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Watch Evolutionary Theory Crumble in 3D!

That’s the headline of a breathless article at the Worldnetdaily promoting a new movie produced by Eric Hovind that shows Genesis happening verse by verse in 3D. They seem to be terribly excited about that technology, practically clapping and cheering like a kid getting ice cream, as though it somehow had something to do with whether Genesis is actually true.

Coming soon to a theater near you: a depiction of the Bible’s creation account so lifelike, so real … you could actually believe it.

“Genesis 3D,” a technologically ambitious project of Sevenfold Films and Creation Today, is in development now, promising to be “the first, 3D, Christian movie about the very beginning of the Bible.”

Sneak peeks and scenes from the film are already drawing awe-struck praise.

“It’s like a time machine,” claimed Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis. “It takes you back in history as if you were there.”

“I was blown away, the graphics are stunning,” said evangelist and author Ray Comfort.

Gee, there seems to be something missing here. What is it? Hmmm. Oh, I know — evidence. They recently made a movie about Hansel and Gretl, but the fact that the graphics were great wouldn’t make anyone believe it was a true story. And the “trailer” for the movie is little more than people saying “Golly gee, it’s in 3D!” But Kirk Cameron likes it, and the guy who played Boner’s best friend on a bad 80s sitcom knows a thing or two about filmmaking. Of course, that’s about the only thing he knows about.

Comments

  1. unbound says

    Must be hard times for answers in genesis. They have to spend money on 3D to continue fleecing their followers…

  2. colnago80 says

    Ah, the nutcases have been proclaiming the demise of evolutionary biology for the last 150+ years, any day now. Funny thing, like the predictions of the end of the world, nothing happens.

  3. brucegee1962 says

    If they wanted to film this, they really should have done Milton’s Paradise Lost. At least the characters and language is a lot nicer.

  4. georgebean says

    Is that a Rise of the Planet of the Apes clip in there? Well, if Harun Yahya can rip off images for his coffee-table size comic book, Ken Ham thought why not do the same in 3D?

  5. some bastard on the net says

    The Ken Ham quote had me rolling!

    I’m so thrilled… It takes you back in history as if you were there.

    Wait a minute, are you saying you weren’t there?

  6. Sastra says

    Yeah, this movie is supposed to help answer the obvious rejoinder to the evolution “stumper” question “were you there?”: “Were you?” Now, you can feel confident that you practically WERE there! In 3-D!

    I admit that at first my interest was piqued by the claim that this movie would “take you back in history” to the moments of Special Creation. I have always wondered what Christians thought happened at the specific, ground level basis of process and method: did everything just pop up already made in one instant ex nihilio — or would an observer have seen a lot of molecules flying around building, building, building up an animal? Was there a noise? Lights? Sparkles?? Nobody I ask — meaning the YEC of course — seems to want to answer the question.

    Hell, they don’t even seem to want to think about it. A bear or giraffe or human being just comes walking by, maybe over the crest of a hill. Ta da! But I want to watch what presumably went on before that, on the physics or even chemical level if possible. In 3-D!

    Bet the movie doesn’t show it.

  7. says

    @some bastard

    It’s even more amusing because one of the “arguments” against evolution is: Were you there? How do you know it happened if you didn’t observe it?!?!?!?

  8. laurentweppe says

    Because one cheap clone of Wrath of Khan wasn’t enough for this year, now the shitty remake of the Search for Spock is coming.

    I’m afraid that’s all the proof I need: the Devil exists, and his hellish work is evidenced by the expensive mockery of good sci-fi released this year.

  9. says

    a depiction of the Bible’s creation account so lifelike, so real … you could actually believe it.

    Isn’t this a tacit acknowledgement that the words alone are pretty tough to swallow?

  10. zero6ix says

    Something tells me that it won’t actually be in 3D, but if you mention that, YOU WEREN’T BELIEVING HARD ENOUGH.

  11. says

    Didn’t watch the video, but one snarky question that comes to mind: Which version is it? IIRC, there’s the version where god created humans last among living creatures, and then there’s the one immediately after where he created humans first and then started making plants and animals. Same book, two different sequences of events.

    Likely not covered are all the other Creationisms out there with all the other gods and exactly the same level of evidence.

  12. zero6ix says

    After watching the whole “trailer”, I busted up laughing at this gem from the executive producer;

    There are 400,000 churches in America, and 6,000 movie theaters. Which one is having more of an impact?

    And neither one of them stopped for a second to let that really sink in. Let the notion that it doesn’t matter where the message is relayed, only that the message itself is bunk, really take root.

  13. says

    Is each chapter going to be a feature-length movie? If so, at about chapter 2 it will probably go the way of the Atlas Shrugged movies. All outgo and no income. Unless they have mandatory donations at the church doors.

  14. dingojack says

    “Coming soon to a theater near you: a depiction of the Bible’s creation account so lifelike, so real … you could actually believe it.”

    BwHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
    ‘Cause otherwise you’d recognise the truth: Genesis is total bullshit..

    Dingo

  15. bushrat says

    Truthier with flashy special effects.

    Really? (Grabs lightsaber, goes out to sign up at the local Jedi Temple.)

  16. davem says

    The first day ofGenesis might be interesting – Dog didn’t create light until day 2. A 24-hour long session showing unexposed film would be really accurate. …and cheap to produce/.

  17. savagemutt says

    Just wait for the Special Edition. I hear God is going to digitally insert Jabba the Hut into Eden.

  18. John Pieret says

    Heh! The trailer has, at one point, in big letters across the screen:

    With Scientific Research From Leading Experts

    Riiiight!

  19. caseloweraz says

    Zero6ix: “Something tells me that it won’t actually be in 3D, but if you mention that, YOU WEREN’T BELIEVING HARD ENOUGH.”

    I think it will be in 3F: Fleece the faithful flock.

  20. caseloweraz says

    Savagemutt: “Just wait for the Special Edition. I hear God is going to digitally insert Jabba the Hut into Eden.”

    Could be. It’s already got Aslan in there.

  21. bushrat says

    @23 John Pieret – Yes, absolutely, leading experts in Bovine Scatology. They have top men working on it now. Who you ask….Top Men.

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