore of the kae the informao foxtail the nicht-dcouvert of the main iceberg comes; and, of ns like Amricains.”

    Thank you that makes much more sense

  5. matty1 says

    I looked up the wikipedia article on which figures are depicted on the supreme court building and, no, Jesus is not among them. Although Confucius is so that’s at least three non-Christian religions America was founded on, not to mention the three Greek and one Roman pagans.

    One nation under Jupiter-Zeus?

    Another fun factoid I learnt is that Moses beard has apparently been carved partly covering the stone tablets so he is carrying commandments to kill, steal and commit adultery.

  6. raven says

    wikipedia US Supreme court building:

    Courtroom friezes: The South Wall Frieze includes figures of lawgivers from the ancient world and includes

    Menes, Hammurabi, Moses, Solomon, Lycurgus, Solon, Draco, Confucius, and Augustus. The North Wall Frieze shows lawgivers from the Middle Ages on and includes representations of Justinian, Muhammad, Charlemagne, John of England, Louis IX of France, Hugo Grotius, Sir William Blackstone, John Marshall, and Napoleon. The Moses frieze depicts him holding the Ten Commandments, although only commandments six through ten, usually considered the more secular commands, are visible. Further, Moses’ beard obscures some of the words so that instead of reading “Thou Shalt Not Steal”, it says “Steal”, and similarly appears to command viewers to kill and commit adultery.[11] In 1997, the Council on American-Islamic Relations asked for the image of Muhammad to be removed from the marble frieze of the façade.

    I had to look.

    Menes, Hammurabi, Moses, Solomon, Lycurgus, Solon, Draco, Confucius, and Augustus.

    The South Wall Frieze is mostly…Pagans!!! And two Jews. In fact, there are no xians on the South Wall. There is no jesus anywhere.

    So using Dean’s nonreasoning, we are a Jewish, Islamic, Pagan nation. I’m not sure how Napoleon fits in there though.

  7. matty1 says

    I once caught a bit of a radio sermon by an Islamic preacher who claimed Napoleon was a secret Muslim so put him in the Islamic column.

  8. vmanis1 says

    Moses’s beard reminds me of the Wicked Bible, printed around 1630, which contained an unfortunate omission in the commandment NOT to commit adultery. The printers got into some trouble over that.

  9. joelperkin says

    I also love when dominionists accuse the US of being totalitarian. They totally want their own totalitarian government, just not with the current president.

  10. says

    If I were transported to the sun, I’m sure that I would not deny its existence. In fact, I would be in no condition to do anything. (On the other hand, perhaps Bradlee plans to transport me at night.)

  11. says

    Leaving aside the fact that Dean seems not to have noticed that it was the Soviet Union that has collapsed, not the United States, this quote is almost certainly fake. A wingnut using a fake quote? How entirely unsurprising.”

    “When one person is a moron is a tragedy. When thousands are it’s a statistic.” ~ Joseph Stalin

  12. says

    Yet, how are they to forge ahead if they themselves do not know what America’s “His-story” has to reveal to them?

    Hyphenations like that are a lingual dis-ease.

  13. caseloweraz says

    Bradlee Dean: Just this last week I have traveled through 15 states: Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and North and South Carolina, reaching out to high school and college students in hopes of finding those who will take the baton our forefathers have given to us.

    Fifteen states in seven days? I don’t think he could have done much outreach in any particular high school or college on that sort of schedule.

  14. David C Brayton says

    I always thought modus operandi’s quote went like this: ““When one person is a moron is a tragedy. When thousands are it’s a political party.”

  15. rabbitscribe says

    ” I’m only going to reveal to you some of America’s landmarks, which, in some cases, are literally in your backyard.”

    Who knew grass and a chain-link fence were so steeped in the history of our glorious Republic? Can I start charging admission?

  16. Christoph Burschka says

    whom we are

    He appears to be of the impression that grammar is something you sprinkle onto a text to sound erudite.

  17. arakasi says

    Just this last week I have traveled through 15 states: Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and North and South Carolina, reaching out to high school and college students in hopes of finding those who will take the baton our forefathers have given to us.

    A quick look at Google maps shows that this route is about 40 hours of driving time, assuming no traffic and without leaving the major highways. If he was actually speaking at schools, he would have to set aside 2 hours minimum per stop (assuming 1 hr at the school & no more than 30 minutes away from his main route). Assuming 1 school per state, he would have to reach 3 schools a day between 9:00 AM and 3:00 PM

    He probably spent the week driving from Minneapolis to Charleston and preaching to every high school/college student he spotted at the rest stops. This may explain why he left NY off the list – he didn’t have to piss between Scranton and Springfield, MA

  18. dogmeat says

    So using Dean’s nonreasoning, we are a Jewish, Islamic, Pagan nation. I’m not sure how Napoleon fits in there though.

    Raven,

    Napoleon established legal reforms in both criminal and civil law (Napoleonic Code) and promoted religious tolerance in the areas he liberated/conquered. In the sense of legal history, he fits, in the sense of a secular Deist, he also fits.

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