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Jacobs’ Son Prevents Presidential Assassinations

It turns out that Cindy Jacobs’ amazing powers are not limited to just her. Her 6-year old son also has the special magic. He can even prevent the assassination of the president through the overwhelming power of his prayers. Seriously, I can’t imagine why anyone takes this woman seriously. Could she be any more obvious a fraud?

Comments

  1. says

    “Her 6-year old son also has the special magic. He can even prevent the assassination of the president through the overwhelming power of his prayers.”

    He’s preventing Obamandingo’s assassination? Why do Cindy Jacobs and her son hate MurKKKa?

  2. colnago80 says

    Hey, Obama is still with us so that proves that young master Jacobs is effective. End snark.

  3. catbutler says

    Seeing as Cindy is 62 I would be more amazed if she had a son who was six right now. She is clearly speaking about a past fictional event and not a current fictional event since we know God would never protect the anti-christ from assassination.

  4. marcus says

    So God tells this 6 year-old,”That’s a nice President you got there, be a shame if anything happened to ‘im.”
    The kid rips off an ‘imprecatory prayer’ and problem solved.
    Sounds like God watches too many old movies.

  5. says

    According to Jacobs’s website, Daniel has 5 kids now. She’s probably talk about Reagan, possibly taking credit for him surviving Hinkley’s assassination attempt.

  6. says

    In a something of a bizarro world reversal, I am protected from DEAD presidents. Anytime I accumulate more than a couple of Hamiltons or Jacksons, I am visited by the Angel of Death (in the guise of scratch-off cards, irresponsibly imbibed beverage alcohol or 900 honeys*) who removes them from my grasp.

    * As real as the 72 Virgins of the prophet, true story.

  7. zenlike says

    possibly taking credit for him surviving Hinkley’s assassination attempt.

    Except that that was widely publicised, so she must be talking about another ‘event’, probably one pulled out of her ass.

  8. dogmeat says

    HA! That’s nothing. My mother and I have been protecting the WORLD from alien invasion since she was born in 1948. Need proof? We both went on vacation at the same time back in ’96 and the world was nearly destroyed. Don’t remember that? It was detailed in the documentary Independence Day. World had to be saved by Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum and Apple, all because we took the family to Disney Land. True story.

  9. matty1 says

    I have a magic charm that keeps away tigers. I have not been attacked by a tiger since getting it. The charm works!

    Gregory in Seattle I’d like to buy your magic charm.

    The old ones still work.

  10. bushrat says

    I’ve never been assassinated by a Ninja, not even once…thanks to little Timmay Jacob’s prayers.

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