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Swanson: CO Flooding Due to Gay Potheads Aborting Babies

Kevin Swanson of Generations Radio is one of the most extreme and irrational of the anti-gay right. And since he lives in Colorado, you knew he was going to blame the incredible flooding in that state on everything he hates — gay people, marijuana and abortion.

“Is it a coincidence that this was the worst year politically in the history of Colorado, at least if you use God’s law as a means of determining human ethics?” he asked. “Our legislators committed homosexual acts on the front page of the Denver Post, do you remember that?”

He continued: “So here we have the very worst year in Colorado’s year in terms of let’s kill as many babies as possible, let’s make sure we encourage as much decadent homosexual activity as possible, let’s break God’s law with impudence at every single level, at every single level let’s make sure that we offend whoever wrote the Bible, so we have the worst year possible politically in the state of Colorado and it happens to be the worst year ever in terms of flood and fire damage in Colorado’s history.”

Co-host Dave Buehner paraphrased a Bible verse, saying that “this last year we walked in lewdness, lust, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties.”

“Marijuana,” Swanson added.

“And abominable idolatries and they think it’s strange down at that Gold Dome that we are not running with them in the same flood of dissipation,” Buehner added. “Sometimes when you’re in a flood of dissipation, God might bring a real flood to show you the consequences of the flood of your dissipation.”

Or maybe God was trying to send a message to you two wingnuts that you’re full of shit. Just a thought.

Comments

  1. Alverant says

    Didn’t Colorado just recall some senators who voted for gun responsibility? Sure God wasn’t upset over that?

  2. blf says

    Green tree-hugging potheads aborting babies…

    Some of them are probably even, horror of horrors, not white, not xian, or even have a college degree!

  3. unbound says

    Is he sure it wasn’t because of the witches? If they want to go back to real conservative values, it needs to be blamed on the witches.

  4. theguy says

    So God sends a flood to kill people because he hates gay people that much, and it’s gay people’s fault?

    Fuck.
    That.
    Shit.

  5. Jeremy Shaffer says

    theguy at 5- It’s like the anti-choice protesters in Kansas trying to keep Dr. Tiller’s clinic from reopening by pointing out that it’ll cause a nuisance to its neighbors while admitting that the nuisance in question is them protesting.

  6. timberwoof says

    Homosexual acts with state legislators on the front page of the Denver Post? I have heard of laying down cut-open trash bags to protect the floor from the Wesson oil, but the front page of the Denver Post? I’m not one to criticize someone else’s kink, but strikes me as a very specific kink indeed.

    My guess is Kevin Swanson is upset because he didn’t get invited to that party.

  7. tbp1 says

    #8:

    That’s an odd, and likely very small demographic. Why is God punishing so many other people?

    That’s always been the question, isn’t it? When I misbehaved as a kid, my parents punished me, not some random stranger across town. Moreover, they sat me down and explained exactly what I done wrong and exactly what the punishment was going to be. They didn’t just do something terrible, while making it look like a natural occurrence, and not say a word about it. They weren’t perfect, but I’d say they got it right a lot more often than they got it wrong, and even when they did get it wrong, it wasn’t due to malice. Why is the omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent creator of the universe so much less competent at these things than my merely human parents?

  8. Christoph Burschka says

    at least if you use God’s law as a means of determining human ethics

    I think I spotted his mistake.

    (Though I’m curious which verse of the Bible is the one condemning marijuana.)

  9. says

    So God sent a flood to punish people? Didn’t he promise to never do that again after Noah? (You know, when he caused, for the 1st time ever, water droplets to refract light into a spectrum as a sign of his promise)

    No way God would reneg on his promise – he is Perfect, amirite?

    Also, what does he have against pot – a plant he supposedly created??

  10. John Pieret says

    Who Knows @ 8:

    Why is God punishing so many other people?

    Ah! Because the other people didn’t pray hard enough to stop the green tree-hugging potheads aborting babies and so God didn’t stop them and so it’s their fault that the green tree-hugging potheads got away with aborting babies and so a just and loving God punished them for it.

    It’s so simple!

  11. matty1 says

    “Marijuana,” Swanson added.

    I love the idea of him sitting calmly nodding along to a long spiel by his colleague then suddenly shouting “Marijuana!” like a pothead Father Jack.

  12. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    @timberwoof #11:

    The “homosexual act” in question was the Speaker of the Co. House kissing his partner. See here.

  13. Acolyte of Sagan says

    14.
    theschwa
    September 23, 2013 at 3:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment

    So God sent a flood to punish people? Didn’t he promise to never do that again after Noah? (You know, when he caused, for the 1st time ever, water droplets to refract light into a spectrum as a sign of his promise)

    Ah, but didn’t the wicked gays hijack the rainbow for their own nefarious purposes?

  14. says

    @ 18:
    “Ah, but didn’t the wicked gays hijack the rainbow for their own nefarious purposes?”

    Of COURSE! They tarnished it, thus invalidating the promise it represented. God is therefore free to flood the world again!! He is truly all good!!

    Or, he found a loop hole and points out that he only promised not to flood the WHOLE thing again. Local floods are not prohibited.

  15. timberwoof says

    Hercules, thanks for the link. I wasn’t aware of that event.

    Those two look like typical Denver businessmen in blue jeans, and they’re not actually standing on any newspapers. I’m not sure what the problem is. ;-) (The problem is, of course, that all the Christian boys who see that picture will catch teh gay in spite of their daily dose of Jesus.)

    When I was in line for the movie “Addams Family Values” at the Tivoli Theater near downtown Denver in 1993, everyone was talking about how the name of the movie was a slap in the face for Colorado for Family Values, the group that had promoted the infamous Amendment 2 of the previous year. CFV cand the rest of the bunch down in the Springs can get over themselves.

  16. Evan Brehm says

    I’ll bet Dave Blount of the insane far-right blog Moonbattery will be mindlessly repeating this nonsense soon.

  17. grumpyoldfart says

    Next time there’s a drought, just get the Republicans to fuck each other in the gay way.

    Bingo! Fourteen inches of rain right where you need it.

  18. timberwoof says

    Whoever they are, I don’t think it’s possible to offend them at this point.

    Well, Jesus wrote the Bible, didn’t he?, and I’m a self-avowed practicer of the behavior that allegedly makes Baby Jesus cry. Oh, and I have it good authority that rain is God crying. I now live in San Francisco. I’m convinced God has SAD.

  19. Markita Lynda—threadrupt says

    Either God has seriously bad aim and even worse timing. In the Bible, prophets sometimes had to wait for the grandchildren of a king before they could find some misfortune that they could point to as God’s punishment.

    Alternatively, God was punishing Texas for it bigoted religious prejudices and rewarded it with life-giving rain when the an atheist convention was held there. Take your pick.

  20. says

    “Next time there’s a drought, just get the Republicans to fuck each other in the gay way.”

    A lot of them prolly won’t wait that long.

    “Why is God punishing so many other people?”

    It takes a village to raise a child or drag a homo to death or hang an uppity ni…, well, you know what I mean.

  21. francesc says

    “is one of the most extreme and irrational of the anti-gay right”
    That one seems a pretty hard contest

  22. eric says

    In an amusing (but completely unconfirmed) follow-on, one of the DJs on this morning’s radio was saying that officials in CO were handing out free marijuana to overworked/stressed out relief workers. If Swanson’s head was exploding before…

  23. lpetrich says

    That makes me think: if a Bible-Belt state is hit by a tornado, does that mean that its inhabitants are being punished for being scriptural percussionists?

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