Typhoon Haiyan hit the Philippines on Friday and is being called the strongest storm ever recorded. It left at least 10,000 dead, probably many more (they’re just getting to some of the remote villages and islands in the path), and you knew some wingnut was going to tell us what message God was sending with this “punishment.” Here ya go:
Did you know that God is punishing the Philippines for their tolerance of homosexuality, prostitution, Catholicism, and other sins? The Philippines are about to feel God’s wrath in the powerful form of a cyclone so great that the world has never experienced one of this intensity. If those of you in the Philippines had repented, you would not need to be punished. But you tolerate prostitution, homosexuality, and adultery, and God will make an example of you.
Pay heed to this coming disaster, True Christians. God can and will punish the wicked. After all, he killed everyone on Earth besides Noah and his family with the Flood. God detests wickedness and hates sin. God will, when He feels like it, bring about the death of sinners by His hand to quickly toss them into Hell. God hates the wicked, and the wicked will die by His hand so that they may be punished eternally in Hell.
It’s so hackneyed that one begins to suspect that it’s a Poe. Especially when you read the follow-up:
Do not get angry with me for sharing the Truth of God’s judgment with you! I would love to one day visit your nation and preach the Truth of His Gospel with you. I am getting many personal threats and attacks on my blog, but I am merely informing you that this typhoon is, in fact, a punishment from God. You cannot argue with Truth. You cannot argue with the fact that God punishes wickedness.
God has punished the United States with the 9/11 attacks, hurricanes, and other disasters. He has punished Russia with meteor impacts and nuclear meltdowns. He has punished China with landslides. He has punished Japan with Tsunamis.
And he includes this picture:
What do you think? Parody or serious?