Todd Bentley Makes It Rain Gold

Christian con man Todd Bentley, now back in the spotlight after a divorce and remarriage briefly got him cast out by the faithful, went on Rick Joyner’s show and told an amazing story about a revival in South Africa where his wife was turned to gold, along with everything else they touched, and it actually rained gold from the sky. Evidence? Surely, you jest. You don’t need evidence when you’re dealing with the credulous folks that follow these frauds.


  1. Mr Ed says

    This can only mean on of two things. He thinks, knows, is followers are so gullible they will believe any thing he says or his followers are so desperate they will cling to any hope. Either way he is a despicable con man

  2. zippythepinhead says

    You shee Mr. Joyner, I love gold, the look of it, the shmell of it, the taste of it, the texture, I love gold so much I even lost my genitalia in an unfortunate shmelting accident …

  3. says

    Unfortunately, Todd Bentley’s knowledge of metals is as lacking as his knowledge in general. What he thought was the Lord’s Golden Angel of Happiness, was actually a different angel, namely the Lord’s Polonium Angel of Douchery and Cancer.

  4. says

    Claiming “miracles” is going to get harder and harder given the ever spreading amount of camera technology. Even some of the poorest people on the planet have cell phones with cameras these days. Any even semi-awake believer is increasingly gong to wonder why no one filmed the wondrous whatever happening.

  5. says

    Dear Mr.Todd Bentley:

    Please stop by my place when you’re in upstate NY. I will put out a tarp, have you lie down on it, mount unto the heights of my 6′ fiberglass stepladder* and I will, for a suitable “LOVE Offering” make it rain gold for you. It will be in liquid form, of course, as rain should be.

    * I will NOT stand on or above the highest “safe” step on said ladder!

  6. blf says

    Mr Conman, That was not gold falling from the heavens. The Magic Sky Faeries were laughing so hard they urinated

  7. reasonbe says

    man oh man, Right Wing Watch sure has its work cut out for it. RWW could make a time capsule of videos and totally depress future generations of short-order cooks.

  8. Childermass says

    Does this mean that he and the causes he represent won’t be needing any financial donations? Or is there something that I missed?

  9. blf says

    Trebuchet@13, <a href="http://linky...">text to display (what is clicked on)</a>

    So that link to your comment/question is <a href="">13</a> (which, it so happens, could be abbreviated as it is linking to another point on the same page, but that is neither here-nor-there). Don’t forget the “quote-marks” (href="...")!

  10. Trebuchet says

    @ blf & Doug Little: Thanks guys. So the “title=” and second set of quote marks below aren’t used? I’ll give it a try.

    Here’s a link to the Wikipedia trebuchet page.

    Looks good in preview, here goes!

  11. reasonbe says

    At #11: Let’s be clear. I like short-order cooks and the work they perform. My bad. I just hope for a future time when all the T Bentley’s in the world will be a thing of the funny past.

  12. Dexeron says

    Since this proves that god is obviously well able to take care of the financial needs of his followers (through MAGICGOLD), I’m guessing this means that starting today, they’re no longer going to ask for donations from the flock, right? Right?

  13. blf says

    Trebuchet, The title="..." is optional. From the W3C description (W3C is the organization which defines this stuff)

    The title attribute … add[s] information about the nature of a link. This information may be spoken by a user agent, rendered as a tool tip, cause a change in cursor image, etc.

    As far as I know, the usual usage (and it’s rarely used (as far as I know)) is to help visually-impaired people navigate the web.

  14. grumpyoldfart says

    Entertainers sometimes dare each other to perform their worst routine during a concert. Maybe preachers do the same thing: dare each other to make the most outrageous comments during an interview or sermon (and then laugh at the mugs in the pews as they nod their heads wisely while the story is being told).

  15. says

    Funny how all the really amazing biblical-scale miracles happen in Africa instead of places where most people carry some form of digital camera. All we get over here in the US are stuff like vague shapes on food.

    It’s just like a lot of newage stuff: As the quality and availability of recording methods go up, the “spectacularity” of the claim goes down. Psychics talk about perfect prediction records, but once you start controlled testing, suddenly they start getting modest and explain failures as due to sources of interference they “forgot” to mention that happened to reduce their powers to chance levels. Abductees will sometimes go into great detail about the UFO that beamed them up, but all the UFO videos are pretty much blobs of a few pixels that maneuver like insects near the camera or faint lights in the busy night sky.

    This should make people skeptical, but our species isn’t exactly renowned for critical thinking.

  16. Sastra says

    grumpyolffart #26 might be on to something, though my impression was that the camera was strategically staying off the face of the host because they thought it might reveal his thoughts too well. Those “uh huhs” and “mm-hmms” sounded to me like they could be translated into “uh oh, I’ve got to play along but this is just bullshit .”

    Of course I may be giving Rick Joyner too much credit — but if nothing else he knows that HE’S’s a man of God every bit as much as this tattoo freak and no, this gold falling everywhere stuff never happened to HIM in any sort of sober reality. He’s trapped though. If he admits this is a first the other guy one-ups him; if he says the same thing happened to him it just sounds like he’s stealing the idea since he hasn’t previously mentioned it; and if he throws any doubt on the situation well, there’s Satan and his skeptical ways. Joyner is stuck no matter what Bentley says, as long as it comes short of claiming to actually be Christ arisen and returned. Smile and nod, smile and nod, and keep your thoughts to yourself.

  17. Chaos Engineer says

    where his wife was turned to gold, along with everything else they touched,

    So kind of like the story of King Midas – except without the cautionary message, warning against the blind pursuit of wealth above all else?

    For his next sermon, he can re-tell “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre” but give it a happy ending. (After all the paranoia and senseless bloodshed, the survivors get to keep their fortune in gold dust instead of discovering that it’s been blown away by the wind.)

  18. says

    And everyone there was so awestruck that none of them thought of collecting some of this gold? Oh, sure, that makes a lot of sense.
    It reminds me of the last apparition at Fatima where the sun danced and rosaries turned to gold. Standing outside staring at the sun makes you see all sorts of shit. If the sun actually moved there would have been widespread astronomical effects and everyone who could see the sun at that exact time should have seen it move. And you think at least a few of the rosaries would have stayed gold for more than a few seconds. Utter bullshit.
    I also remember an evangelist who made it rain communion wafers although video of the event clearly showed someone throwing the wafers up in the air.

  19. caseloweraz says

    I wonder why Bentley’s wife isn’t in that video. Surely her supporting testimony would enhance the effect.

    Todd Bentley!
    He’s the man, the man with the golden wife —
    A scoldin’ wife.

    Such a wild story
    Calls his flock to pony up more and more.
    Heard this before?

    Tales of gold his sermons will impart,
    But you know there’s no gold in his heart
    For his tales all aim to put more gold in his hand.
    He should be canned.

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