Bill O’Reilly’s Spiritual Guidance

Bill O’Reilly has a new book out, Killing Jesus, which purports to tell the real story of the gospels. And he was guided in this process, he claims, by the holy spirit him/her/itself. It all came to him in a dream, you see. A very fortuitous dream.

It was the Holy Spirit who directed Bill O’Reilly to write his latest book, “Killing Jesus,” he tells Norah O’Donnell in his first interview about the upcoming work. Though the book is not religious and its contradictions of biblical descriptions may upset some, the Fox News anchor and best-selling author believes that in writing it, he is using God’s gifts in a positive way…

“All of the ideas come to me in the middle of the night and one night, I just woke up and I went, ‘Killing Jesus,’” he tells O’Donnell. “And I believe because I’m a Catholic that comes from the Holy Spirit. My inspiration comes from that…so I wrote “Killing Jesus” because I think I was directed to write that.”

The inspiration doesn’t make him special or a chosen one insists O’Reilly, it’s part of God’s plan for him, he says. “I’m just one of many who have been given gifts. I can write. I can bloviate on TV. So I’m trying to use the gifts in a positive way. And I believe that’s all directed and that’s why I’m here on the planet,” says O’Reilly.

Let me suggest an alternative explanation: If there is a God, perhaps he put you here for us to laugh at? Or maybe you just ate some bad falafel and imagined it all.

25 comments on this post.
  1. dmcclean:

    So I’m trying to use the gifts in a positive way.

    If at first you don’t succeed…

  2. holytape:

    Isn’t there a bible verse telling us what we should do with false prophets?

  3. Alverant:

    I have dreams too but I don’t go making them into books. At least not books you can buy in most stores.

  4. minxatlarge:

    I saw Bill on the Today Show. ‘People want to paint me as a religious nut.’ Ya think? ‘But it’s a History book.’ Save that their are no independent first century sources, the names seem like puns, “Mark” wasn’t written until after 70 CE and the Easter rituals (which reference incidents not mentioned in the canonical books) seem to be duplicating the cult rituals of Divus Julius. Yeah, been reading those books. And you already know this stuff.

    So what moved Bill to write this now? Is it the shilling of a shameless grifter, or the last gasp of the reactionaries?

    Where’s the popcorn? Hmm.

  5. Spanish Inquisitor:

    “All of the ideas come to me in the middle of the night and one night, I just woke up and I went, ‘Killing Jesus,’” he tells O’Donnell.

    Right. It has nothing to do with the fact that the last two books you wrote were titled “Killing Lincoln” and “Killing Kennedy” (says everyone with even a hint of cynicism in their veins).

  6. Mr Ed:

    Should we just be happy that the voices are telling him to write books instead of something else

  7. pianoman, Heathen & Torontophile:

    so he’s saying god is repsonsible for the whole “loofah” episode, eh?

  8. John Kruger:

    Surely he will not be so elitist as to deny people divinely inspired words just because they cannot afford his book, will he? It seems like kind of an abuse of power to make money off of divine inspiration.

  9. busterggi:

    Jerry Lewis was also inspired by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes the HS’ sense of humor is a bit off.

  10. jakc:

    Bet Bill doesn’t offer to split the royalties.

  11. matty1:

    Though the book is not religious and its contradictions of biblical descriptions…I believe because I’m a Catholic that comes from the Holy Spirit

    “For Holy Mother Church, relying on the faith of the apostolic age, accepts as sacred and canonical the books of the Old and the New Testaments, whole and entire

    Somebody call the inquisition.

  12. Stella:

    So this time he’s got himself a Holy Ghost-writer?

    Stella

  13. felidae:

    His Holy Ghost writer came to him in the middle of the night and said we can make a shitload of money with a book on Jesus. I don’t know which is more despicable, Bill’s megalomania or his untrammeled greed

  14. Larry:

    And the rubes ate it all up with a spoon.

  15. michaelbrew:

    I’m not saying I’m special or anything, I’m just one of those people God has personally chosen to bestow superpowers on. What I’m saying is I’m basically Wolverine, but American and therefore better.

  16. debbaasseerr:

    Holy Ghost goes in, Holy Ghost ghost goes out.

    Never a missed contradiction.

  17. Modusoperandi:

    From the title I thought it would be the Gospels from the Sanhedrin point of view.*

    * Written in the style of Becket. (Pontius Pilate ~ “Will no one rid me of this turbulent rabbi?”)

  18. exdrone:

    O’Reilly should write an Argo-style ending where Jesus is trying to sneak out of Jerusalem with his disciples while the Romans chase after him along the Via Dolorosa. Tension and a ticking clock, that’s what the gospel needs.

  19. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!:

    Bill O’Reilly thinks he’s written a good book here? To quote the man from the Castle movie :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dik_wnOE4dk

    “Tell him he’s dreaming!”

  20. stever:

    Nobody told Bill the rule: If you talk to God, you’re praying, but if God talks to you, you’re schizophrenic.

  21. khms:

    Bill said a true thing there:

    I can bloviate on TV.

    Now why he’s calling that a gift is less clear to me – perhaps it is sarcasm?

  22. democommie:

    And did GOD spake to thee from a burning loofah, Billy? Wadeafukkinminit! How can you be sure that you weren’t being gulled by that great deceiver SpongeBob Square Pants?

  23. eric:

    night, I just woke up and I went, ‘Killing Jesus,’”

    On the Daily Show last night O’Reilly talked about his previous several “Killing X” books and the fact that he has more “Killing X” books planned in the works.

    Isn’t it just amazing how his spontaneous visions exactly match the titles of all his other, planned books? You can’t explain that!

  24. caseloweraz:

    In the spirit of a college freshman’s first letter home, published long ago in the Reader’s Digest, allow me to rephrase O’Reilly’s statement:

    “All of the idea$ come to me in the middle of the night and one night, I ju$t woke up and I went, ‘Killing Je$u$,’” he tells O’Donnell. “And I believe becau$e I’m a Catholic that come$ from the Holy $pirit. My in$piration come$ from that…$o I wrote “Killing Je$u$” becau$e I think I wa$ directed to write that.”

    (The Digest related that the student’s mother, getting the hint, wrote back something like this: “I’m so glad to hear you’re making such a NOble effort at getting to kNOw how to survive at college. NOthing pleases me more. NObody could be prouder of you than I am NOw…”)

  25. Brooks Austin:

    I never understood why if the bible was a divinely inspired and perfect book, why is it necessary for Christians to write so many books on the subject? Can’t the bible stand on its own if it really comes from God?

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